Intially if a man and women are thinkin abt marraige they allowed to talk(if both r serious n gal has permission from wali)…but what about when both the guy and girl hav decided they do want to marry each other and hav set a date for their marraige…is it allowed to talk in the meantime?
They can talk as much as they want, after Nikkah.
I am assuming u want a proper Islamic ruling on that. In the book I read, suggested, that before Nikah, if there is a serious intention to marry, then they can talk with each other, but they should have a guardian present, who may not necessarily be listening into them. But just to make sure that there is no physical contact between the guy and the gal.
Ofcourse, I assume that ruling is from pre-telephone and pre-internet days.
As far as im aware the purpose of talkin b4 u decide is to see if ur partner is suitable but once both hav decided, i assume the ruling changes, and we r not allowed to talk...is that correct?
Just hurry up and get married.
That way you'll be able to talk sooner.
Intention for marriage has already been agreed and accepted.
What is the point where we say "they have decided"?
As per my understanding, if both of them are serious about marriage (not necessarily with each other) and want to find out if they are suitable for each other, then they can talk to each other in the presence of a guardian. Once they decide, that yes, it will work, then they should have nikkah. After nikkah, they can talk without the presence of any guardian.
So basically, the main thing is intent to get married, and not merely to flirt. According to most people I talked to, in the present times, this will be the time of proposal. So once the proposal is given, there is a seriousness of intention established. From that point till the Nikkah is solemnized, the girl and the guy can talk with each other in the presence of a guardian. If they feel, that this thing will not work out and they are too incompatible or something, they can just break off the whole thing, without going through nikkah.
I don’t see any problem with talking in fact I am very surprise that you are thinking of marriage first and not talking. The best opportunity is talk to her in family gathering (yours or hers).