Masha’Allah.
I tell you these two guys are so sweet and oh such loving daddies, all googly eyed (if there’s such a term) over their little princesses that I just had to start a thread to ask all of you to ask them questions on what it takes to be a daddy!
I’ll start,
aahmed, do you think you can handle 2 kids?
Shikra, will you cry at your daughter’s wedding?
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Re: Questions for Papa aahmed & papa shikra
main maha ka wedding dress decide karoon ge:snooty:
Re: Questions for Papa aahmed & papa shikra
me too, Niksik and Penguin. did you ever go to bolton's? it is a good store with nice bargains.
A thread for us :D
I don't cry easily and have not cried in a very long time, but I do believe that I will cry at my daughter's wedding, the tears of joy and also sadness that she won't be before my eyes 24/7.
You guys are already making the plans 
Let me first enjoy a few years with her 
You too, Dushi jee?
Re: Questions for Papa aahmed & papa shikra
aww what a cute thread :D
iam gonna go think of a question then come back :@: :D
Re: Questions for Papa aahmed & papa shikra
hmm i dono where do u guys live, but incase if u live outside pakistan, do u ever get worried that ur kids r gona turn out to be white washed or western wannabe's???
is yes, why?
and if no, why?
Re: Questions for Papa aahmed & papa shikra
Before I answer, let me just say this: Aahmed, please don't be offended by my explanation below because that is not my intention.
**Eco: **I live in USA. I don't think that my kids will turn out to be white washed. I guess the reason would be that our family is really closely attached to the culture. I am not saying that other families aren't and my family is the only family or it's the best family on the face of the earth. What I mean is that Alhamdulillah Maha's grandparents are alive and live close by. They will make sure that she keeps in touch with her culture. In addition, I will make sure that she'll respect her roots and will adhere to her culture and her identity, to where her parents come from.
I believe if you are attached with your kids from the childhood, it really matters. I have seen desi parents "telling" there kids what to do and what not to do. They don't expect their kids to ask "why". They simply want things done. In our case, I won't force her to do anything against her wishes where she does it for my sake, not for her own sake. I will put the right and wrong in front of her but I will equip her with the tools that she will need to make the right judgement. Again, what kind of friends you have also matters and how much freedom you have also matters. I've seen desi parents blindly trusting their kids and spoiling them and really feeling proud when they acted like gorey. But when the same kids grew up and started treating their parents like gorey do, it wasn't funny anymore. And I don't mean to say all gorey are bad and don't ahere to their culture or good habits.
I hope I made sense.
Re: Questions for Papa aahmed & papa shikra
^^^ mostly yeah
u talked about culture, but wat about religion? or u think culture and religion go hand by hand? cuz m concerned more about religion
Re: Questions for Papa aahmed & papa shikra
For the most part, our culture and religion go hand in hand. However, there are many things that are done as "Muslims" but they are not in Islam. i.e. lots of jahaiz, fazool rasams, etc. etc. etc.
Talking about religion only, the plan is to put my kids in Islamic school for as long as possible. Soon there's going to be the first Islamic school that goes up to grade 12. The hope is that the foundation of their lives is good so that whey they grow old (beyond teenage years), they know the difference between right and wrong (religiously speaking). Of course some religious education will be done at home as well. Then there are many resources online, as the future generation will be even more tech savvy. i.e. if they don't read the printed version of Quran like myself, they can read it online with translation as I do.
Hope this is the kind of answer (details) you had in mind.
Re: Questions for Papa aahmed & papa shikra
Niksik, wow, that's quite the vote of confidence. It is yet to be determined how good a father, if at all, I am. Inshallah, God is the best planner, but still, you're very sweet.
OK, answer 1, I think one of the qualities of a good father, or good human is to know his limitations. Right now, we are going through what everyone tells us is the toughest part of parenting, we are all new to it and we are all learning about each other. If someone were to ask me today if I wanted a second child, and you just did Nikky, I would say, uhm no thanks, I'm getting a vasectomy. However, I am told that in a few months, people tend to really forget the tough parts and that is why people keep having more children. I am open to a second child, but right now, it feels like it would be impossible. Essentially, right now is not the best time to ask someone if they want a second child, that's how I feel at least.
Shikra, you did not offend me at all. I agree with what you've said completely. I will add that I plan to have my child take the best from both worlds, I think that there are some excellent qualities in the average person of the west, I think if we can raise her to adopt the best values from the east and the west, we would be very happy. In fact, my wife demands that I talk to Lila only in Urdu, it is very important to steff that Lila learn the language and be very much part of the eastern culture.
Re: Questions for Papa aahmed & papa shikra
Ahmed and shikra, here's a Q (tho i can have an idea of what you'll answer), but if you have sons, will u be more likely to grant them freedoms than to your daughters, i.e., be typical desi dads?
Re: Questions for Papa aahmed & papa shikra
^ Great plan! Being bilingual never hurts, it's always an advantage! She will not feel "I don't belong here" when she goes to cultural/religious functions. And you are right, an average/educated/balanced person of the west can be a great source to each someone best of the western world. I wasn't born in the US, but I came to the US when I was 14 and I've learned a lot and I've picked up a lot of good things of the American culture.
And let me help make you feel better about having additional children. :D
Maha is about 2 months old now (will be on the 18th). The first 3 weeks were very tough when she would be up EVERY THREE HOURS for her feeding. That's at least TWICE during night. It really used to annoy me even though I wasn't the one getting up to feed her, but I used to lose my sleep and then I would be sleepy all day at work (after 2 weeks of paternity leave). At that time, I had decided: NO MORE KIDS! I DON'T KNOW HOW PEOPLE HAVE MORE THAN 1 CHILD!
Now that tough part is over. Now when we feed her aroud 10 or so at night, the next time she wakes up is around 5-6 in the morning, which is a lot better than twice every night! I have completely forgotten the old times when we would be up 2-3 times each night. So you are right, I agree with you when you say we'll forget this. I am speaking from experience. In a month, you will forget about the hardships of these days. I strictly believe that's a special blessing from Allah to his people that they forget the hardships and look forward to and enjoy the good times.
So in a year or so, I will probably be going through this same time, WILLINGLY :D
Ahmed and shikra, here's a Q (tho i can have an idea of what you'll answer), but if you have sons, will u be more likely to grant them freedoms than to your daughters, i.e., be typical desi dads?
NO!
I believe this is the reason why daughters distant themselves from parents because they feel like all the restrictions are for them because they are girls. Boys, on the other hand, go roam around freely and whatever they do, parents ignore it by saying "oh they are just being boys". If I have a son inshallah, he is going to have to face same restrictions and curfews. ESPECIALLY when his sister will be older than him and she will feel frustrated when her YOUNGER brother can do whatever he wants while she cannot. In fact, I think I'll have tougher restrictions for the son because boys in most cases are not as mature as girls, so he'll more likely cause me more headaches than his sister, so I'll have to keep a close eye on him :D
Re: Questions for Papa aahmed & papa shikra
aww you gys are just so cute 
he'll more likely cause me more headaches than his sister, so I'll have to keep a close eye on him :D
like father like son? :D
Re: Questions for Papa aahmed & papa shikra
Exactly because I've seen myself in my young days :whistling
For the most part, our culture and religion go hand in hand. However, there are many things that are done as "Muslims" but they are not in Islam. i.e. lots of jahaiz, fazool rasams, etc. etc. etc.
Talking about religion only, the plan is to put my kids in Islamic school for as long as possible. Soon there's going to be the first Islamic school that goes up to grade 12. The hope is that the foundation of their lives is good so that whey they grow old (beyond teenage years), they know the difference between right and wrong (religiously speaking). Of course some religious education will be done at home as well. Then there are many resources online, as the future generation will be even more tech savvy. i.e. if they don't read the printed version of Quran like myself, they can read it online with translation as I do.
Hope this is the kind of answer (details) you had in mind.
no brother i wasnt looking for any particual answer, i was just intrested that wat ppl do to make there kids good muslims living abroad.
thanks very much for the reply, may allah bless ya and ur kids. ameen
