Re: Question to Rishta Work In Process - Girls
hmm it really depends, so one of friend goes after the pictures first like she really cares about the looks. But in my opinion compatibility matters more than sharing the pictures so case 1 is better.
Re: Question to Rishta Work In Process - Girls
We can agree to disagree then.
Re: Question to Rishta Work In Process - Girls
Case 1 is better.
When Elders/parents of both sides talk chances are proposal which was going to be rejected in a straight photo sharing session now after getting to know each other creates a more valuable proposition.
In many cases people accept the rishta because of the family background.
The photo sharing session is purely a game of aesthetics I don’t even call that a respectful way of choosing your life partner.
Re: Question to Rishta Work In Process - Girls
what do you mean valuable proposition? Its like, well, look son/daughter, our families have put so much time and effort that even if you are not attracted to her, you should still marry him/her. (I am talking no attraction here, of course a normal person would compromise if there is slight attraction considering all boxes check)
Re: Question to Rishta Work In Process - Girls
Marriage in our culture is not merely finding someone you find attractive it’s way more than that.
In desi families people agree on things they don’t totally like just because all the other things that come with it are valuable to them.
I can give you some examples.
1- A situation where the girl is super rich chances are after getting to know each other the guy would say yes even though he doesn’t like the girl very much and vice versa.
2- A situation where guy is super educated chances are the girl’s family would say yes considering he has a bright future though he belongs to a not that well of family background as compared to the girls and vice versa.
3- A situation where guy would say yes after knowing the fact that the girl is not super cute looking but is a very good Muslim and has done some Islamic studies and knows Islam very well and is a practicing Muslim and vice versa.
There can be 100 other examples like this.
If they won’t talk (both families) and get to know each other and what’s their background the decision that would be made would be totally fictional I would say.
People who go for only attraction most of the time never actually have a good married life. Things like family background, education, religious background and many other things matter as well.
So getting to know each other increases the weight of a proposal I believe in either case.
Re: Question to Rishta Work In Process - Girls
Some sort of attraction is important at least, here in the west. Here, the guy as well as the girl have pretty much final say in the decision. If she didn’t have any sort of attraction, I don’t believe she would say yes.
i know in pind, there maybe marriages among cousin due to financial reason, or whatever but I am not talking about those. Even child marriages happen in some part of pakistan but no one is talking about that.
And no one is saying go ONLY for attraction. But you are making marriage seem like a deal without any substance which would make it happy/worthwhile
Re: Question to Rishta Work In Process - Girls
I’m not advocating way of having a successful marriage. Those are some things that happen.
And it’s funny how quickly you separated west and called Pakistan a place where stupid things happen.
Let me show you some real facts.
I have seen a lot of weddings in my life where the family was from the west and they chose a guy/girl from Pakistan. You wanna know why?
There were many reasons in all of the cases but more prominent ones are;
1- The girl/guy was super ugly and the guy/girl was seeking a visa.
2- The girl slept with someone got pregnant had abortion and parents now decided to marry her with a Pakistani guy.
3- Guy was on drugs and parents decided to find a Pakistani wife.
4- Family couldn’t find a reasonable guy from the west who wouldn’t divorce her in a year or two.
5- The girl got married to a guy from the west and got divorced in just first 1-2 years and then the family decided to look for a groom in Pakistan.
6- Guy married a gori had kids and the white girl divorced him and now he’s looking for a wife from Pakistan.
7- Family preferred Pakistani bride/groom so they could control stuff.
8- Girl got married had kids got divorced and family now accepting proposals from Pakistan.
9- Guy been in west from forever and had been playing with women there now realizes they not worth it and decides to seek proposals from Pakistan.
10- Family seeks a Pakistani proposal because they want the children to be more humanly civilized and obey their parents later on.
I can go on really.
So please don’t tell me what’s going on in the west. You’re only talking about phase 1 and I’m talking about phase 2 and phase 3 as well.
And I’ve seen many cases where a desi western woman married a guy just for his wealth.
And I’ve seen many cases where a desi western guy married a girl just because her father was a big businessman.
And I’ve seen many cases in the west where cousins got married exactly like how happens in pind of Pakistan.
So what you talking about here really? 
To answer your question more accurately not every western guy or girl prefers the looks or have control on their wedding decision you need to travel more.
Marriage is a social contract/deal when it comes to definition. And the 10 examples I gave you are enough substance I believe.
So in conclusion, I never meant that people don’t go for attraction, of course they do but that’s not the only deciding factor even though you might find it like that but sometimes people say yes to a proposal because they find many other things interesting to them and they don’t really show that.
Re: Question to Rishta Work In Process - Girls
i refuse to read because its too long … tired -__-
Edit: I read the whole thing somehow, you missed my point. Too exhausted to reply now, probably after a nap