Question for married men and women

[Desi_BeauTii]

Ok I have a question for all the married men of GS.

Is it normal to constantly ignore your wife’s phone calls or pick up and put her on hold when you are on your hourly lunch break, because you are conversating with your co-workers?

How about when you chilling with your friends, is it ok to ignore her calls, and than pick up after a few missed calls and immediately say “hold on” and continue with your conversation?

How about when you are at the super market and you run into a friend.

How about answering calls from employees that do not work in your department and refuse to reach out to their own supervisor because they feel that you provide better assistance, and doing this on your days off and advising them on how to handle their work issues when you are not getting paid for it?

How about when you are at the supermarket with her, and than you tell her to hold on whenever those people that you put her on hold for call you? Which delays your schedule and prevents your from finishing your errands each weekend.

I’m not referring to a few seconds or even a minute. I am referreing to 5 - 10 minutes on hold, 5-10 calls a day, everyday.

Another question is it normal for men to go somewhere for work, run errands, or discuss business matters with potentional partners, only to find that no work was accomplished, and being told that the work meeting was cut short, so they decided to go out and eat, drive around, meet up with friends, etc.

The reason why I am giving so many examples is, there is always an excuse for putting your wife on hold, whether she is with you or she is in front of you. There is always an excuse to proscrastinate on household errands, and go out to have a “business meeting” and come back home and have not accomplished any work. At this point don’t most women start to suspect that a man is cheating?

Women do you find this behavior acceptable? What do you think? Is this something that is normal and should be shrugged off or is the man up to something?

I am looking for honest opinions, feedback, and serious answers. I have few female friends that are complaining regarding this issue, is this something that women need to learn to accept, or are these women being taken advantage of?

I have never experienced this, so I don’t know how to advise.

[jaan_leva]

Re: Question for married men and women

Yeah, its normal.

[bellacullen]

Re: Question for married men and women

well m not married sorry but i dnt think its dat normal its ok if it happens two-3 times but evrytime

[sadzzz]

Re: Question for married men and women

nope never experienced such stuff. But i guess depends on what kind of work the man does.

If he really needs to make a good impresison with some clients or in the organisation, he might think its ok. But ALL the time… that’s a bit too much.

We try not to take work home with us. Its just a general rule.. we allow each other to discuss work for about 15-20 minutes.. get it out of the system and move on.. Plus, the kid doesnt allow us to discuss much else except for her.

[Sajalina]

@Desi_BeauTii

I’m not referring to a few seconds or even a minute. I am referreing to 5 - 10 minutes on hold, 5-10 calls a day, everyday.

A man who puts me on hold for 5-10 mins, I wouldn’t be calling him 5-10 times a day.

[Desi_BeauTii]

@Sajalina

A man who puts me on hold for 5-10 mins, I wouldn’t be calling him 5-10 times a day.

So I should tell her to stop calling him lol?

[X2]

@Desi_BeauTii

Ok I have a question for all the married men of GS.

Is it normal to constantly ignore your wife’s phone calls or pick up and put her on hold when you are on your hourly lunch break, because you are conversating with your co-workers?

How about when you chilling with your friends, is it ok to ignore her calls, and than pick up after a few missed calls and immediately say “hold on” and continue with your conversation?

How about when you are at the super market and you run into a friend.

How about answering calls from employees that do not work in your department and refuse to reach out to their own supervisor because they feel that you provide better assistance, and doing this on your days off and advising them on how to handle their work issues when you are not getting paid for it?

How about when you are at the supermarket with her, and than you tell her to hold on whenever those people that you put her on hold for call you? Which delays your schedule and prevents your from finishing your errands each weekend.

I’m not referring to a few seconds or even a minute. I am referreing to 5 - 10 minutes on hold, 5-10 calls a day, everyday.

Another question is it normal for men to go somewhere for work, run errands, or discuss business matters with potentional partners, only to find that no work was accomplished, and being told that the work meeting was cut short, so they decided to go out and eat, drive around, meet up with friends, etc.

The reason why I am giving so many examples is, there is always an excuse for putting your wife on hold, whether she is with you or she is in front of you. There is always an excuse to proscrastinate on household errands, and go out to have a “business meeting” and come back home and have not accomplished any work. At this point don’t most women start to suspect that a man is cheating?

Women do you find this behavior acceptable? What do you think? Is this something that is normal and should be shrugged off or is the man up to something?

I am looking for honest opinions, feedback, and serious answers. I have few female friends that are complaining regarding this issue, is this something that women need to learn to accept, or are these women being taken advantage of?

I have never experienced this, so I don’t know how to advise.

1a) on putting wife on hold- how often are they calling their husbands, what are they calling for, how long do they usually talk, if they get voicemail do they wait or do they keep calling back? lets get those answers for the ladies behavior to be able to put things in context.
1b) not answering phone, weak signal, did not hear it ring, was in the middle of a conversation..etc etc, all good reasons to not answer.

2. on helping employees that dont report to one- there is something called leadership, and the trait that you are helping others and they look up to you position you for advancement, which means the shopping that is being done in the supermarket can continue to be done

3. 5-10 minutes a day on hold, just tell the dude to call you back when he is free, dont sit on hold, problem solved

4a) 5-10 minutes he spends talking to colleagues- see #2
4b) 5-10 minutes out of a few hours the dude has at home, what assembly line are these ladies running at home that a 10 minute delay will destroy the fabric of civilization and humanity as we know it today? really
4c) if it happens while shopping, continue shopping or checkout and wait or call up someone yourself, we all have people we need to catch up with or do a better job staying in touch with and its found time, make use if it.

5. meeting for work and not much gets accomplished, its possible, some thing was not done, additional info was needed, etc etc, now at that point u have the option of just going home or spending time with business partners, sometimes non work time with business partners and colleagues is very valuable for relationship building.

so here is one perspective.

Now let me give you some advise you can pass on to the ladies, text the dude if it is something urgent or important, you dont know what discussions he is in at work, and work pays the bills.

if they discuss it and just say, could you just call me back as soon as possible after you saw that I called, and leave it at that, it would be easier on both.

lastly 5-10 calls a day? really? I mean really? my wife does not call me 10 times a week, some days its one somedays 2 somedays none, during school year when she is busy, maybe a call every other day, during summer when she is off maybe a call or two a day.

and text msgs are great, if i am in a meeting i cant answer the phone all the time or step out, if its a txt msg, I can still type a quick response, or if it is urgent, apologize to others and step out to talk.

PS: 5-10 calls a day..these ladies need to find some hobbies or take a class or something

[sadzzz]

Re: Question for married men and women

yeah.

Is it really important stuff that she’s calling about? can he be emailed or messaged instead?

[Sajalina]

@Desi_BeauTii

So I should tell her to stop calling him lol?

5-10 times a day? I know I wouldn’t call that many times.
She is not letting him miss her. No wonder he wants to put her on hold.

[Bint_e_Naeem]

Man is up to nothing but pleasing everyone else except his wife. He probably doesn’t even know that she is feeling this way.

Have a straight up talk with him & let him know how you feel about him putting you on “Hold” all the time.

If he was cheating, he wouldn’t be putting her on hold rather taking her calls all the time so she doesn’t get suspicious.

[jaan_leva]

Re: Question for married men and women

There is no reason to have a “talk” or “conference” over this issue. It will only cause rift and further useless arguments. He is at work or busy, let him work.

If you need to call him 10-15 times a day, keep him at home and hope that it pays the bills.

[Bint_e_Naeem]

These little “talks” are what keep a marital relationship alive & healthy. If something bothers, clear it right away.

[sadzzz]

@Bint_e_Naeem

Man is up to nothing but pleasing everyone else except his wife. He probably doesn’t even know that she is feeling this way.

Have a straight up talk with him & let him know how you feel about him putting you on “Hold” all the time.

If he was cheating, he wouldn’t be putting her on hold rather taking her calls all the time so she doesn’t get suspicious.

cheating? why would u even go there?

maybe just figure out how important the message is she needs to give to him.. if it can wait. Then wait.

I actually cant stop myself from discussing everything with the husband.. so ive had to teach myself to email or message if it’s that important. And if i call and he hangs up… it means he’s busy and no need to be offended.

Work is important… it’s not like someone has all day to sit and chat

[jaan_leva]

@Bint_e_Naeem

These little “talks” are what keep a marital relationship alive & healthy. If something bothers, clear it right away.

Its a meaningless talk… a waste of time. He is at WORK. Someone is PAYING him to be there, its NOT her time so she shouldn’t call him and expect to talk for hours. That time belongs to someone else, not her, not him. If that concept is hard to understand and requires a talk, be my guest but I assure you, it will only cause problems because woman is wrong here and when she finds that out it will turn into something ugly.

[X2]

@jaan_leva

There is no reason to have a “talk” or “conference” over this issue. It will only cause rift and further useless arguments. He is at work or busy, let him work.

If you need to call him 10-15 times a day, keep him at home and hope that it pays the bills.

chal oye it would be a gol mez conference with the extended family ..everyone in sherwanis and 3 piece suits and pags etc, zorr daar taqreerain hon gi, qarardaad paas ki jaye gi

..aap rok kyun rahay hain?

[Bint_e_Naeem]

@sadzzz

cheating? why would u even go there?

maybe just figure out how important the message is she needs to give to him.. if it can wait. Then wait.

I actually cant stop myself from discussing everything with the husband.. so ive had to teach myself to email or message if it’s that important. And if i call and he hangs up… it means he’s busy and no need to be offended.

Work is important… it’s not like someone has all day to sit and chat

If you read the thread carefully the OP mentioned something along these lines. My hubby does that to me sometimes. Not putting me on hold but just saying let me call you back & hanging up right away without even waiting for my response. I don’t get offended.

If it was me I wouldn’t be calling the guy 5-10 times. Woman gotta show some dignity too. Work is work & we both understand that & if anything text msgs & gmail zindabad.

[Bint_e_Naeem]

@jaan_leva

Its a meaningless talk… a waste of time. He is at WORK. Someone is PAYING him to be there, its NOT her time so she shouldn’t call him and expect to talk for hours. That time belongs to someone else, not her, not him. If that concept is hard to understand and requires a talk, be my guest but I assure you, it will only cause problems because woman is wrong here and when she finds that out it will turn into something ugly.

Woah! You are probably not married are you?

Me & my hubby “talk” all the time. Its just a conversation not an argument & almost 5 years & we have had only 2 fights & 3 loud arguments. You know why, coz we don’t keep things inside. Something bothers, you let your spouse know this is what’s happening & I am not liking it. Both try to figure out how to make it right & that’s it everyone is happy.

[Desi_BeauTii]

@jaan_leva

Its a meaningless talk… a waste of time. He is at WORK. Someone is PAYING him to be there, its NOT her time so she shouldn’t call him and expect to talk for hours. That time belongs to someone else, not her, not him. If that concept is hard to understand and requires a talk, be my guest but I assure you, it will only cause problems because woman is wrong here and when she finds that out it will turn into something ugly.

I am not referring to the work day. I am referring to unpaid lunches. That is not the companies time.

[jaan_leva]

Re: Question for married men and women

Even unpaid lunches are not her time, he is at work. He needs to eat and relax before going back to work so why bother him with gharailoo kitch kitch???

[Sara516]

Re: Question for married men and women

Are these women working or stay at home?