My inquisitive 4 year old is asking me non-stop questions about death these days
Do we have to die?
Why do we have to die?
What do we do when we die?
How can we not die…
when do people die?
when will i die??will it be today or tomorrow
He knows that my nan passed a couple fo years back and wants to know if she will be there?
will Allah be there?
do people die with shoes on or off???aah he has to many weird questions
Its’ must too much and i don’t know how to answer his questions without scaring him so i just keep fobbing him off…but he keeps remembering and starts his whole sequence of questions again, which usually begin with ‘but why’ and end with ‘but why’???
how can i deal with this tactfully, without scaring the living daylights out of my little boy.
The closest my daughter has come around this concept is when her babysitter died. She loved that lady so so much and all of a sudden she fell ill and within a matter of days, she was gone. So we all went to their house to pay our respects and my 5 year old at the time, was very puzzled. She was quiet but I sensed this terrible emotion in her. So eventually she asked me where aunty was and I told her she’s with Allah mian. So that led to a series of questions about why one goes to Allah, will I go to Allah and all that. So I patiently told her that when she’s a bit older she’d understand.
Anyway, a few months later, she was back at the babysitter’s home where another relative was going to be watching my girls. One evening, my daughter tells me, “mom I know what happened to that aunty. She died. We all must die one day you know. I understand.”
SO my husband and I just looked at each other and I guess that’s that.
At school yesterday we were talking about coping with change and I asked the children what they thought we couldnt change about our lives. I even introduced the word 'inevitable' (brave me). One of the 5 year olds replied ' well, we can't change the fact that we are going to die can we now'. So another one piped up ' yes, is that what is called 'inevitable' Miss Milly?'.
I think children know more than we give them credit for. Why not read a childrens book about death and then maybees it might lead to a conversation where you can explain it properly to your child. One book that I have read to children in past is called 'Goodbye Mog'. Its about a family cat that dies.
