They are working on it right now. She is obviously very hurt by his actions, but she has 4 small kids (the youngest one is only a few months old!), and everyone is telling her to try to make it work now. She has never worked outside the house, she was only 18 when she got married (now over 30), and she home schools her kids. She feels like she needs the support of a husband, but she is having a hard time getting over his actions, which is completely understandable. They are not living together right now, but on speaking terms to try to make it work.
If I had children with the guy, my first priority would be them and for their sake I would try to work things out with him first. That doesnt mean stay in a loveless marriage...that means I would try to find the love so they could see a happy family.
I would go for marriage counseling and do my best to revive our marriage first before I would go the route of separation.
If his love for me has died...never to return again...then I would leave.
Why?
Because I dont think I could be a good mother if I was miserable.
If you husband tells you that he doesnt love you any more and he is in marriage just out of obligation. WHat will you do?
Would you leave him?
Would you stay in a loveless marriage?
I am in this situation right now and I'm still here.. Reading the reply's from others has confused me even more on what to do.. I don't know if I'm fortunate or not.. but when I look at my baby.. I would do anything for my child..
We fight when its his day off.. and when he is at work and comes home then everything is fine..
whenever we fight I do consider leaving him.. but then something holds me back..
He told me he is through with me and comparing other couples alll the time with us.. yesterday was even worse.. he told me i can keep my child and eveyrthing as long as i get out of his life.. when he's back to normal he doesn't say these things but there's still this tension between us.
When he's not angry he does say things like 'Im sick of this life. we can't live like this' but at the same time he won't accept his faults.. its always me..
I told him few times.. when you clap you use both your hands.. so the fight doesn't always start because of me.. but its always.. me in his eyes.. the worst thing is when we went to pakistan on holiday my in laws.. oh my god!!!! they would say things that didn't even happen and bang a fight between me and my husband. We fought so much in pakistan that its effecting everything now. Like when we fight he says 'you had problems with everyone in my family.. so do you mean to say you are right and the rest of the world is wrong' I don't know.. I just had a huge problem with his mother and sisters.. they always complained to him saying your wife this.. your wife that.. and in the end when I'd want to clear things up.. he'd blame me saying you're on holiday and let them say/do what they want.. just ignore it.. but its hard to ignore..
He told me he is through with me and comparing other couples alll the time with us.. yesterday was even worse.. he told me i can keep my child and eveyrthing as long as i get out of his life.. when he's back to normal he doesn't say these things but there's still this tension between us.
When he's not angry he does say things like 'Im sick of this life. we can't live like this' but at the same time he won't accept his faults.. its always me..
I told him few times.. when you clap you use both your hands.. so the fight doesn't always start because of me.. but its always.. me in his eyes.. the worst thing is when we went to pakistan on holiday my in laws.. oh my god!!!! they would say things that didn't even happen and bang a fight between me and my husband. We fought so much in pakistan that its effecting everything now. Like when we fight he says 'you had problems with everyone in my family.. so do you mean to say you are right and the rest of the world is wrong' I don't know.. I just had a huge problem with his mother and sisters.. they always complained to him saying your wife this.. your wife that.. and in the end when I'd want to clear things up.. he'd blame me saying you're on holiday and let them say/do what they want.. just ignore it.. but its hard to ignore..
Sadia I think you should listen to your husband and ignore your inlaws. You are not even living with them so let them say and do whatever they want ....when you complain to ur husband you both have a fight and by doing this you are just helping people to enable them to spoil your relationship ......
You both need counseling. Your husband is not thinking before saying what he is saying to you and offcourse you get hurt and then things get bitter between u two. You both need to control the words u use with each other.
Fights can happen in any relationship and they should not be a reason for ending a marriage. You take the 1st step in controlling the words you use with him and dont hurt him and when he says anything bad to you tell him tht u have an answer and can reply but u won't because it only makes things bad and you don't want to spoil ur marriage.
if he has any desire u save his marriage he will change too insha allah !
they would say things that didn't even happen and bang a fight between me and my husband. **We fought so much in pakistan that its effecting everything now. Like when we fight he says 'you had problems with everyone in my family.. so do you mean to say you are right and the rest of the world is wrong' I don't know.. I just had a huge problem with his mother and sisters.. they always complained to him saying your wife this.. your wife that..** and in the end when I'd want to clear things up.. he'd blame me saying you're on holiday and let them say/do what they want.. just ignore it.. but its hard to ignore..
this is how people try to ruin and break up marriages, be they in laws or whomever.... If your husband is too thick to see he's being played like that, then unfortunately the pressure is on you to realize that that's whats going on and you try not to let it come between you and your spouse.
