R.e.s.p.e.c.t

Lifestyle Relationships
1

No, im not going to start singing the song, but that seemed like the best title. :slight_smile:

How does a woman, any woman regardless of religion, age, culture, locality…etc gain or deserve respect?

My daddi believes that married women are respected more than single women. She oftern tells me the reason being, that married women have a man to protect them and that society will accept anything a married woman does or says due to the reasoning that she is married. I oftern wonder if married women with children also get the same amount of respect, surly being a mother, giving birth and the abilty to get pregnant and raise a child deserves the same amount of respect, however, i tend not to discuss this with my daddi as she usually tells me to shut up and finish eating my roti at this point. I don’t know why but roti time always allows me the opportunity to disucss such issues with my daddi, mainly as the TV is switched off and shes not watching ARY or Zee Tv.

Now, what exaclty in your opinion gives cause to respect a woman? (i’d like to think females will reply as much as males)

Is it a woman who is married?

A woman who is coverd via means of Hijab etc?

A woman who who is able to support herself via means of employment?

A woman who looks good and says nothing?

A woman who knows hwo to speak up when needed and respects herself?

I could go on and on but refuse too as theres too many types of women in the world :stuck_out_tongue:

Another thought that always crosses my mind is that the notion that when a woman is single she does not deserve respect of any kind, especially by other women, specifically those who are married themselves. Why do you think this is?

Should we not respect men and women equally, married or not, just for the sake that men and women are created by Allah?

Note to the people who love to stalk any of my previous threads, i have never stated that men are “pigs” and anytime that i have stated that i hate men is due from my own personal experience with certain male family members. I like to think that i respect every individual to the extent that they respect me, whether this individual be a man or woman.

P.S I’d love for a male member of this forum to produce a male version of this thread, just to balance things out a little, i would myself, but seeing as im not married i dont think it would be taken too seriously :stuck_out_tongue:

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Respect is usually earned. I can't just respect someone simply cause they were created by God. Sure, everybody deserves respect to some extent, but if they are being rude or disrespectful themselves, then how am I supposed to respect them? That's why I say that true respect is usually earned over a period of time, and it's a two-way process. Give and take. :p

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But how does a woman "earn" respect? How does a man "earn" respect?

What must men and women do in order to be respected? For women, im told they have to be married?? you agree?

For a man...i really couldn't say as im not a man and as for respecting a man... i guess if he brought me shoes i'd love him.

ok seriously, i would respect any man on the basis of how they respected themselves, and i don't mean in the physical sense or how much money he earns, what job he has, the car he drives...etc He has to treat others how he himself would like to be treated. Same applies for respecting a woman.

4

Same way a man earns respect.

  1. Their daily dealings with other people. How they intereact, how they come across to others.

  2. Honesty

  3. Every other virtue. Too many to list 'em all.

:)

Being married has nothing to do with it. I think its one of those things that most desis say, but they don't even really believe.

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Desi women have no respect for most of their lives, this is their way of reasoning for it and/or getting their own back

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[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by PyariCgudia: *
Same way a man earns respect.

  1. Their daily dealings with other people. How they intereact, how they come across to others.

  2. Honesty

  3. Every other virtue. Too many to list 'em all.

:)

Being married has nothing to do with it. I think its one of those things that most desis say, but they don't even really believe.
[/QUOTE]

But my daddi does believe it as do so many other people (men and women) and not just desi's, please don't restrict your replies to just desi women and respect.

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yr daddi is very right.........but from a very different perpective than yrs.......a womans repect is not her doing....its not one of those "mai kuch kar kai dikhaaoon toa mai respect kai qabil hoon" thing......in that respect, respect is barely about 'earning repsect'...............its all about 'acting like respectable people' do......and respectable is not a word defined by yr morally right deeds.....its defined by social privileges that u are able to enjoy whilst remaining on the right side of society..... make any sense?

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makes total sense and thats exaclty what my daddi says. But why can't single women be respected, just for the sake that they are also women if nothing else?

'acting like respectable people'
do only married women act respectable? does this mean that when married women were single they were acting disrespectifully? what is so disrespectful about being singe?

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well thats cuz respect is a privilege........and beleive it or not, marriage is the biggest 'privilege' for a woman, in a male-dominated society.......what respectable ppl do, is not what 'deserves respect' but just act out their privileges......see 'acting respectable' is a socially defined termed, not a morally defined one

10

I think alot of people feel more comfortable with women once they are married....and perhaps some mistake that comfort for respect.... But I dont think that is the only case for respecting women..and I am sure your Dadi doesnt have that simplistic a view...perhaps she is over emphasising to make a point about the need to get married.. Alot of grandmothers/mothers are known for that kinda stuff..

There is no answer to what you are asking...because everyone respects something different in a person...you and I could respect the SAME PERSON for completely different reasons... I can tell you I respect someone but I can not ask you or force you to respect that person...can I??

I have never been a believer in the earning of respect... I think that its an instant reaction...Im not saying it happens as soon as you meet someone....perhaps you have known that person forever or have recently met them...it doesnt matter...Respect happens in an instance... You just realize that you ahve found soemthing in that person worthy of respect... The "earning of respect" in my mind conjures images of some fakely attempting to gain credibility....

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thats very interesting Gummybear, i like your reasoning. Obviously no one can make someone respect anyone, no matter how hard you try, im not saying that people should or shouldnt be respected. I just want to know what a woman must do to be respected...in a sense, some people do feel respect is earned.

Why aint any men replied as of yet? Do you really not have an opinion on why one should respect a woman?

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I can use PCGs analogy of "all men are pigs" and an animal comes to mind which starts with a b and ends with h. This should sum up respect but I wont since it is simply not true.

MehnazQ is right Respect in general is earned.
My respect for my wife increased when I saw my first son delivered (natural birth), needless to say that it increased with every other consecutive pregnancy. The way she takes care of our kids increases my love and her stock in respect part increases. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't go for another wife :D More help around the house, keeps the competition going and keeps my bed warm.

I think (you can check with Daaddi Amma) What she means is that with marriage comes certain responsibilities plus the woman matures hence the respect.
On the same token when I was not married and dating various "do-sheezas" I didnt have respect for women folk and all women were the B animal mentioned above.

So your Daddo wins this bout. Now ask you Daddo What about the same Married woman as wife #2?

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Verizon i get what your saying and understood completly, on some level i understand and may even agree with my daddi and her views on this respect buisness.

However, im still a little confused, what if a woman who is single finds herself in a situation where she has as much responsibilty as a married woman, minus the husband of course. Can a single woman never gain or does not deserve respect purely on the basis that she is not married? Can a single woman not be mature? I do not agree that all married women are mature, some of the stories i could tell regarding my sister-in-laws and aunties will tell otherwise.