Public Display of Affection

Lifestyle Relationships
21

It reminds me my grandmother who told me that it was impossible for her and my grandfather to come in the same room in front of their elders. My mother told me that she sat down at the other corner on the same bed where my father was sitting and all of a sudden my grandparents saw her in a disapproving manner. Now a days, a couple holding hand is considered normal. Maybe tomorrow french kissing be allowed and I don't know what next probably having full fledge sex on the street.

Do we call this toleration or blind following like a sheep of the culture which is not ours.

The term PDA is vague as it will keep changing with time unless we have some sort of standard that can tell us if it is right or not.

22

>>Maybe tomorrow french kissing be allowed

Who's gonna "allow" it per se? There is no culture police in the west. People do it all the time in the western country. Are you talking about Pakistan?

*>>next probably having full fledge sex on the street. *

Qiyamat ki nishaani. I read in "Maut ka manzar" that near qiyamat, ppl will engage in sex on the streets, and those who won't do that will be embarassed and will try to avoid the streets. Khan_sahib, tayyari karr lo. :)

>>Do we call this toleration or blind following like a sheep of the culture which is not ours.

When we say "toleration", we mean those of us who are living in western countries. Either tolerate their behavior or move out. Are you talking about those in Pakistan?

>>it will keep changing with time unless we have some sort of standard that can tell us if it is right or not.

Darn right! It will be changing with time. People evolve, cultures evolve. Looking at world history it has happened all the time. Which standard are you talking about?

Religion?
Culture?
Religion won't change but ppl will keep finding new interpretations to satisfy their urges.
Cultures evolve and keep on changing.

We can't try to stagnate culture and say "I like this, lets not change it". Culture is neither bound by our personal whims nor can be frozen in time. It flows with the people. You can over-shadow the culture with the religion and claim "amar bil marouf wa nahi an'il munkir", but is this possible if you are yourself an emigrant and living in an alien country?

Maybe it is, but the practical options for emigrants are either to keep yourself and your family protected and try to preserve your whole culture as a shell in an alien environment or integrate with the society without compomising your core values. The choice is yours.

If you chose to live in the west, you got to accept that their culture is different than what we have grown up in (if you were raised in the east, i.e.). Take it or leave it.

23

Okay this is a funny thought came across. Parents who think that if they show affection to each other infront their children, their childern will think they belong to a strong family…

What if those kids grow up and they are doing it and this image of their parents pops up in the mind then???

Just a thought.

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/smile.gif

24

When I see my dad and mom smooching in the house, sometimes I feel embarrassed and I tell them … “knock it off you two!” Honestly, I like to see them being romantic to each other

http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/smile.gif

So, you can say I am okay with PDA. But no kinky stuff.

call me baby

25

[QUOTE]
Originally posted by Peacemaker:
Who's gonna "allow" it per se? There is no culture police in the west. People do it all the time in the western country. Are you talking about Pakistan?

I am saying if it becomes a norm to have sex in the future as a PDA so would u also engage yourself in that act thinking that society is changing so that we should upgrade ourselves according to the requirememnts.

Qiyamat ki nishaani. I read in "Maut ka manzar" that near qiyamat, ppl will engage in sex on the streets, and those who won't do that will be embarassed and will try to avoid the streets. Khan_sahib, tayyari karr lo. :)

believe it or not it does happen. while i am doing the preparation what are u thinking of doing ;-)

When we say "toleration", we mean those of us who are living in western countries. Either tolerate their behavior or move out. Are you talking about those in Pakistan?

I am talking about toleration of in terms of PDA as a desi within ourselves. holding hands, french kissing, sex on the street. first two casse are not uncommon among desis.

**Darn right! It will be changing with time. People evolve, cultures evolve. Looking at world history it has happened all the time. Which standard are you talking about?

Religion?
Culture?
Religion won't change but ppl will keep finding new interpretations to satisfy their urges.**

Yes Mugambo, I am talking about religion. Give me an example how couples can make sex on the street by themselves acceptable using any interpretations. They will have to be very radicaaaaaal to do that or else they are wrong in my limited knowledge.
Cultures evolve and keep on changing.

*We can't try to stagnate culture and say "I like this, lets not change it". Culture is neither bound by our personal whims nor can be frozen in time. It flows with the people. You can over-shadow the culture with the religion and claim "amar bil marouf wa nahi an'il munkir", but is this possible if you are yourself an emigrant and living in an alien country? *

I think not approving of the bad thing is "amar bilmaruf wa nahi anil munkir" Is it not?

Maybe it is, but the practical options for emigrants are either to keep yourself and your family protected and try to preserve your whole culture as a shell in an alien environment or integrate with the society without compomising your core values. The choice is yours.

Neither are the options which I think are suitable. I know few guys who have been brought up in "shell" environment and you feel sorry for them. Maybe it's me but for some other standards they aren't loser at all. The integration option is again difficult to decide as where u would draw the line.

If you chose to live in the west, you got to accept that their culture is different than what we have grown up in (if you were raised in the east, i.e.). Take it or leave it.

I don't understand this advice as if they come to our countries accepting our traditional values. For example, no one really approve of the shuttle cock in Afganistan which is not there for cultural but religious reasons and they aren't even coming there but why have we got to change our culture just because we are living here. Is there anything called freedom of living the way you want to live your life.

I have noticed that u r talking from saving desis from west culture but I guess I had replied implementing western culture to ourselves.

26

Ah!

Pehlay batana tha... issi liyay to baar baar pooch raha tha. Are you talking about desis living in the west or desis living in their own society back east, or are you talking about western people in western culture?

This topic seemed more for discussing how the western people behave in western societies with each other. We are just debating it from the point of view of desis looking at those western people in public displays of affection.

Thats why I am still puzzled as to what are you on about when you say "Do we call this toleration or blind following like a sheep of the culture which is not ours". Who is asking desis to follow the west, we are discussing how would you feel when you see a western couple doing it. You just went off on a different plane. :)

>>I think not approving of the bad thing is "amar bilmaruf wa nahi anil munkir" Is it not?

Living in the west, you can see a western couple engaging in french kissing on the street. You can feel bad and you think you know its wrong, but what are you gonna do about it? Will u go to them and say, "excuse me, but in our culture this is improper so do you mind going somewhere private?" Will you do that? Or will you just look the other way and move on. How will u express your disapproval to a western couple on the street? Here is where my last sentence becomes relevant. Its their country and their culture and you are living here by your choice. Don't like it, then its your decision. Will you actually be enforcing your cultural values on them?

>>The integration option is again difficult to decide as where u would draw the line.

That depends on yourself. No one can or should decide it for you.

>>Is there anything called freedom of living the way you want to live your life.

Yes there is. You have hit the nail right into the head. Just as you have an option to live your life the way you want to live, so do these western people have an option to live their lives the way they like to live. You can implement all your ideal cultural values in your home and in your society, but how are you gonna implement those on western people in a western society?

You question why should you change your cultural values to suit western society where you live, and the answer is "no, you don't have to". Many people don't. They live all their lives in the west and still retain their culture and their traditions. It is difficult and you can probably be successful for 1 or 2 generations if you make a lot of effort and sacrifice. But history has shown that sooner or later your future generations (grand children or their children) will integrate with the society to a very large extent.