this post is going to sound like a bunch of lame crap, but this is a serious question with the intent of learning more.
It has puzzled me off and on, and today while reading the advise to catwoman in her thread about being scared of shaadi it popped up again.
how valid is istikhara
what if you get different ‘guidance’
let me give you an example
if a guy and a girl like each other and they both do istikhara, one comes up positive and the other comes up negative..what would it mean, would there be a tie breaker? similar thing could be for a business partnership or for employment.
lets consider family A ,the boys and family B,the girls.In pakistani scenario of the middle class the girl is married n she goes to susraal to stay.for A the istikhara says 'go ahead,no problems' ,they get the girl,she is cutoff from her family and thats it.for B the answer is 'no,problems'.assuming she married anyways the girl has adjusted,not happy but not in a bad condition either,but misses her family ,family is ofcourse in pain.
Istikhara depends upon the 'objective' in the mind of one doing the istikhara,it is essential to have a clear objective.
Then who is doing the istikhara,istikhara by the girl for the query "will the marriage be good for me n me only" will be different from istikhara done by her mom with the query "idhar karna chahiye rishta keh nahin".
Difference
the girls query is clear,concise,closed ended.
the moms is broad,open ended,she may get a no for a thousand reasons which r not given in the response of istikhara but a simple no for the girl is quite clear.
istikhara doesnt come in a dream.
you are asking Allah if whatever it is, is good for you and your religion in this life and the next. if it is, May Allah make it easy for me, if not, then take it away from me and take me away from it.
so basicly put your trust in Allah. wich is the whole point in istikhara in the first place. be patient and see what happens. if the path to what you intended becomes difficult, then take this as a sign to it not being good for you.
and if all goes well and good...then inshAllah khair. may Allah bless it. Ameen.
And Allah knows best.
we plan and Allah plans and Allah is** best** of planners.
there is a big misconception amongst the muslims especially the pakistanis. This prayer is a prayer of guidance and when opne peforms this prayer he/she leaves the situation in the Hands of Allaah. ones mind should be clear and not focusing on the situtaion while doing isitkhara. ie. when i did my istikhara for the girl i wanted to marry i had to get her out of my head so its a sincere istikhara and the same with her. after a few times she felt content with me but i didnt feelk anythin. now that doesnt mean Allaah answered one and not the other. it is simply leaving it to Allaah(swt). after you have performed this du'aa and say for examply u did a dua for a girl u wanna marry. if after abit the marriage works out its because Allaah made it easy 4u and if it didnt that means that that person was not good for u so Allaah took that person away from u and u will be content insha'Allaah.
people expect a dream, that is not the case.
just have faith in Allaah and leave it to Him as he is the best of planners.
btw after my istikharaa even though i didnt feel anythin, Allaah(swt) made it easy 4 me and now im gettin married in August(whoo hooo)
so do du'aa Allaah(swt) blesses with me knowledge and a frutiful life and beautiful kids who will grow up to be Mujaahids!
there r various ways of response from ALLAH. sometimes its color eg green for good,sometimes whole events r ‘shown’,sometimes the future state like ‘stuck in a sandstorm’ or ‘moving up a mountain n finding a home which u enter n find a bowl of fruit which u eat’ is shown and sometimes no response in which case it is recommended to keep doing istikhara till the heart deviates towards a particular situation.and i am narrating the exact responses .and yeah congradulations.
yeh true, i was just saying that people rely on dreams and even a dream could be one from the devil so one must beware and be aware. btw i just realised i said more or less what "fear Allaah" said. im sorry!
On the question of istikhara, here are a few of my thoughts. Some of them may not be directly related to the question(s) raised in this thread.
First, istikhara should be done by the person who is facing the situation. Many times, people tend to head off to a maulvi sahab or a buzurg in the family to do the istikhara for them. While this may sound an easy way out, really, the best istikhara is done by the person him/her self.
Second, use your brains before you do istikhara. After you have done an intelligent analysis and are unable to decide, then consider istikhara. Many people make up their minds first, and then do istikhara to "reconfirm". And in many cases, they do whatever they want to do anyway, and often mis-read the signals. Reading the signals is very important, and often not easy.
Third, it is very possible, that you won't get any additional guidance from istikhara, in which case, the fallback is again... you guessed it ... your brains. You have to think your way out of the situation.
Lastly, you do istikhara for yourself. So if the boy gets a green signal and the girl gets a (really confirmed) red signal... she should run. Don't care for the boy and his green signal. He can care for himself.
And the very last point, please don't blame istikhara if you screw up later.
Why not? I am sure they can. And do. I know many cases, where proposals got rejected because "istikhara theek nahi aaya" on one side, while the other side had proposed only after getting "istikhara" done. Its not an exact science, you know. :)
Anyone who thinks that all istikharas will magically reveal the same results, is obviously smoking something really potent. However, this should not be taken to diminish the importance or validity of istikharas by those who really take this very seriously.
Why are you trying to figure it out with mathematics… i think suppose two ppl who want to marry do an istikhara… then if a boy is a sort of a liberal type of a person and the girl’s like to give more preference to the guidance of religion then for the boy the istikhara should be a green signal cuz that girl will surely leave some good impression on his personality and may change her to a lot better person and for the girl it should be to stay away cuz no matter how good she is, she will be in a bad company and man is known by the company he keeps… So it will surely change her some…
So you can think of many more cases like this where giving a same result to both parties will be inappropriate it will be a win win situation for one party and lose lose situation for other party
So as someone mentioned above i totally agree that you have to follow your own signal and not worry about the other person
x com cheetah, the post was intended to make people think a little more about istikhara rather then the posts I usuallys ee where someone posts some "beautiful" story, someone posts experiences of their khaloos parossi and then someone posts many hadeetha nd in the end you dont learn anything :)
tsk tsk fraudiyay how crude,so u make up ur mind before starting threads n just wait till u hear someone with ur thoughts,thats a very very wrong approach from someone as knowledgeable as u,plus its wasting peoples time who come here to discuss with a genuine intent of learning something,with this methodology of urs anybody can find anything.
second time i have seen u using this sentence in the last 15 days,quite a high n mighty approach ,i guess its a **noble approach *that u have appointed urself as a soldier of god to set things right,i dont wanna offend u but yaar u come here with ur mind made and that indicates that u ,in advance* , wont b even willing to consider anybody elses opinions.
