Re: Putting the blame where it belongs...
Oh wow, what a circular reasoning.
So, the moms of the evil rishta-hunting aunties are responsible for the bad behavior of these aunties? And therefore, women are perpetuating the problems they suffer from others?
Yeah, Pakistani society itself is so circular in reasoning. This explanation serves as well as any other, I suppose.
Recently, I have had some friends get married, and I've been involved in those weddings. You know what one of the major problems is? Its not really as you make it out to be. People are raised however they are raised, but you still are responsible for your behavior once you become an adult. And the dulha and dulhan do not only have their moms involved, but they have dads too you know. Where are the dads when political problems break out between families?
Secondly, I strongly believe the recently acquired wealth muslims abroad have added to the vanity and senseless rasams we have in our culture, the mixture is ripe for disaster.
Do you know that in the weddings I experienced, most of the problems were because the two families had slightly different ways of doing the rasams and the families would fight as to which methods of rasams to pick? On top of it, you have the dulha and dulhan who have their own desires and wants for their wedding. Many times they have to saccrifice that to make their parents or in-laws happy. That breeds a great deal of resentment too. I still cannot understand how many many pakistani women get married letting their mother-in-law choose the shaadi outfit for them as well as their jewelry and make-up!
I'm telling you, its all power games. Each party is trying to have more power than the other, and in most incidences I've seen, its determined by who throws more money into the marriage ceremonies.