my husband nani have 3 sons but none of them and their wives is ready to look after her as she is suffering from dementia…well so my husband mom took the stand to look after her but instead of she looking after her own mom herself she except me and her son to look after her mom (my husband nani)…well my husband mom is in pakistan atm and due to not getting the visa she have to stay more longer in pakistan…so me and my husband looks after nani…my husband give her nani bath which gets me embarrassed alotss…so now my question is my husband mum called me and said to me to remove her mom unwanted hair (pubic hairs)…i said i cant coz she doesnt come in my control so she told me to ask my husband to do it..which i didnt find approciate she saying tht…according to islam as far as i know its her responsible more to look after her mom instead of me and my husband she can give her mom bath herself but no she doesnt do tht even when she was here and i am sure she will still depend on me and my husband to clean her mom up and give her a shower when she is back from pakistan
so my question is…IS is ok if my husband give his nani a shower or clean her pubic hair…what does islam say about this..?
and second question is…Is it true tht if we dont clean and old people pubic hairs and if they die we get the sin…?
would be helpful if you response to thi anwer soon
Sister, Allah will give you lots of ajar for doing what you and your husband are doing. Its a very tough situation you guys are in.
Let me give you a simple answer from Hanfi Fiqh (people can argue but I am going to stand behind that)
Doing purdah (cover of sharamgah) of an adult body from another is Fardh (obligation), cleaning unwanted hair is Sunnah. Fardh prevails Sunnah. So it is not necessary for your husband (or you) to remove your nani's hair.
Its the same as circumcision. Hanfi maslak says that if an adult male accept Islam, then the only perons who can perform circumcision for him are either himself or his wife. Otherwise there is no sin on him for not doing that
When a person dies and people give him/her bath (ghusal) even at that time they are not allowed to uncover the dead person's private parts. When they give ghusal to a dead body they cover the private parts with a towel or other cloth and use their hands under the towel to clean the private parts. Even though they are cleaning the private parts under the towel still they are not allowed to touch the very sensitive (very private parts, I do not want to say the exact name) with their hands. They are supose to use paper towel or other means to just clean off filth.
So in MY OPINION(based on the above mentioning) your hubby should not do what your saas (mother in law) has told you.
Get an aesthetician to give her a Brazilian waxing.
Only kidding, I agree with everyone else leave it au-naturel, one of the older members (PD) once said pubes are good for trapping the pheromones.
Sorry I couldn’t resist, tauba astaghferullah.
It’s necessary to remove the pubic and armpit hair regularly in our religion for hygiene reasons but you have a good excuse not to if you can’t control her and there is no other female around.
PS. You’re doing something very praiseworthy by taking care of your hubby’s grandma and Allaah will reward you for it.