what things a girl should consider before marrying a pakistani guy, living in Pakistan?
she definitely don’t mind him marrying her for her foreign citizenship. she also dont mind if he also wants to bring in his parents.
as far as his education goes, he is educated…i think she told me he did MBA. and in terms of looks he is also good looking. in fact she says his entire family is.
guy family dont belong to bl00dy rich family, but they are well off.
as far as his attitude part, she says he is quite fun-loving. and as much she also knows he is quite shareef.
she dont know whether he is 5 times namazi or not.
since girl didnt bother to look for any one in her school-uni life so she cant actually marry anyone here.
so my concern is what she should be looking in a pakistani guy living in pakistan? and what should be her expectations? and what he will be expecting from her if they get married?
No one can answer this question better than herself. We don't know him or his family, so how can we suggest if there's something fishy about them or not?
If your friend thinks they're a nice family and he's a nice guy then go for it.
My sis got married last year. My brother-in-law's family is not crazy rich, in fact they don't even live in a city, they live in a gaon.. My brother-in-law however lives in a different city where he works. He is Mashallah very educated, he's got 3 degrees and is currently working as an engineer and as the head of the HR department in the same company in Pakistan. He's quite religious and quite shy but really really nice. (I forgot to mention he isn't from our family i.e. outside of khandaan) ... even though we didn't know the family beforehand, we really didn't have any doubts about their intentions..
We knew my brother-in-law was a very nice man, very educated and successful, and his family was really sweet too.. so there was no worrying over citizenship or anything like that... You know what I'm saying? ... The answer to the question you asked can really be best answered by your friend depending on how much she knows about him and his family.
All I can tell you is that we have no regrets over marrying my sis to a dude from Pakistan... she is living a happy life Alhumdulillah in Pakistan.
No generic answer for any of the questions you posed i.e. expectations and what to be expecting. If she finds herself compatible with him, is happy and within this guy, sees someone who she can spend her life with, then that should be more important than going on the say so of others.
what things a girl should consider before marrying a pakistani guy, living in Pakistan?
*she definitely don't mind him marrying her for her foreign citizenship. she also dont mind if he also wants to bring in his parents.
*
As a parent myself, we also pondering the same issue. I may be too much paranoid but here is my take:-
The biggest problem is adjustment issue, the girls brought up outside (no matter how religious or well groomed) they have gone through different type of life experience, due to environment, education, which would to 180% different to a guy borne and raised in typical family in Pakistan. This would certainly create difference and friction between two persons or with his family.
Given the quality of life, and security concern in Pakistan, one could not rule out possibility of future migration for sake of children. To that i have noticed unless a good professional degree coupled with sold professional experience, given the general quality of education the guy must have degree in from a reputable university otherwise he would have problem getting a job oversea.
I have seen a fellow Pakistani, married daughter to a nice gentlemen in Pakistan, and the guy with so called MBA is useless here, and he ended up jobless for past two years. And sad thing is normally guys ashamed to stay home, but prolonged time of staying home made him immune to that feeling, and now happily staying at home and living on wife's earning.
Well its different for every one.Case to case.If she likes him and the couple wana live abroad then no problem.One can alwayz study more to improve the chances of findind emplyment.So good luck.....!
**The biggest problem is adjustment issue, the girls brought up outside (no matter how religious or well groomed) they have gone through different type of life experience, due to environment, education, which would to 180% different to a guy borne and raised in typical family in Pakistan. This would certainly create difference and friction between two persons or with his family.
Where did he do his MBA from? Some people say they did MBA and it is nowhere near what a real MBA is....should be from reputable institution. Also what job skills does he have, is he working. Can those skills be applied to where she lives? Any scope of him earning here?
Aside from that, she needs to judge what is the family's personality like, especially the guy. They grew up in 2 different environments so be prepared for different mindsets...etc. It is not impossible, not all guys from paki are backwards...etc.
As far as expections, only she would know what her's are and needs to talk to the guy to know his upfront. Especially where they would live, etc.....and any concerns she may have....
Where did he do his MBA from? Some people say they did MBA and it is nowhere near what a real MBA is....should be from reputable institution. Also what job skills does he have, is he working. Can those skills be applied to where she lives? Any scope of him earning here?
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I was going to say the same thing.
One guy told me his wife did MBA from West Coast University. Turned out that this West Coast University is just a printing press kind of university which will give anybody a degree for 100 dollars.
Checkout medical , psychological , criminal background of the guy thoroughly , so many people lie and cheat for the sake of getting married to a girl in West.
I do not care about the financial status of the guy as he would have to start a fresh in the west if he is moving here.
Different kind of brought up may or may not matter. I know many ABCDs who got married to boys or girls from back home and they are living happily ever after.
Yes I also see not so many cases where ABCD and desi could not have understanding and ended up getting divorced.
well my friend did the istakhara, and she got color that were hinting her not to pursue this proposal. so she went for what ALLAH SWT has chosen for her, and tell her parents and sibs to politely reject the proposal.
she says she did the istakhara with open mind, even though she was quite interested in this proposal.
meanwhile, she decided to do investigation of her own on the guy by asking her friend in pakistan whose brother paid some clerk few rupees to look in to the guy. it turned out that the guy is a simple b.com. and been on the same post for more than 4 years. and still unable to track how many times did he got promoted. so now my friend, who is educated herself is really thanking ALLAH SWT that HE SWT saved her from this trap.
my friend now thinks that it is really important to know why guy didnt do MBA since its so easily to do in Pakistan?
and now she is urged me that dont blindly trust your parents and siblings. do the research yourself, especially if you are getting marrying to some pakistani guy. she says that western society is pretty robotic, and it demands a constant dedication and hardwork, where as in Pakistan no they get up at noon. so its for sure that it would be hard for the guy to adjust in this system. another thing she mentioned is even in canada there are so many b.coms, so if she ever wanted to settled for the simple b.com then why go to Pakistan, where b.com's are scattered everywhere.
she says that if you are marrying any guy from pakistan, its better if you ask them directly to send their certificates and degrees to you and then you can take his credentials to any education counsellor and find out how much his degree worth and is he gonna able to support and also able to maintain his status as you or your brother or your parents are having?
and if his credentials don't worth anything, then how much time is he gonna take to reform himself up to the western standards. if its more than a year, she says its really not a wise option to be considered. its better to remain bachelor than to buy yourself a wife....err she meant ghar-damad.
PCG is an authority on this matter. Please PM her :)
PS: zobia, if you need a PHD degree, please contact me. If you buy a PhD degree from me, I'll toss in any 2 diplomas of your choice absolutely free. Moral of the offer? Asking for credentials/degrees have 0 value unless you intent to verify those from issuing authority.
moral, and credentials has zero values, when you are directly asking ALLAH SWT for help. if he was honest, she would had gotten the right signals. :)
besides, she dont know the guy, how would she know about anyones morals. a 2 min meeting he had with his parents which is really not hard to mimic up to the level of perfection. so its good to rely on credentials as well.
she says that if you are marrying any guy from pakistan, its better if you ask them directly to send their certificates and degrees to you and then you can take his credentials to any education counsellor and find out how much his degree worth and is he gonna able to support and also able to maintain his status as you or your brother or your parents are having?
Please ensure when you ask the guy from Pakistan for copies of his degrees and medical certificates and anything else the ABCD community thinks off..you also send the guy in Pakistan the following:
Copies of the girls certificates.
Copies of the girls pictures without makeup.
Please ensure when you ask the guy from Pakistan for copies of his degrees and medical certificates and anything else the ABCD community thinks off..you also send the guy in Pakistan the following:
Copies of the girls certificates.
Copies of the girls pictures without makeup.
Good luck.
lol. its aint rocket science that after he provides her the credentials she is asking for, and finds that he is almost the one she is looking for. i dont think any girls would mind providing the info their any potential suitor is asking. :)
