hi all,
ok i don’t know how to dealt with this.. and really need some advice
so i have some family friends.. rather as i call them friends of the parents.. not my own.. and i unfortunately “added” them to facebook back when there was no limited profile setting.
now i have other people on facebook- coworkers, family, my friends, and it seems like these friends of the parents tend to read into everything.. if someone posts a joke they will bring it up at the next family gathering, if someone is posting something silly they bring that up. and half that stuff is all jokes, but nothing like bad.. for example.. my status said “enjoying starbucks” and someone commented ’ “yup that means ur on a high” and these friends of the parents at the very next party sat there and were like .. what did so and so mean by yup that means ur on a high.. and i keep thinking.. why the hell are you reading all that crap.. and the best part is that they bring it up in front of the aunties (or as i call them .. desi tmz) and then you know the aunties.. gossip mill.
so i went back and limited all their profile so they could not see my wall, next party one of them asked in front of his mom.. why did you block me from the ur wall on fb.. i wanted to wish u happy birthday, and then his mom was like “yes beti are you trying to hide something.. why did you block my bata” and i was like .. ohh i don’t have a wall anymoree.. too much time.. i hardly ever use fb… the next day.. this aunty sends me a friend request.. (Yea like i am ever gonna add her) and then she called to do what i call a post- dawat analysis.. come on u all know how that goes.. its like watching joan rivers critique dressed on award shows.. where one aunty calls another and discusses everything from how well or not well the khana was cooked what everyone was wearing the latest gossip, etc. so i unfortunately picked up the phone and this aunty was like “ohh beti i send you friendship request on fb, please mujdse add karna” and i was thinking “ohhhhhhhhhhh HELLLLL NO,” and i was like aunty acutally i reset my password and don’t remember it, and she’s like its ok.. make a new profile and add me.
Since then i have completely deactivated my facebook.. al together.. i feel bad for the people who acutally use it to stay in touch with me, but i don’t know what to do? any suggesttions?
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ohh and as much as i want to.. tell them all to f off.. not an option.
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just create seperate facebook profiles.
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why are they so intrigued by ur life? do they not already have enough to gossip about? like "usne kya pehna hoowa tha.. bilkul acha colour nahin tha.. "u know that type of crap?
seriously, dont worry about giving them excuses. Just dont add them.. simple. U shouldnt have to delete ur profile.....
should be a learning curve for u neways.... best not to post too much of ur life on the net.. never know whose reading that stuff and what they'll do with it
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better yet... why dont u say something like this about the darling better... "so {insert name}, i saw those pics of u with that girl... wink wink... have u told ur mum yet?"
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social networking = openness = not compatible with most of the so-called cultural/religious fundamentals !
create a seperate profile or put these "friends" in restricted list (no photos, no showing of status messages .. etc etc..) - it's good that facebook provide such a good privacy tools - learn to use them !
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***Create a separate Facebook for Friends and work and keep the current one for "aunty jee'z" and just update it randomly to keep them "satisfied".....and stick to i'm too busy for fb motto !
Shift all ur other contacts to ur new fb ID and remove them completely from the current one !
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thanks all..
i laughed at this because its soooo true…
social networking = openness = not compatible with most of the so-called cultural/religious fundamentals !
sadzzz- yea but really why should i hide things like that.. i mean the people that write this stuff are my own friends, and its all in fun .. its acutally funny because a friend of mine added one of the girls.. and there’s a guy who rides our train ride that wears like neon orange suits that looks like johnny lever, and i wrote.. “aww darn, came in to work early, missed seeing johnny lever,” muy friend commented: i saw him, now my day is completed… this girl actually told my friends MOM.. that my friend was in love with a guy named johnny lever.. and my friend is married!!! her mom is like okkkkk, (then her mom gossipped about the family friend), and sadzz also these kids have pictures on their facebooks that would have their parents like beatting them up if they saw them.. and urright i should bring it up next time like “ohh nice profile picture, whose the blonde chick with you?”
^You shouldn't have to hide something that's perfectly innocent. But that's not the world we live in. Instead, a lot of us, due to cultural issues, live in a world where every little thing - innocent though it may be - is discussed, dissected, and interpreted, usually negatively in a very public setting.
That's reality. So you have two choices. You can keep using facebook. You can even set up a separate account with limited access. But understand this...the problem you have right now probably won't go away. Even if you create a separate profile with limited access to only certain people, someone at some point will see something and bring it up, usually in a way that's uncomfortable for you. The more you post of your life online, the more chances you are creating for it to be seen and become public.
The other choice is to simply stop using FB or not posting stuff on there AT ALL. No pictures, no status updates, erase wall messages ASAP...use it only to keep in touch with people using the private messaging. I can't tell you the number of times I've seen/heard of people lose rishtas, get into trouble with their spouse, be the butt of gossip, even lose jobs over something they "innocently" posted on FB or similar sites. I really wish I were exaggerating right now, but I'm not.
And hey...there is one more choice. You can keep your account, post what you want with limited access, and just grow a thicker skin when people open their mouths and stupid things come out.
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yeah like everyone said jsut create a separate account for aunties ...
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i also do hav a similar issue....i would just say make another profile and add only people you want to...!!!
just create seperate facebook profiles.
Yup. That's the best solution.
But it really amazes me how some people r so dheet...they keep saying add me add me without understanding that the other person may not be comfortable with that idea. Dufferz!!!
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This is EXACTLY why i dont add family on my facebook. They are retarded and read too much into it. Simply dont add them, why shud u not hav a bloody facebook coz of these people they have NO lives?!?! Get your facebook back. Dont add them, if they say add me bla bla, jus say str8 up NO!. They are pathetic, and God knows why these auntys and uncles need facebook.
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Create a separate profile for people who can handle normalcy.
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oh never bring friends and family together on any social networking site...it really becomes a PROBLEM
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I deleted everyone on my fb acct. I just can't stand it!
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I only add people (from friends/relatives) who I think have enough understanding and have same living style (or same web presence) as myself.
I only add people (from friends/relatives) who I think have enough understanding and have same living style (or same web presence) as myself.
i added everyone, i just organize them in list and according to list's give them access to content !
i added everyone, i just organize them in list and according to list's give them access to content !
too much work for me just for me. FB or other networks are not lifeline for me and I can pull the plug whenever I want to :)
too much work for me just for me. FB or other networks are not lifeline for me and I can pull the plug whenever I want to :)
yup i understand that, but services like Facebook Connect which let you login to other sites with facebook login/pass is gaining momentum - washpost, wsj ... Csmonitor, yahoo .. already added this. So the future is: Facebook will become the central hub for all of your virtual life's ..