question...

Lifestyle Relationships
1

ok, with this post i mean no offense to anyone. I am a girl before people get all defensive. this post isn’t a joke, its an honest question…

With my friends all starting to get married, etc. and one with a kid on the way-of course i’m thinking ill probly go soon too. And along with marriage come kids. I want my own babies very much, and id love them no matter what. But when we talk about it, i always say i want 2 boys and that’s it. everyone always gets horrified and admonishes me. but my reasoning isn’t that girls are worth any less than boys, and i wouldn’t love a girl child any less. Its just that i feel like boys are easier to handle, and there is less worrying b/c of things like getting raped etc. I also see my relationship wiht my mother and me and my sister compared to her relationship with my brothers. I know i have no say so in any of this, and any child from Allah (SWT) would be a most welcome gift. Your opinions on this plz?

2

boys get raped too :slight_smile: .. lekin i know what u r getting at.. parents usually dont worry about boys as much as they worry about girls.. lekin beti rehmat too.. imagine how much fun wud it be to doll her up :kiss:
worries to phir bhee rahay gee.. cuz thats part of life :slight_smile:
with boys u wil be worried about.. his peers.. the type of friends he has… etc

3

aaw behna…aap ki shadi…judayee…:teary1:

kheyr.. well to be honest u can’t decide how many, and what gender. no matter how advanced science becomes. that is the matter handled by Allah. and i say leave it to Him. your child, will be Allah’s creation, and Allah won’t want anything bad for His creation. right.

so if it is a boy, or a girl my dua is that Allah will protect her/him.

plus…mayn hon naa…bachon ka mamo :soldier:

4

lolz :hehe: @ bachu k mamo!

5

I think you got it all wrong 714.

A girl is always raped by a man. And that man can be your son. So, would you not feel the same embarrassment and torture if your son commits such a crime?.

Girl Power!

PS. I am a guy.

6

no! desiphobia :frowning: i know you are right. and i’m all about women’s rights-if u knew me u’d know that. the rape wasn’t the whole issue, it was just a side thing-and if my daughter (inshallah this will never ever happen!) was to get raped, i would never blame it on her-but i can’t even imagine the person pain and humiliation of it all…"Now, the problem with desis is that they just keep whining about daughters being a BHOJE and Parayee ghar ki amanat crap. I say educate your daughters and they will turn out to be better than the sons. " I COMPLETELY agree. I just feel boys seem like they would be easier to raise. Like i said, i wouldn’t love a daughter ANY less. I’m not sure exactly why i feel the way I do, but i know it has nothing to do with ladkiyan being inferior, etc. As a girl, i feel like it would’ve been easier in certain aspects of life had i been a guy (and i’m very feminine nonetheless :Pretty: )

suroor-u are also right :slight_smile:

dt-judaai…hmm…aap ki bhi hojayagi ek din na? lekin behna to behna hi raygi. :slight_smile: anyways, i know that i have no sayso, and i think at this point just to teach me a lesson, Allah will give me many girls :hehe:

i’m not saying the way i feel is right, and above all else, i would want my kids to be healthy and good. lekin…i don’t know…i’m not exactly sure as to why i feel this way, i just think on the whole, in the end, boys are easier to deal with.

(;)and kya karoon mein? i only like boys names-i already have them picked out! ehh, girls names not so much.)

i appreciate ur respnses everyone, i hope people keep replying.

7

for me.......i will be happy with whatever allah gives me........i mean my wife, which is the same thing as giving me :D anyway........all i want is that i just want my son to be older than my daughter so he can take care of her and protect her. if a girl is older, she has a lot of responsibilities and there are a lot of hardships in her way. whereas if the boy is older than the girl, she feels secured when she steps out because she knows there is always someone on her back who will always protect her.

8

From watching parents around me, as I was growing up... I think that whatever the sex of your child, it's still going to take tons of hard-work and unconditional love to raise them. Each sex has it's own worries and pitfals that you'll need to be wary of, so overall I don't think that one is easier than the other.

All I can really say is that whether you have a boy or a girl, I have never met one parent who has regretted the experience.

9

chalo behna…utho…khawab dekhna chordo..abhi tumharay khelnay koodnay kay din hayn…:hehe:..tum to aysa keh rahi ho jaysay mayra bhanjay/bhanjyan aik do maheenon mayn anay walay hayn…abhi is ki fikar choro..aur parhai karo…mayray bhi hissay ki parhai tum nay karni hay :hehe:

aur yaar…i like girls names naa :blush: to mujh say poochlayna girls names…:wink: ok

10

:slight_smile: “With my friends all starting to get married, etc. and one with a kid on the way-of course i’m thinking ill probly go soon too.”

11

lagta hay is baar ghur ki trip pay kuch hua hay…:bummer:

12

:D nope abhi to me khelri hoon or koodri hoon :D waise is baare meine bahut socha hai, to maine ka ke aur kahan intne opinions millenge...

13

to khoob khelo…koodho…
aur is baray mayn zyada naa socho…jo hoga Allah accha hi karayga :k:

14

I have to agree with you 714, that I would prefer to have boys as well. Not to say that if I have girls, I wouldn't love them as much, I'd love them the same, and be just as happy. But like you said, it's the worry factor in this day and age with regards to girls. I guess one could say that I"m biased, as I've lived my life with only brothers, and no sisters.

15

i have both :D they are all younger. i love them all to death. out of all of us, the best at everything is my sister, mashallah. she's so wonderful. i love the twins just as much. Its just...while both genders most definitely have pros/cons i feel like boys would suit a personality like mine better...

16

Well in my experience my son was easier to care for. He thrived and ate well. While he was in the hospital he ate a whole 4 ounces bottle.

Daughter didn't thrive nearly as well.. she ate about 2 onces before I took her home. I would have to feed her every 4 hours vrs son slept all night long ...the very first day he was home with me. (about 24 hours old.)

He always made me laugh. ( I remember him saying to my daughter..quit crabbing..lol)

He was really cute. I remember really cute things he said.

My daughter kinda got a little crabby on occasion.

But I know, he adored her. Sometimes he crawled into bed with her. He followed her around, and if he didn't like what her friends said..he would say something.

I adore her to. She is so sweet, smart and giving. I don't know what I would do without her. She is definately my daughter.

Unfortunately son died when he was 3 years. 9 months. and 22 days old.

We were packing to go to the country, and he got in the car, played around, and it started rolling, and he jumped out and got ran over by that old car parked in front of the house. There were no keys in it. It was just a cheap old car. I had just bought a new car with child-locks, etc. but we didn't want to take that car to the country on the rocky roads.

So I know it was my fault. I don't know if I can ever forgive myself.

I'm so glad I read him a story the night before he died. I could have so easily been to tired and lazy to..and just made him go to bed, but I didin't.

I laughed so hard one time he said.. (after he started preschool)
"mom, stupid isn't a bad word..but **** is."

And you know? Every January 22nd I smell lilacs. (It's my favorite flower.) And I think? Its a sign telling me that he is in Gods hands.

AvgGirl

17

AAG-:teary3: i can’t even begin to imagine the pain of your loss. I am soooo sorry. :kiss: & BIG :hug: i hope all else goes well. :frowning: and sweetheart, how could even begin to be your fault? it was an accident, an ACCIDENT. no matter how much u try or think to, u can’t keep an eye 24 hrs. and how were u to know that the car would do that? i really really am so sorry. :flower2: :flower1:

18

Dear 714:

An alive and perfectly healthy baby, when born into this world is such a great blessing from Allah ta'lah ,irrespective of gender. you would realize this fact when you wud come across those suffering parents whose babies unfortunately could not survive or are not healthy enuogh like normal kids :-(

Fate is already decided by Allah for each individual.So i guess we should be thankful to Allah Mian for a healthy baby wether its a boy or a gal and should not worry too much unnecessarily :)

19

any baby, boy or girl, is a gift from God :)

20

Thanks 714.

And the bad word he said wasn't the F word, in case the **** made you think that.

He used to go to my neighbors and kick the trash can a couple times... not knock it over..but knowing they knew he was there..

And then he would say "Hey Joan...Ya got any pie?"

He liked my neighbor. And especially her baking skills.

One time he said "Don't worry about me.. I'm taking care of myself." as he was off trying to make friends at McDonalds... some kids were having a party there..we just stopped for lunch.

He said to me the day he died. "Mom I'm going to heaven."

I said, "Patrick?" Where did you get that idea? he said, "God told me."