my guy said** he wants me to work after marriage and he will get annoyed if i'm a housewife because it's a total waste** :) i was kind of surprised because his mom is a housewife so i thought he would prefer that. i'm glad he doesn't mind either way :)))
im sorry but these two statements in the same post are totally contradicting..he DOES mind..he wants u to work..not stay home..unless u mean he wants u to go to work all day and then come home and cook and clean-up..oh wow..wat fun..
Re: Question for men.
i dont want the yes sir attitude wali gharelo larki. if she wants to work she can i have no issues
Re: Question for men.
I ring true with Iconoclast here too ...
I would rather have a simple ghareloo larkee but one who is fully capable of being a working woman ... i.e. so that she can provide a good upbringing to the children. Not for deploying for work but if she opts to do so ... it could be worth it.
In short that is what I already have ... Alhumdulillah!
Re: Question for men.
I want a woman who can work, but that doesn't mean that she has to work.
I am a man, and an old fashioned one at that...so I would make enough to support her needs. If she has that work exposure, it means that she is someone who can stand up for herself and has the real life experiences.
I am not insulting homemakers here...they should be paid a million dollars for staying at home and keeping the family together.
one or two of each :halo:
seriously speaking, growing up I saw women in my fam ily who styaed home and those who worked and it seemed like it was more of an issue of personalities and how the marriage was. There were stay at home ladies whose homes were always a mess, and there were professionals whose homes were in order. Then there was my mom, a teacher who took time off while we were young and went back to teaching once the youngest was in school and we did not notice any difference in what we ate, cleanliness of the house, etc. we chipped in to help and my dad was very involved in taking care of the house as well.
Due to that I never equated the home life with a working professional really much different than that of a stay at home one. I just felt that someone who had her own life, interest, career etc would have a more fulfilling life overall.
best post u have ever written on GS 
lets start a global desi group to get support for our cause
great post…I have seen this in my life as well. My mom was also a teacher and there wasnt a time where she didnt have dinner freshly cooked (on most days) on the table at the same time everyday. The house was always clean and she made sure she spent ample time with us.
dunno what type of guys you run into, most couples I know the guys do help around the home, even if the wife is a full time stay at home one.
fair and lovely try karo. maybe its related to gora-pana
why is it baighairat for men to sit on ‘womens’ money as total baighairat, what does it make women who dont work and sit on ‘men’s’ money? :halo:
several millsion then for women who educate our kids as teachers, heal our families as doctors and nurses, help as lawyers and judges, and then come home and keep the family together.
Re: Question for men.
I want the one with two .....................................
............... eyes :)
Re: Question for men.
bari bari si .... ya like an elephant's
Re: Question for men.
Soni,
I'm watching you...you have some serious problem with MEN
Would you erase this gender if you could?
Re: Question for men.
My husband wants me to work, infact he tells me that I can go work full time, but I would rather not at the moment as my kid is still small, he sees no issue in it. He sometimes doesnt see the work I do at home/work/raising a kid ect…
Before marriage I was like I will work after marriage now I am double minded, its good to work and have your own pay, but then the freshness and restness gets neglected. I am sure I will look older in few years as my SILs who all are stay at home wivess and look so fresh..
But Mr Mirch, I am working half day, come home around 3 pm but my home and my kid and husband never gets neglected. I cook fresh every single day. I cook, clean, do the washing, ironing. One thing that I cannot change is my freshness that gets neglected. But I would rather have a nice place to live and some sort of career, if need I can work to suppor myself, as to spend time watching films/tv or doing facial or gossip all day.
Would you rather marry a simple ghareloo larkey or a working woman ? Why ? I married a simple ghareloo larkey because I wanted to feel like I am coming back home where some one is waiting for me all fresh and well rested. The reason for this decision was that ,before I got married,I used to live as a paying guest with a desi pakistani family. The home cooked meals were included in my rent by I would seldom get to eat home cooked meals because lady of the house used to work and would be too tired to cook anything. Many a time I heard the wife telling husband fridge main khana rakha hay garam kar kay kha lain. They both were very loving and caring but I knew she got tired working on full time basis. I get tired too by the time I come home from work so how could I expect my wife not to be tired if she worked on a full time basis. In Pakistan you can afford to have lots of domestic help if you both are working . Still Your wife will not be fresh and well rested and ready to welcome you with a broad smile. Am I wrong ?
I dun think anyone is rite or wrong. everyone has the rite to their opinion and likes and dislikes... and pursue it as well. if i were a guy, was earning very very well, not just well, i wud want a ghareylo wife too. but me being a girl, i can tell u i dun mind either way. rite now i have no kids and i m earning pretty well... i dun mind but after a baby, I am not very sure. another thing is, not many of our husbands are earning very well... i need to work to support my husband and also becus i get a gud paycheck at the end of the month. nothin more nothin less.... its not like i love my work and passionate abt it and all the nonsense. but i must say i love working becus i get treated nice. everyone is concerned aww she must b tired, how u do cookin cleanin etc... plus my hubby helps in cleaning etc when the guests come so i m cool.
if u want a ghareyloo wife only cus she will do all the housework and still manage to look pretty wen u come home, trust me, thaz not gonna work for more than 1 yr of marriage (i bet uve experienced it cus u mashallah have kids rite???). thats not practical and equally impossible. there will be many many days when she is not lookin her best!
in a nutshell... u rnt wrong... ure wrong only if ur wife persists she wanna work.. btw mirch, i have told u once in another post(about ur friend whose wife didnt like him to meet u) that you are v v lucky to have her... she really sounds like an angel... dun ever take her for granted!
One thing that I cannot change is my freshness that gets neglected. But I would rather have a nice place to live and some sort of career, if need I can work to suppor myself,
Your freshness is important to your husband , may be not to you, if he cannot find freshness at home he might start to look for it outside the home. Now don't start a war over it. It has happened many a times, I agree not all husbands will do that.
Now Supporting yourself , is it not duty of your husband to support you ? Since when a wife is required to support herself ?
Nice.
I stay at home with three kids and believe me the only time I get some rest is after 9 ‘o’ clock in the evening when three of them are asleep, after tidying all their mess.
Your freshness is important to your husband , may be not to you, if he cannot find freshness at home he might start to look for it outside the home. Now don't start a war over it. It has happened many a times, I agree not all husbands will do that.
Now Supporting yourself , is it not duty of your husband to support you ? Since when a wife is required to support herself ?
i m sure it matters to the hubies but it is a lil impractical request dun u think? after all, cleaning, cooking and taking care of children is not as easy as it sounds. just becus a wife dusnt look fresh or made up dusnt give a husband a right to look elsewhere. that dusnt make sense at all. i know men do that but in the end they realise what they are losing. have u watched film biwi no. 1 (sorry to given a filmy example but its so true), the wife is pretty looking but still he goes elsewhere. its just a lame excuse really. u men should think before you say u want a fresh lady.. here is a woman who is doin so much of work in house, sweating, running after kids... isnt it askin for too much that she shud b FFFFFREESH!???
im sorry but these two statements in the same post are totally contradicting..he DOES mind..he wants u to work..not stay home..unless u mean he wants u to go to work all day and then come home and cook and clean-up..oh wow..wat fun..
ok you need to chill with the sarcasm. i myself want to go to work and how is there going to be a mess if no one is home all day? his parents will be but they are mature enough not to be throwing food all over the place. as for cooking, the only meal he cares about is dinner and that takes 2 hours (max) to prepare. i'm done with teaching at 2 pm. I am pretty sure by 7 pm I can make a meal and be fresh or whatever. if inshAllah we have kids, then obviously i would have to stay at home...it's not practical for me to be standing at the chalkboard with an infant in my arms. but you know, people normally don't get pregnant right on their nikah date, so i think it would be more beneficial to society if i work in that time, rather than waiting 8 hours to cook salan for my hubby every night.
I btw mirch, i have told u once in another post(about ur friend whose wife didnt like him to meet u) that you are v v lucky to have her... she really sounds like an angel... dun ever take her for granted!
Thanks for the reminder I value my family more than any worldly thing. My kids , my wife are always center of my attention.
i m sure it matters to the hubies but it is a lil impractical request dun u think? after all, cleaning, cooking and taking care of children is not as easy as it sounds. just becus a wife dusnt look fresh or made up dusnt give a husband a right to look elsewhere. that dusnt make sense at all. i know men do that but in the end they realise what they are losing. have u watched film biwi no. 1 (sorry to given a filmy example but its so true), the wife is pretty looking but still he goes elsewhere. its just a lame excuse really. u men should think before you say u want a fresh lady.. here is a woman who is doin so much of work in house, sweating, running after kids... isnt it askin for too much that she shud b FFFFFREESH!???
I don't know how my wife manages to do all household chores and still look fresh and good, but she does. Trust me it is not because it in my eyes. I know the difference between a dirty home , tired wife , sick looking wife. May be she owns a jinn to help her out.
In another thread I have said that my wife has everything under control and still she gets time to watch TV , Sew stuff ( she is fond of sewing), Sometimes I come home and find the entire setup of a bedroom or living room or dining room was changed.
P.S: I will encourage her to write a book or start a TV program to teach her tips and tricks to others who cannot do it all. LOL.
I used to work full time before marriage and now work part time. My husband is ok with the fact that i can work full time but i disagree as this will not give me enough time to concentrate on the home chores. If i work full time, i know for sure that i will be too tired and will be neglecting house work.
Inshallah when we do have children, i will give them all the attention they need. Them and my husband will be my top priority. When they are bit older, i might consider going to work part time but i find that highly unlikely as i will be depriving them off attention of a mother. I want to be like my mum who gave us her utmost attention and looked after our needs - Inshallah.
Your freshness is important to your husband , may be not to you, if he cannot find freshness at home he might start to look for it outside the home. Now don't start a war over it. It has happened many a times, I agree not all husbands will do that.
Now Supporting yourself , is it not duty of your husband to support you ? Since when a wife is required to support herself ?
Mirch, sometimes freshness is not the first priority to a couple, being not fresh doesnt mean that one is ugly or old, freshness could be given back to one by a facial/message or a holiday. A husband can look outside out of many reasons, sometimes he doesnt even need a reason. So this is not valid to say a fresh wife garantees a husband who will not look outside.
As about supporting myself, I have been doing this from my adult years and its a habbit now, anyway its a support both way.
yeah, thats what i said too. freshness in no way guarantees loyalty… and as i said, its an impractical request too. gud for you mirch, your wife is fresh all the time but i agree with saadia that freshness can b derived from anything. if your wife is not that fresh, you can ignite the passion for a few days… go somewhere alone on a trip, go for dinners, do silly things etc. why would you want her to b fresh all the time really? besides… that… u know!
anyway men dont need any reason to cheat. khoobsorat se khoobsurat larki ke husbands “aankh matakka” (sorry such a corny word na? hehehe) se baaz nahi atay. why even bother hmp! 