Im annoyed at how our culture works.
Theres a guy, whose divorced twice, first time he wed in secret, girls parents found out, beat the hell outta him, second time, he had an affair with the brides sister…yeap. hes of badd character, he swears/disrespects his parents, etc and basically no one in their right mind who know them would give them their daughter.hes had countless affairs and disresepcts women.
anyway so they asked everyones single daughters for rishtas and those who know them say no. they then ask another family who dont know him so well. that family asks us all.as in all the elders.
im shocked to hear my uncles and aunts saying haan teek hai larka, achi job hai…
wtf. why cant people tell the truth. allah na kare, it happens to our own daughters, and people lie to us and tell us the boy is fine, we get them married off, ruining our daughters lives. do these people not have their own daughters. the girls father asked around and when i asked my mil why couldnt they tell the truth about this boy, she said aisi nahi hota, u cant bad mouth someome…excuse me.
this all makes me worried for my own daughter, when its my turn to ask around.
Re: Questions asked when thinking of saying yes to a rishta!DESIIS
the thinking is...yhou dont' rat out your family to outsiders...blood's thicker than water...whcih is fine except in situations like this...they forget that its a religious obligation to tell the truth when someone asks you.regarding marriage purposes.
anyways if htey do this.....and another girls' life is ruined...well karma will get them for sure...
Re: Questions asked when thinking of saying yes to a rishta!DESIIS
How do you "wed in secret"? And the girls parents found out and beat the crap out of him? What you typed isn't clear. Are you saying that both the guy and the girl wed in secret? If so....isn't the girl partly at fault as well?
I can understand that sometimes you don't find out about things until after the wedding (even if you did an investigation). But what's even MORE annoying.....is when people go ahead and agree to a marriage when they're fully aware of things/conditions about the rishta that they find unacceptable or difficult to handle.
Re: Questions asked when thinking of saying yes to a rishta!DESIIS
rv- as in both girl and guy ran off to get married. the girl probly did get beat up too, i dont knw.
and its different when the guy girl themselves say yes to a marriage AWARE of everything, its disgusting when elders are asking elders, about a guy, and everyone says haan acha hai, the poor father and daughter are unaware of the boys history and personality.
Re: Questions asked when thinking of saying yes to a rishta!DESIIS
rv- as in both girl and guy ran off to get married. the girl probly did get beat up too, i dont knw.
and its different when the guy girl themselves say yes to a marriage AWARE of everything, its disgusting when elders are asking elders, about a guy, and everyone says haan acha hai, the poor father and daughter are unaware of the boys history and personality.
Re: Questions asked when thinking of saying yes to a rishta!DESIIS
That's what I meant, Nadz. That if the girl ran away to get married behind her parents' back...then it shouldn't only be the guy's "character" that should be attacked. She shoulda used her brain and therefore deserves some of the blame.
What I meant was that some might argue that if one complains about their marriage after being fully aware of what they were getting into....may garner less sympathy than one who did their investigation but found out unsavoury things after the wedding.
Re: Questions asked when thinking of saying yes to a rishta!DESIIS
Argh.
I just hateee such people who can be so careless with out people's lives. If you don't have the balls to stay the truth, then kindly shut your mouth and atleast don't lie. Though i believe staying quiet on issues where your silence can damage somebodys life is also a crime.
But you know what, alot of girls parents are ok with getting their daughters married to divorced men and no not for the reason that it can happen to anyone or that they feel the guy was at right but mostly only cuz the guy is loaded and that is all that matters. **** man!
Re: Questions asked when thinking of saying yes to a rishta!DESIIS
These days in the strife of finding good rishte I've noticed that people are getting jealous over "good rishte" ... so much that they will not point a good rishta forward to anyone ... worse they will point bad or average rishte out to people. They want all the goodies to stay available for their turn I bet ... but that is so sad that we have become so selfish.
Important lesson:
If you are girl seeking a rishta don't ask a family for their reference about potential rishte when their daughters are still available they will find it hard to be sincere. Likewise if you are a boy looking and you have a good rishta coming don't ask the family whose sons are still waiting to be married ... although I believe this is a lesser problem than the former.
Re: Questions asked when thinking of saying yes to a rishta!DESIIS
Important lesson:
If you are girl seeking a rishta don't ask a family for their reference about potential rishte when their daughters are still available they will find it hard to be sincere. Likewise if you are a boy looking and you have a good rishta coming don't ask the family whose sons are still waiting to be married ... although I believe this is a lesser problem than the former.
oh believe me, even if none of their daughter/son r left to be married, some people still wl have jealousy issues. this is lack of imaan, they forget that what is to be theirs wl be no matter how hard the other person try to snatch it from them.
