At what time during your wife’s pregnancy did you begin to feel like a real father-to-be?
It has been suggested that the feeling doesn’t quite hit home until the first time that men hold their baby in their arms after delivery. True or false?
Did you ever feel left out of the experience…like when your wife could feel the baby moving inside and you couldn’t?
Did you feel threatened by the attention that the baby was going to take away from you?
Quick answers right now. More later :)
True
No
No
1) The moment I found out
2) No
3) No
too bad the baby did not make it, so my fatherhood experience is only based on the time that we were expecting. So technically I am not a father with a kid in front of me, but father of a kid that did not make it.
so, I dont know, does one stop being a father if the kid does not make it, what about if the kid dies..
hmmm not sure.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Fraudz: *
too bad the baby did not make it, so my fatherhood experience is only based on the time that we were expecting
[/QUOTE]
by that, if you mean your baby died, i am sorry to hear that.
Ok, now I am back home, and have re-read the question. Technically Muzna's first question can not be answered correctly in the context of true or false. The reason being that she asked "feel like a real father*-to-be". Now once a baby is born, then the person is no longer father-to-be*, but rather is a father.
So the feelings of father-to-be start right from the moment we find out.
However, if the question is to ask when do you actually begin to appreciate the whole spectrum of responsibility and the bonding with the baby, then in my personal case, it initiated from the moment the test came out positive; was reinforced when we first saw the baby in the ultra-sound, but the whole enormity of responsibility did not kick-in till I held the baby in my arms.
Faisal, you're right on the technical inaccuracy of my question. Would you belive that I went back and added the "to-be" part? ;) Shouldn't second guess myself.
Thanks for answering the question that I meant to ask.
Fraud,
Although I have been aware of the situations that you have faced, I never really understood how you felt until I read your response here. Perhaps because I had never been pregnant.
I've come to the conclusion that you do not stop being a father if the kid doesn't make it. You will be a father now till the day that you die. Be assured of that much. hugs
Muz baji why are you asking? A bun in oven? or out of the oven?
MuNiYa, you don't know yet. ;)
Fraudz, I did not knew....so sorry to hear of your experience. I guess Muzna, is right, even if your kid did not make it, you will remain his/her father forever.
no i dont… boooo…
I wanna knoww tooooooo 
sorry to hear that Fraudz
having been through the same situation more then once
I can only say how sorry I am…
InshAllah next time Allah karam karay gaa 
aap per bhi aur hum per bhi…
sorry to side track a little but is a miscarriage as depressing to the father as it is to the mother?......(or more b/c the husband sometimes
has to take care of the wife as well as deal with the loss emotionally himself)
- 
Thanks for everyone's concern.
Dhoop, It was tough, and I was either just not impacted with it because I was in the supporting role and being strong. I did break down when giving the bad news to my mother.
I did not think I would have that sort of impact, but I did.
Yes Muniya....Ibrahim and I are expecting our first baby in a couple of month's time.
From the very start I told my wife that kids are important but not important than she.. as she is having a risk pregnancy at moment I had to convince her many times that if Allah wants we will have kid otherwise we should not take it to hearts.. I dont want her to be in depression for her sake and for my concern if something goes wrong.. she is doing great for last 2 weeks now.. I feel like a dad but doesnt show much of it in front of her..
Fraud,
sorry to read that man.
May allah grant you a healthy child.
Muzna,
experienced it at June 21st at 03.30am. Felt a proud father when she was in my hands. The feelin stayed.
I never felt left out nor did i miss any attention.
Glad to hear oyu and Ibrahim are expecting. I hope you guys will experince the same happiness as my wife and i did.
Enjoy the moments.
Congrats Degas. I've said a prayer for all three of you. Inshallah if the baby is meant to be with you, Allah will make it so. How far along are you guys?
pathwari bhai,
Thanks sharing with us how you felt. I hope that we will be as overjoyed with our little bundle as you were with yours'.