There were couple of discussions going on this forum on the irrational behaviour of the rishta looking ami’s and aunties… and all the ladies here were complaining abt it… and i was just wandering that if this cycle is like this then none other than these very ladies of some generation are responsible for this…
i mean i remember my mother teaching me each little thing even like k baita cholay nahi kehtay chanay kehtay hain… and haan nahi kehtay jee kehtay hain… i in my personal opinion think that the mothers of today don’t take this job of upbringing their children with same pain and dedication… if islamically, for a children a mother is 3 times more respectable than father than this i believe also means that the mother is 3 times more responsible for the proper training of their children…
So when a mother doesnot put this much effort in the upbringing of their children than how can we expect to have better understandable rishta looking aunties..? As long as the parent themselves doesnot tell the pain they suffered at the hands of others through their behaviours and avoid to do it with others especially infront of their children, how can we expect that they will learn it..
With all due regards to every one, i personally feel that most of the time ppl r doing wot everyone else is doing around them, without realising whether its good or bad, or how they will feel if somebody else does it with them… this is wot i call as the “depth of thinking”, which is missing in the today’s children and i wander wot kinda parents they will turn out to be… and wot kinda generations we will have in the future..
NOTE: i don’t want to offend anybody and if anyone get offended i apologize for it in advance… and secondly all the thoughts expressed by my in this post are based on my observation of the ppl i around me which i know, So it is a very small pool of ppl to have any sort of verdict … so u may differ with it.
Re: Putting the blame where it belongs…
Huh? Ur blaming the women complaining ? 
i was having a conversation abt this sorta thing wiht my mom, xcept it was with saas/bahu dramarama..i said that some women who r treated horribly by their in laws will not think twice of putting thier bahu/bhabhi etc through that, because they see it as a chance to “get revenge” .. then there are others (like my mom) who were treated badly and would never ever ever put someone else through that pain.. I dunno, i think for the weaker ones, they will repeat the pattern and not care, whereast he stronger ones will realize what happened was wrong and try not to inflict that pain on anyone else..
Re: Putting the blame where it belongs...
Not exactly... the underlying message is that the women has to realize and feel that they should be a little more consious of their actions because they are the ones who r imparting more knowledge to the next generation than their male counterparts... so their every action/word should be with a good solid positive reason, cuz it will go a long way in making personlities of many ppl... Which i believe they do not realize.
Re: Putting the blame where it belongs...
Oh wow, what a circular reasoning.
So, the moms of the evil rishta-hunting aunties are responsible for the bad behavior of these aunties? And therefore, women are perpetuating the problems they suffer from others?
Yeah, Pakistani society itself is so circular in reasoning. This explanation serves as well as any other, I suppose.
Recently, I have had some friends get married, and I've been involved in those weddings. You know what one of the major problems is? Its not really as you make it out to be. People are raised however they are raised, but you still are responsible for your behavior once you become an adult. And the dulha and dulhan do not only have their moms involved, but they have dads too you know. Where are the dads when political problems break out between families?
Secondly, I strongly believe the recently acquired wealth muslims abroad have added to the vanity and senseless rasams we have in our culture, the mixture is ripe for disaster.
Do you know that in the weddings I experienced, most of the problems were because the two families had slightly different ways of doing the rasams and the families would fight as to which methods of rasams to pick? On top of it, you have the dulha and dulhan who have their own desires and wants for their wedding. Many times they have to saccrifice that to make their parents or in-laws happy. That breeds a great deal of resentment too. I still cannot understand how many many pakistani women get married letting their mother-in-law choose the shaadi outfit for them as well as their jewelry and make-up!
I'm telling you, its all power games. Each party is trying to have more power than the other, and in most incidences I've seen, its determined by who throws more money into the marriage ceremonies.
Re: Putting the blame where it belongs…
Its not the circuilar reasoning… Let me clarify it..
Why can’t u just rephrase the above statement as
“the moms of the evil rishta-hunting aunties didn;t taught good behaviour to these aunties”
Does this sound a same thing but with the different conclusion.?
You stand when u feel u r right… and the differentiation between evil and good is learned MOSTLY early in your life…