So this question has been simmering in my mind for quite a while…but before you ever had children did you ever think if you would be a good or bad parent?
as a parent…if this happened to you (I think it happens to everyone?) how do you deal with constant criticism (or what you perceive as cricism/judgment) of your parenting style? From close relatives to strangers questioning everything you do?
I have a feeling that mothers are usually more open to scrutiny than fathers are…
And for those who are going to become parents/trying to become parents…are you mentally preparing yourself for this aspect of parenthood? (Everyone judging and criticizing you)?
So this topic did not pop out of TLK VS HEERRANJHA fiasco.
Who will think before hand that they would be bad parent ? Unless they would like their kids to become bank robbers , mafia bosses , madams , pimps , serial killer etc.
In that case they will opt for home schooling of their kids as society still has to establish those schools where bad morals are taught.
Before I was a mother,I always used to wonder what kind of a parent I will be... keeping in view my personality flaws or traits I always wondered how I will raise a child and what my parenting style will be.
After I have become a mother,there are days or times when I have this fear what if I do something wrong...like what if I am not able to set up a good example for them to follow...or not able to answer any of their questions appropriately...stuff like that...
I wont say I have faced 'criticism' but on my recent trip to Pakistan I was given loads of suggestions.Some I liked some I did not...and it actually did not bother me.
hahahaha no it didn,t i was thinking about it for some time…just bad timing I guess?
I’m not sure I understand your statement…but I know I fear that I will not be a good parent, because I find myself short on patience or I am too sensitive , have a bad temper etc.
I just wonder if anyone else felt the same way before they had kids or if they ever thought of it?
I am not sure what others felt but I had certain fears myself...but the thing is that you evolve and grow with your kids.We had ours after quite a few years and had grown too used to to our way of life or independence if you wanna call it.But it all falls into place.Obviously you have to be mentally prepared to make changes and accept the addition of a dependent into your lives.
If anything,my daughter has taught me patience...!!...Believe me I was an impatient person but now I am amazed how relaxed I can be in situations I would have been a monster before...:D
Being a parent or deciding to become one is a huuuuge responsibility and I think it is ok to have fears and doubts...
so, I dunno, how do u deal with someone who always blames you or makes you feel at fault if your child is always sick? idk about you all but I've seen some people like this...who look "down" on the parent, whenever the child isn't feeling well, whether they have a minor cold or even a broken limb (ok that last one is pretty extreme example...but it happens!)
If a parent speaks up of his/her issue, be as a discussion or for seeking advice, I may share my 2 cents.
If a parent is not talking about it or could not recognize it, but something that might be a threat to the kid is going on, then I may speak up.
In neither case, I would imply that the person is a bad parent. We use the term so loosely, we cant even fathom what 'bad parents' actually means.
haha no seriously..i didn't.
So what is bad parenting then, in your opinion? I think there was a thread on it a lil while ago but..i mean what exactly sets apart parents who make mistakes and goof up..vs bad parents? Is it all about intention?
That’s an insult to homeschoolers and to parents, actually. Schools (specially in West) don’t teach morals, parents do. Just pick up a 2nd graders’ book and try looking for “morals”.
Unless they would like their kids to become bank robbers , mafia bosses , madams , pimps , serial killer etc.