Many folks I know are able to tell me right off the bat that they do not have the patience required to deal with kids. Some of them are very rigid in their ways and just cannot tolerate the kind of bandwidth you need with children (i.e. the ability to let things get messy or allow kids to make mistakes and learn on their own).
These people often turn into parents that allow the TV to babysit while they get on with whatever might be keeping them busy. These are the parents that will choose to feed their kids "Happy Meals" and put soda pop in nursing bottles because it pleases the child.
Raising kids is more than just a full-time job.......and yes, women that do it as well as hold a career down are skilled artists. And while I try my hardest to meet the goals that I have set for myself, I have yet to reach the standard of "skilled artist" in this field.
Is it possible they're underestimating themselves? For example, I joke around often that I won't be a good mother for whatever reason, but I am confident that if I'm blessed with the opportunity to prove myself, I think I will do at least an okay job.. Or did these people learn the hard way (after having children)?
I do know personal examples where the women think their job as a "mother" stops at giving birth when in reality there si so much more work to it and they neglect and/or emotionally abuse their children and/or spoil them.
believe they are doing their kids a huge service by staying at home with them or keeping them out of pre-school
Woah......hold up there......people actually believe that sending children to pre-school is bad?? Or am I just reading it all wrong....I actually know SAHM's who send their kids to pre-school.......it makes a whole lot of difference.....never knew people try to keep their kids out of pre-school
UZ, yeah i know its been done to death. Thought what the heck, lets discuss it again :)
Guac, a lot of people prefer homeschooling... but the percentage of kids who stay at home (outside of pakistan) i believe is a lot less than those that go to daycare/kinder. Why on earth would every block have a daycare centre and why would it be filled up before it even opens?
homeschooling really never crossed my mind ........then I guess not going to kindergarden and preschool isn't bad.......but what about the social interactions and everything else children learn....that should account for something.......also it sounded as if pre-school is bad (trying to "keep them out" of preschool).....at least here, pre-school is way more than a daycare (which I am not saying is bad either)
everyone puts importance on different things. Some people have enough family around that have little munchkins of their own for the kids to get kiddy interaction. And thats enough for them... So maybe, that's why they keep them home until its time for school?
4 yr kinder is compulsory here, but a lot of the times kids who start at 4 and who havent had outside kiddy interaction prior to that, get kept back a year. It's actually quite interesting. Then you have other kids who may have been going to daycare since they were infants but get kept behind also due to behavioural concerns.
So cant pinpoint why some people dont send their kids to preschool, and some do :) My munchkin has been going to daycare/kinder for almost two years now. And other than just feeling guilty now and then, I think i made the right decision.
I have rarely seen a mother where her own kids are NOT her priority. There might be different styles of parenting but their proirites are still their kids.
But there are other priorities in life.... sleep, food, expenses, your own parents. Being a mother does not mean that you let go of everything. You have priorties as a wife, a daughter, a sister, and a employee.
Something that just occurred to me.. well awhile ago.
Why is it thought that a women who works.. lets rephrase that, a mother who works... her priority is not raising her children?
can the two not go hand in hand?
well, what about a father who works? Can we say that he is not raising his kids?
Yes, a mother can work and raise kids. So can a father. And its not only the amount of time you spend with your kids, its the quality. I have seen many women be stay at home moms but barely spend quality time with their kids.
Working and being a parent is a system that can work, especially if both parents partake in raising their kids.
Something that just occurred to me.. well awhile ago.
Why is it thought that a women who works.. lets rephrase that, a mother who works... her priority is not raising her children?
can the two not go hand in hand?
My sympathies are always with working ladies. This concept is totally wrong the they don’t give priority to her kids bcoz she scarifies only for the betterment of her kids.
I’ve noticed in some cases that working ladies kids are more disciplined then the kids of a house wife. Although this is only my observation.
sadzz: i dont think anyone can win this debate.. to each their own... you shouldnt let it bother you anymore..cuz judging by threads in the past by you and also blog entries, i know it irritates you that ppl may think just cuz you work you cant be a good mom... but ive never read an entry by you badmouthing ure lil one.. you are so gentle towards ure lil one... and so understanding and one can just see taht ure girl is ure priority.
sadzz: i dont think anyone can win this debate.. to each their own... you shouldnt let it bother you anymore..cuz judging by threads in the past by you and also blog entries, i know it irritates you that ppl may think just cuz you work you cant be a good mom... but ive never read an entry by you badmouthing ure lil one.. you are so gentle towards ure lil one... and so understanding and one can just see taht ure girl is ure priority.
let ppl talk.. dont let it get to you.
hugs
awww that was really sweet khawateen.. Thanks for that.. Made my day
Something that just occurred to me.. well awhile ago.
Why is it thought that a women who works.. lets rephrase that, a mother who works... her priority is not raising her children?
can the two not go hand in hand?
it really depends from woman to woman, i think. those who are in the job just for the heck of it are the ones that can concentrate on their children. but the ambitious ones are the ones who keep raising their children on the back burner. i have seen several of that kind.