This might seem really stupid, but, wondering about the issue of visiting someone’s grave. i would appreciate it please if serious answers only were posted. Muchas gracias. A long time back i read somewhere that the soul of the person whose grave you are visiting, is able to see and understand the people who have come to pay respects at his/her grave. i read this somewhere a long time back and unfortunately don’t remember its source. According to Islam, is this accurate?
Second question (it gets increasingly more stupid) - what if you are visiting an individual’s grave who did not know you when he or she was alive; let’s say as an example i visit the grave of an elder relative who passed away a few years before i was even born, so never knew who i am. i know it doesn’t make sense but - when i am at his or her grave, does he or she know who i am?
Imam Bukhari has recorded a Hadith of Sayyidatuna Umm Atiyya (Radhiallaahu
Anha) that she said, 'We were prohibited from following the Janaaza, i.e.
until the graveyard.' (Bukhari Hadith No.1278; See Fathul Baari vol.3
pg.187)
Imam Tirmidhi (RA) has recorded a Hadith of Sayyiduna Abu Hurayra
(Radhiallaahu Anhu) that Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) has
mentioned, 'May Allah Ta'ala curse women who visits the graves.' Imaam
Tirmidhi has graded this Hadith as Sahih - authentic (Sunan Tirmidhi vol.1
pg.203)
A similar narration is recorded by Imaam Abu Dawud on the authority of
Sayyiduna Abdullah ibn Abbaas (Radhiallaahu Anhu).
However, many of the scholars are of the opinion that the above law has been
obliterated by the following narration recorded by Imaam Muslim in his Sahih
on the authority of Sayyiduna Abdullah ibn Mas'ood (Radhiallaahu Anhu) that
Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) mentioned, 'I had prevented you
from visiting the grave, (as of now) you all should visit it for it reminds
one of the Aakhirat.' (Sahih Muslim)
Based on this, the previous law mentioned above was abrogated. Hence, the
permissibility of visiting the graveyard includes males and females.
However, the reason for prohibiting females from visiting graves is due to
our corrupted environment wherein women who do not adhere to the laws of
Hijaab and hence strange men are attracted towards them. Therefore, it is
not permissible for young females to visit the graveyard.
However, if the laws of the Shariah (Hijaab, intermingling, crying, etc.)
are not violated then the prohibition may be set aside. Since generally the
women visiting the graves are not free from the above aspects, they should
refrain from doing so.
If a female visits the grave to remember death and soften without crying .
there is nothing wrong if they are old. It is Makrooh (not permissible) if
they are young (Shaami vol. 1 p. 665 - Maajidiyya) See Umdatul Qaari vol.8
pg.69
Thank you very much for your response, Fadi, as well as for listing the sources. i appreciate your taking the time to write it out.
From the Understanding Islam website: Even though there is a narrative ascribed to the Prophet (pbuh) reported in Tirmidhi, according to which the Prophet (pbuh) is reported to have condemned women visiting the graveyard, yet Muslim scholars have generally interpreted the directive implied in this narrative as one of a temporary nature. The implied restriction was later removed. It seems that the temporary restriction was imposed to allow women the time to unlearn the condemnable traditions of the pre-Islamic times, when women would wail in the graveyards. This wailing of the women is against the spirit and values of the Islamic teachings and was, therefore, not approved by the Prophet (pbuh).
The Shar’ah does not hinder women from visiting the graves of their dead relatives. They may go the graveyards and pray for their deceased relatives in a composed and controlled manner.
My queries were more specifically i think regarding what happens at the gravesite itself, when one visits the grave of a deceased person. Does the rooh/soul know who has visited his or her grave? If the person visiting was born subsequent to the individual’s death, does the deceased’s soul still know who that person is, who’s visiting that grave? i know these may appear as very silly questions, and perhaps they are, but they are kind of important to me. Would appreciate any insight on this with accurate references listed, from anyone. With all my thanks in advance,
nadia