Have you ever been the target of any racism in your life? Has it actually affected your quality of life?
Today, for the first time in my life, I feel truly, genuinely, disadvantaged because of my ethnicity and it is making me want to pick up my family move back to Pakistan eventhough I’ve grown up in the US. Let’s just say, that after a HUGE accomplishment in my career, the director of my program “forgot” to send out the confirmation email (sent institute wide on a regular basis) that basically establishes: a. the outcome was a success and b. highlights the person’s name for the whole institute to congratulate. This email is historically sent out on the very day of the completion of this major milestone. Never in the past years, has the director “forgotten” or delayed for any reason the drafting of this email. Its almost as if, on the day of your college graduation, you discover that the dean of your school “forgot” to sign your diploma. No biggie, you still graduate, but you just don’t get to walk in the procession and accept your signed copy of the diploma. Its not such a big deal, until you realize that you are the ONLY person out of thousands for whom the dean “forgot”. It hurts.
Moreso, it makes me worry about my kids. Are their teachers going to purposely create additional roadblocks for them throughout school life just to make sure they are not outsmarting the white kids?
I’ve never felt like this in my entire life. Am I overreacting to what could be a genuine mistake? I’ve always felt this distant coldness from my director. The town I live in is predominantly white. Some even consider us part of the “bible belt”…I think the name is sufficient to give you an idea of why I’m feeling this. My husband and I are sure we want to move away to a larger city in teh upcoming years before my kids start school, but I’m just amazed and surprised at the nagging annoying feeling of hatred I feel right now for this man. ugh!
Um, how on earth do you know that it was because you're Pakistani/South Asian? Not one detail in your post indicates that your director dislikes you because of the colour of your skin so how did you arrive at the racism conclusion?
I know exactly how you feel. I am in the same position you are in. I started working for this company ever since I was in college and I worked hard. I proved myself over and over again. I have graduated with Honors in my field and have more than 5 internships with various companies and I chose the one I am currently with because I liked the type of work they did. After being in the company as a full-time for only six months, they hired like 2 other people and I was the only desi and they are white. They gave my work to them and started asking me to “File” or “Scan” things and made that my permanent job. I was furious and expressed my concern more than three times and finally they decided just to shut me up they will let me get trained on other important functions, well it lasted about a month and they took that away from me because they needed someone to do admin work for them. Alhumdiallah I have a degree in Finance from a reputable university and I have interned with big name companies and these new people they hired have no experience and are college grads just like me but they are given preference because all of them are white. While they are doing their normal day to day functions for what they went to school for, I am on my knees filing for the department. I am so hurt!! I have been waiting since September of last year hoping this would change but nothing, so I feel the pain you are in.
Have you ever been the target of any racism in your life? Has it actually affected your quality of life?
Today, for the first time in my life, I feel truly, genuinely, disadvantaged because of my ethnicity and it is making me want to pick up my family move back to Pakistan eventhough I've grown up in the US. Let's just say, that after a HUGE accomplishment in my career, the director of my program "forgot" to send out the confirmation email (sent institute wide on a regular basis) that basically establishes: a. the outcome was a success and b. highlights the person's name for the whole institute to congratulate. This email is historically sent out on the very day of the completion of this major milestone. Never in the past years, has the director "forgotten" or delayed for any reason the drafting of this email. Its almost as if, on the day of your college graduation, you discover that the dean of your school "forgot" to sign your diploma. No biggie, you still graduate, but you just don't get to walk in the procession and accept your signed copy of the diploma. Its not such a big deal, until you realize that you are the ONLY person out of thousands for whom the dean "forgot". It hurts.
Moreso, it makes me worry about my kids. Are their teachers going to purposely create additional roadblocks for them throughout school life just to make sure they are not outsmarting the white kids?
I've never felt like this in my entire life. Am I overreacting to what could be a genuine mistake? I've always felt this distant coldness from my director. The town I live in is predominantly white. Some even consider us part of the "bible belt"...I think the name is sufficient to give you an idea of why I'm feeling this. My husband and I are sure we want to move away to a larger city in teh upcoming years before my kids start school, but I'm just amazed and surprised at the nagging annoying feeling of hatred I feel right now for this man. ugh!
PKgrl: While I have sympathy for your situation.....what makes you think that you've being discriminated against b/c you're Pakistani? Is the ENTIRE school white? Or are there students of other background (black, hispanic, asian, Indian, Arab etc.) in your class?
Are there other desi students (Pakistani, Indian, Bangladeshi etc) who are walking during graduation? Are you the ONLY Pakistani in the entire graduating class?
And to answer your question....no, I've never felt that I was being discriminated against in school or at work due to my background (and I grew up in the South).
Also, how did any of your teachers or this dean create additional roadblocks for you in school? Because in my humble opinion, not being able to walk across the stage really doesn't count as a "roadblock" for your future success. You're still getting the degree with the grades you earned. It's not like you're going to write on your resume that you didn't walk across stage. While the situation still sucks......you were not prevented from earning the degree and nothing has been done that hurts your chances for future employment.
The not walking across the stage to get your diploma was just an analogy to demonstrate a more relatable situation for everyone.
I have absolutely no proof or reason to think it is because of my race. However, there is no other reason that exists for him to forget specifically in my case. This is exactly why I asked on here, because I myself have never felt any sort of discrimination during my schooling and work in the past. I have always been recognized adn appreciated for my work by everyone. But its just this one time I felt, purposefully neglected and I wanted to see if its a common experience for pakistani people living in more southern areas of US or if I'm genuinely being paranoid.
I am born and raised “The Bible Belt” in the Southern US. My parents have been here since the very early 1970’s, and I’ve never, ever been discriminated against either in school or professionally as an adult.
That being said, sorry you are feeling slighted, and I’m not discounting it doesn’t happen, but without concrete proof, don’t worry that it’s happening. You should follow the advice of sending a polite email inquiry about the slip up. Nothing more, nothing less.
And this notion of not being discriminated against in Pakistan, or moving back there…idealistically might sound good but we know all to well the reality of wahaan ke haaalat :no:
OP, if there's still time...can you talk to a "higher-up" and try rectifying this? Heck, even if there isn't time...you should complain to the appropriate department. Whether it was discrimination or forgetfulness or oversight.....either way it wasn't professional. And either way...it could hopefully lead to greater monitoring of the procedure in the future. What message does not doing anything send? Discrimination and other forms of unprofessional behavior (carelessness, dishonesty, etc) are bad enough, but passivity is no better...it enables problems.
I am sorry for what you went through. I am not in a Southern state but when my dad came here way back in the day ('71)...he did experience some racism. Not a ton but it did happen from time to time.
However...lets be honest here. Where on earth will you live where there won't be any issues? Even if you go to Pakistan, does that mean racism won't follow you? Sunni vs Shia? Punjabi vs Urdu speaking? UP valay versus Delhi valay?
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger...this should motivate you to do even better.
I have absolutely no proof or reason to think it is because of my race. However, there is no other reason **that exists for him to forget **specifically in my case.
People make mistakes. Things slip through the crack in the "system" more often than you think. If the dean has never given you a reason to think that he has something against Pakistanis......then there is no reason for you to think that you're being specifically targeted for your race. Also, do you know for a FACT that you are the only person this has happend to this year? Do you know for a FACT that this has NEVER happened to any white students in previous years?
I don't doubt that there are Pakistanis out there who experience discrimination. But in your specific situation, based on what you've shared so far......there is nothing to indicate that this was a malicious act due to your race.
People make mistakes. Things slip through the crack in the "system" more often than you think. If the dean has never given you a reason to think that he has something against Pakistanis......then there is no reason for you to think that you're being specifically targeted for your race. Also, do you know for a FACT that you are the only person this has happend to this year? Do you know for a FACT that this has NEVER happened to any white students in previous years?
I don't doubt that there are Pakistanis out there who experience discrimination. But in your specific situation, based on what you've shared so far......there is nothing to indicate that this was a malicious act due to your race.
I totally agree with this. I had a friend of mine who used to scream racism if somebody cut the line in a shopping complex. I guess when you live in another country it becomes a ready made excuse to hide your failures. I am not saying that is the situation here, but have seen this happen with many of my friends. I had a friend of mine who screamed racism when he was overlooked for promotion. Years later I got a chance to work with him and his work was real shoddy. It is easy to relate anything to racism so that you dont look bad.
In this specific case, the dean might have genuinely forgotten or might not have been impressed with pkgrl000 for whatever reason. I think this matter should be taken up with him and effort to be made to understand the genuine reason rather than to scream racism.
I grew up in the deep south, parents been here since the 70s as well and never really felt discrimination. It was probably because I lived in a fairly educated town. For college, I went to a large state school however, and since there was such a wide range of students from very small towns I have been more aware of it existing. I was in a sorority in college, a "white" one, so to speak (Panhellenic) and at functions and such events there were times when the only "people of color" were me and a girl of Korean descent. The south has its flaws, but I feel it has come a long way. Discrimination can be felt anywhere you go, in the south I guess it's just easier to find.
You know I never felt it living in Canada but since moving to the US, I have noticed the drastic difference in attitudes towards people of race in my city. There was a time I was driving out of a target and a man on his bike started screaming at me as he was coming towards me and I was pulling out of the parking lot, I had my eye on traffic so I until I saw him and rolled down my window he was yelling dumb dirty paki and ******* Arab along with other things to me! No reason but because he thought I was in his way of the sidewalk when I wasn't! I didn't place the sidewalk there where cars are supposed to be driving out from, and he happened to be riding his bike on! I was so upset as that had never ever happened to me living in Canada, and I grew up around the French! Their openly racists but never experienced that till I came here. I am so used to people being familiar with and understanding my background but over here you definitely don't feel that same sense of multiculturalism and acceptance.
Ok guys she didn't experience this in her college. That was just an example she was giving. It happened at her workplace.
I lived in a small town in south for years before moving to a big city. I really haven't ever felt racism living in south. Went to university, worked. Even if there is racism there, where isn't. Living in a big city, ask my husband how much racism he has to out up with because he isn't from a specific background
If you are on speaking terms with your director, why don't you just say ' I am so excited about my findings/< insert accomplishment > and am looking forward to your newsletter/email to share the news with everyone.
If he forgot it, it is a gracious way to remind him, if he did it purposely, it is still a nice way to remind and if he forgets out another time you can send a friendly reminder via email. Harder to forget when you see something in writing.