Hin33 if you feel uncomfortable celebrating Eid yourself then how can you expect your kids to feel normal. First and foremost you have to be comfortable in your own skin to let your kids know that there is nothing alien about celebrating Eid. Where it is important to integrate in the society you live in, it is even more important to keep your own traditions alive as it requires a constant consicious effort on our part. If you are going to feel odd stepping out dresed up when the rest of your neighbourhood isn't, your kids will feel ten times more confused doing so and maybe even embarrassed. One needs to have a strong sense of identity. I cannot stand it when people do not take a day off for Eid. Their reasoning is something like, oh its a workday and we are only going to sleep at home if we take the day off so might aswell work. I know for a fact a family who do their celebrations the weekend after Eid. In our house, Alhamdolillah, everyone takes the day off and then coming and going to others houses continues through the weekend too.
This year my neices, however, threw a fit over skipping school cos they were having their christmas parties and other events at school. My sister and her husband gave in and let them go to school instead of taking the day off. I was so upset with them for doing so but their reasoning was, if you force them to stay at home at the cost of their school activities they'll probably hate it and hold it against Eid and we can always celebrate in the evening. I didn't argue with them much but it really ticked me off. I guess Eid won't coincide with christmas festivities next yr so it'll be ok.
Just as an aside here....thought I'd mention how very attentive the teachers are to cultural differences. They LOVED when my neighbor went in to do a talk about what is Eid, gave lots of time for q-n-a. And when my hubby returned from Pak, they asked my hubby to come in to give a presentation on Pak, its culture, religions, holidays, weddings, dress etc. It gives the kids of "different" culture the pride that they can and should have about their roots and the other kids (in kindergarten and first grade anyway) think its absolutely the coolest.
That is indeed cool mama. I think in my neices school the kids gave presentations about their religious holidays too, they had one on Eid, kwanza, hanukkah etc
we've (by that i mean my whole family) have taken days off when it's eid. usually kids would eventually go back to school after the eid namaz, but we never did.
our eids are nothing compared to what the eids are back home, but we still try to make them special. besides the day off, the whole family goes for eid namaz, which is again a special occasion in itself. my brother and i are older now, but we still insist that our parents give us eidi :D i always try to have my brother wear either shalwar kameez or new clothes, since shalwar kameez is what he normally does not want to wear. and it's come to a point now after years of insisting that he doesn't mind too much wearing shalwar kameez. (getting him to wear a kohati chappal is a different thing). i've always tried to dress up, wear new clothes. even try to get my mum to dress it up a bit.
ofcourse you have the visits at people's houses. making special dishes sorta thing. now that my brother's a bit older he can participate in the sacrifice and cutting of the goats and stuff at eid ul adha. and he's genuinely excited about doing it. so much so he skipped his exam to do this, since it's such a big occasion. he was hesitant at first, and he was a kid before, but he now knows it's one of those special things that you get to do only at eid.
when i was in the states, the masjid used to organize an eid day for the kids and their families. they had games and balloons and other activities, and the kids dressed up and had a blast there. (i was too old to have any real fun there :p)
yet my brother was out shopping for christmas gifts for his pals, and even spent the christmas eve evening at his friend's house :p
my point is that we try to make eid as special occasion as possible. a lot of times it sucks, the eid spirit isn't there, but atleast you know it's eid and not just another day in which you get to sit in your shalwar kameez. so who cares if you go outside in your shalwar kameez. the people out actually like looking at the clothes since it's just so different. and when you're among other people who wear saris and shalwar kameez, you don't feel like an outsider. heck you even wanna dress up just as much as them. it's hard work, but it's worth it.
excellent suggestions from everyone.
I am however confused on one thing, why does one have to wear desi clothes for eid. we are mixing culture and religion and it can be confusing. we have many cultural events like shaddis and indoendence day type things.
I see no issue in getting western clothes for eid. What I do know is that as a kid I did not really find a huge difference in eid in pak, ksa and uk, always dressed up, had special treats at home, went for prayers, got eidi, visited ppl or had guests, many times a few ppl would host everyone and everyone would gather there. the key is effort..having friends, family around, and a good sized community also help
I simply dont buy new kurta shalwars for eid anymore, I dont wear them often enough to justify spending the money on something that will just sit in my closet most of the time.
key things ppl have pointed out already
1) take time off
2) make it important
3) celebrate the day
4) give gifts
5) go to community events
6) have get togethers, go visit friends
i agree with all of you about making eid special... but the gap is that the whole world around u isnt celebrating eid.. they celebrate on the 25th of dec.. so just making eid special which can surely help but cant totally fill the gap of not doing anything on christmas..
the debate i am having with myself is..How bad would it be having a tree and gifts under it that the kids can open on christmas day... following some family get togethers..
for me making sure that my brother wears a shalwar kameez (he hasn't had a new one in years. he just has 2 that rotate each eid) is so he doesn't feel ashamed or weird about wearing shalwar kameez, so he feels proud and comfortable wearing shalwar kameez just as he is comfortable wearing a jeans and a tshirt. it's just part of making sure he is in touch with a little bit of the cultural stuff. me i guess it's cuz that's what i used to do back home and i've kinda got used to the feeling that it's not eid unless you're wearing shalwar kameez.
i agree with all of you about making eid special... but the gap is that the whole world around u isnt celebrating eid.. they celebrate on the 25th of dec.. so just making eid special which can surely help but cant totally fill the gap of not doing anything on christmas..
the debate i am having with myself is..How bad would it be having a tree and gifts under it that the kids can open on christmas day... following some family get togethers..
I dunno hin I think putting up a Christmas tree and the gifts part is going too far. To understand others' cultures and religion and be accepting of it is one thing but to start practicing it is another.
I agree 100%. It is ok to wear western clothes on EID in fact half of the world wears western clothes on eid. It doesnt make you any less muslim ..right? Wearing shalwar kameez, thobes,abayas etc etc are all cultural…one can wear it to keep up with their culture but surely it isnt a neccessity.
As Muslims we should be different by following Islamic traditions, customs, and festivities and not by following the traditions,customs of other faiths. I agree with FF…appreciate other faiths and be respectful towards them but stick to your own. :k:
I dunno hin I think putting up a Christmas tree and the gifts part is going too far. To understand others' cultures and religion and be accepting of it is one thing but to start practicing it is another.
That's my fear also... but the kids who were born here.. and lived here all their lives.. this is... their culture and pakistan is some foreign country from their point of view.. so to have them just ignore something as big as Christmas .. must not be easy on them..
As for your sister's kids femme i think what your sister and her hub did was okay given the circumstances. Their kids will hold a grudge against eid for ruining their christmas and their course of action, given the choices, was a good one. But that does lead us to ask other questions such as the kids already engaging in christmas activities on days leading up to christmas but the same is not happening for Eid.
Also, braces for rotten tomatoes this is just another reason why i'm against people sending kids to public schools and not islamic schools. And that begs the question of how many of us are willing to give up the tv subscription that gives us a thousand and three channels (and other similar extravagances) and maybe allocate more $ towards kids' schooling.
Funny thing though the public school one of my brother's kids go to in chicago have totally ceased all christmas/holiday activities since that school is running short on funds. Some of the locals think its a conspiracy by that area's non-christian residents :D
That's my fear also... but the kids who were born here.. and lived here all their lives.. this is... their culture and pakistan is some foreign country from their point of view.. so to have them just ignore something as big as Christmas .. must not be easy on them..
i wish some teenagers who had to go thru this as kids replied their own first hand feelings / experiences ...
its really not that big of a deal, as a lil kid its a little confusing but then even as a pre tee or teen you have a good understanding of it. I was once a teen, ..a long time ago, and celebrated eid in UK, and was not really bothered.
every student will 
