As in, toxic, unpleasant, nasty coworkers who make your day to day working life quite miserable.
Why do we put up with them? especially when they may or may not add any value to teh company?
I undrestand the reasons behind putting up with awful supervisors/bosses, but why do we put up with those who are our “peers”?
And why does it always seem like, the terrible ones are extra chummy with their bosses 
Re: Putting up with coworkers
Few things here Sara.. when it comes to peers , unfortunately we can only report their actions to the seniors and then just wait and watch if the manager too thought it was worth it taking any action.
Someone who may seem useless to us may actually be a great asset for the company , in a bigger picture .. only a manager can decide that hence why the peers are left with two choices:
I remember a colleague had serious anger management issues … other colleagues were very friendly with her and knew how to reign her in.. Me being a much simple person by nature, I just disliked her to the core and instead of her getting an earful from the manager, it was me who got it for not being able to tackle her 
… When I myself became a manager , years later.. I realized how this game is played …
A manager cant knock off anyone unless they are a serious disruption to the entire team !
Re: Putting up with coworkers
I work with a seriously irritating guy who adds no value to the team. When he first started, he'd cook eggs in the microwave and bacon and sausages on the sandwich press. He'd eat for 4 people, and then disappear for half hour. I was supervising him at the time, and asked him where he went for half hour. Said he had to take a shower, after sitting on the toilet for so long. He does this everyday. Even the non-muslims found the bacon smell wafting from the airconditioning irritating, and no one could use the sandwich press cos of the bacon grease all over it.
We're just not extending his contract anymore, just letting him go peacefully. I'm sure he'd be an asset elsewhere.
Re: Putting up with coworkers
^ Lol…wow!!! no one ever spoke to him about the bacon smell? Was he at least good at what he did?
In one of my jobs there was this guy who was friendly to EVERYONE…he’d talk to them, be firendly and stuff…with me, he’d never even reply to my hello..acted like I didn’t exist. Dunno why he acted like that and what I ever did to offend him. Don’t recall ever complaining to my boss though.
Right now, I have this one girl who will refuse to do certain assignments and on two separate occasions has screamed at us unprovoked…It’s like walking on eggshells around her…except this time I’m the office manager and she HAS to listen to me…but doesn’t. No one in the office has noticed the same attitude problem with her…Mind baffling I tell ya! 
Re: Putting up with coworkers
In US every business deal can be finalized and ever office related issue can be resolved over lunch. Offer to take her out for lunch talk it over with her and spell it out to her calmly what is your perception about her. No one refuses a free lunch and no one will be mean to someone who has offered free lunch and talked to her respectfully. You are her manager , you are offering her free lunch and mentoring she will listen and follow through. If it does not work then you talk to your manager and when you tell your manager what you have done to alleviate the situation she/he will see you have a big heart and you know how to handle a delicate situation professionally.
If this does not work then time to look for another job. Just kidding , it should work , it has worked so far with me and with others who asked my advice in similar situations.
Re: Putting up with coworkers
^ Mera dil bohot chota hai. :( jk...
Well I've tried to be accomodating and helpful to her but she doesn't want to be cooperative. She's said on several occasions "I don't work fro you, I work for (my boss)" The only reason I haven't escalated it to my boss, is, like you said, I want to be able to handle this on my own.....that and my boss doesn't really care about us anyway since we're temps (and the worker in question is a permanent employee of the company) :D
I have to look for antoher job anyway, since it's contract based...you'd think....."choro its just a few more weeks" but these kinds of people are there in every job..so might as well learn how to deal with them for the future.
Anyways, I wanna hear about others' stories too. :D
Re: Putting up with coworkers
Been very fortunate with colleagues/bosses.
Re: Putting up with coworkers
There is an excellent video on dealing with difficult people by a Buddhist monk named Ajhan Brahm. I think that’s how its spelled.
Anyway the video us titled “dealing with difficult people.”
Do watch it on YouTube, it’s very interesting and I found it inspiring.
After all, if it’s one thing that unites us all, it’s dealing with difficult people.
Re: Putting up with coworkers
Sara, given you situation it might just be the fact that she hasnt been told clearly who she will be reporting to. This also seems to me like an ego issue ... sometimes permanent employees dont give much attention to the temps and find it difficult to report to them in any way...
this case is quite complicated in my opinion, other then talking to her and trying to break the ice with her.. dont think there is any way youwill see any good results ...
Re: Putting up with coworkers
Yes...EGO!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: Putting up with coworkers
Thats why its a very complicated case .. coz to break ice when ego is the biggest hindering factor, you need time .. and since you are on a contract , you may not have that kind of time ... the other person keeps thinking ohh no point improving relationship with the temp resource , so lack of enthusiasm and motivation at their end can cause issues for you ..
sorry you are having to go through this phase, if she is becoming too much hassle and not listening to you and this is affecting your work and your reporting ... then dont talk to her when you need her to do something, just email her and when its an important task , cc the manager in it ... if at some point the manager asks why you are CC'ing him, just say humbly that you are only trying to get some work done and keen on keeping him informed where necessary to avoid lack of motivation and enthusiasm on the part of certain colleagues.
That way you are seen as someone who isnt directly complaining about another colleague and at the same time you will be seen as someone who is trying to work out how to get things done in a positive manner.
Re: Putting up with coworkers
ah..i like the email idea.
worst part about all of this? She's a 21 year old college student. Yeah, call it jealousy or whatever, but that burns me...that such an arrogant punk can have a decent job. :)
Re: Putting up with coworkers
So I actually had to fight for the right to work in MY OWN OFFICE today. 
She was working at my desk…I assume someone in the company assigned her work to do. Nothing unusual. My shift started at 12 PM and she said she’d be done by then.
Few minutes after 12 and I asked her (nicely) if she’s done, she said yeah.
5 more minutes later and she’s still at my table. I asked her (again..nicely!) are you done, and she screamed “SARA YOU"RE GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT”
I said this is my work space, I still run the office here and I have work to do and I gave you enough extra time…aaaaand I told her to keep her attitude in check 
…ooooh she got madddddd.
Honestly, the few extra minutes isn’t a big thing! if she had asked nicely…“please give me a few more minutes” I would not have minded. My other coworkers were there to see it all and said the same thing, that she could have asked nicely and she had no right to scream at me. But seriously…I was sick of her nonsense so I pointed out to her how her attitude is.
I don’t know what’s going to happen now. My boss is on vacation, and honestly…if she complains to her, I’m prepared for that because I don’t think I have done ANYTHING wrong in handling her. I complained to my boss earlier in the season about her attitude problem and the boss took my side…soooo…I don’t know…
it’s a great learning experience I tell ya. 
Re: Putting up with coworkers
ohhh dear .. sounds like a complicated situation .. as long as other colleagues are witness to it … I guess you will just have to wait and watch until the boss returns and deals with this … good luck Sara..
Her attitude stinks and I hope she gets a good one for this incident
Re: Putting up with coworkers
I really DO love my job and all my coworkers (save for these 2)....and...everyone has an issue with thier boss and I don't expect to be the exception...but now I'm a little worried...if she did complain to the boss, she may not see it from my POV...I dunno....I shouldn't be worried since I did nothing wrong but...that feelings still there!
Re: Putting up with coworkers
when things like these happen one of the best things is either to put it in an email to your boss or wait until you have a one to one with the boss and mention it to them for sure .. coz then they will be able to see your point of view as well ...
There are two things to this situation :
1- In my opinion this shouldnt be such a big thing to warrant a warning from the manager to either of you .. however the manager can always ask you both to be careful in the interest of the team and office decorum.
2- But if she decides to take it up to the manager , then you need to ensure you mention your side of the story as well.
you see Sara, the learning aspect in this is that the sharp , outspoken , shrewd women in the workplace will use lesser words themselves and provoke you more , the minute to open up , you will be saying more then them and that is what may get you into trouble rather then them . Which is what i think happened here , she is the one who provoked you with her attitude and you ended up saying things directly to her in too many words.
Purely from learning perspective ,if such a situation comes up again remember you keep your calm and say things in proportion to what they have said to you, for example in this situation you could only say the following sternly " I understand that you might be in the middle of something important but this is my office space and I need to tend to something urgently as well " ...
If you feel the need to tell that person how you feel about their attitude .. you got to do it in person, never do it in front of the entire office , that will go against you rather then in your favour , even if you are on the right ! and after doing so, make sure to let your manager know either in a formal way or an informal way so they are aware of your efforts ...
As for now, dont worry too much .. just wait for the manager to return and when you and her are having your one to one , towards the end of the conversation just tell her casually about this incident and say that you are trying to reach out to your colleague and hope to make things better ... give a positive image of your efforts towards her ...
Re: Putting up with coworkers
Thanks for the detailed reply CB.
The general attitude in the office is a relaxed one, we’re all pretty friendly with each other…early in hte season it was stated that if there was a problem, come to me first…and if it’s not resolved then they have every right to escalate to the manager.
Well, I was very calm with her, as I have always been friendly and polite…she’s been the one who cannot control her emotions and acts out. She has screamed at me and another worker unprovoked on more than one occasion. That’s what I mean by having to walk on eggshells around her.
So, as much as I’d like to, I don’t think I should initiate speaking about this…and I should assume if my boss never brings it up, I shouldn’t worry…haina? I do have to meet with her eventually, so I may or may not bring this up.. 
My boss knew fully well about my background and that this is my first time in this kind of position…she checks in but she doesn’t hover or micromanage so I take it as she trusts me and knows I’m capable of doing the work properly…so I know she must have hired me for some good reason, last thing I want her is to regret her decision…
Re: Putting up with coworkers
you are right about majority of the things Sara …Certainly this lady has an attitude issue .. lets see, if the manager chooses to ignore it , you ignore it too but if this lady becomes a hassle have a casual chat with your manager then and by way of asking her advise ask her what your strategy should be to handle difficult attitude …that should help you considerably 
Re: Putting up with coworkers
So this girl emailed me in the morning, saying that I was being unprofessional, she’s always given me respect (YEA RITE!!!) and that we’re professionals and if I’m upset we can work it out. (amongst other things). I sent her a reply…let’s see if she responds or escalates it or what. I really don’t like this but she made the first move…
Re: Putting up with coworkers
Sara , she is very clever and knows how to get you in trouble .. and the thing to learn for you is , that never ever use negative words for a colleague even if they are provoking you ... I dont know how it is in the US , but here in the UK, even if i was on the right and I told someone they have an attitude problem and shouted at them, I would surely get a warning from HR or might even lose my job ! seriously its that bad a thing ..
I think you should now remain calm and your only message to her should be , that you dont have a problem with her , infact you feel she does with you and hence why you would like to invite her for a cup of coffee or lunch to see if any issues can be ironed out ... CC this email to your manager as well ...
good luck with handling this one ..