Someone very close to me has a cousin who lives in Pakistan and got married last year to what seemed liked a perfectly normal guy. The cousin gave birth last month and now has a daughter who is a month old. The messed up part? This normal and highly educated guy the cousin married (he’s an attorney) turned out to be a PSYCHOPATH who refuses to give her money for basic things like food, clothes and other necessities for his own daughter. The person who’s very close to me is the one who has been helping her secretly through the girl’s older sister by making sure she had the money for the necessities.
And worst of all? He beats her up. And then cries over it afterwards. People suggested it was “asr” or black magic but honestly, let’s not make excuses for this dirtbag.
The sad (or sadder?) part is that he came off as someone who was so kind and mature/sensible and the cousin herself is the sweet naive innocent kind who was in lala land prior to their marriage and was OBSESSED with him in the most sweetest and endearing way. But more so, she had a very messed up family life (mom passed away to cancer 2-3 years ago, dad is pedo-creepy who made her very uncomfortable and then re-married) and this was sort of her escape route. And prior to marriage, she was supporting herself by working so she’s perfectly capable of working and earning herself but I am assuming this psycho of a husband probably wont let her work.
It scares me because he showed ZERO signs of being like this and I myself just heard about his ways recently so I am assuming it started after she gave birth. They are saying she might try to divorced but not sure what will happen. So horrifyingly sad. And scary.
It’s crazy how before hand people can show them selves and their families to be extraordinary people. And sometimes after the fact, usually when it’s too late, the true colors start to show.
But the thing that I’m wondering is… he was fine for the 1st year. And after they had a baby he turned into a maniac. Not that there’s any justification to acting that way, but could something have triggered him?
I hope everything works out in the girl and the baby’s best interest.
Well Miss Manno
what else can we feel besides empathy for the woman she's talking about? Do you know anybody who acts this way?
She just gave us a story and not a question was asked.
There are men who are scum but I'm sick of reading thread after thread in Life1 about how horrible they are.
Reading this actually broke my heart for this girl. I hope she finds her way out, no one deserves to be treated this way, especially after what she's endured.
May Allah take care of her and the baby in the times to come. May He guide her to make the choices/decisions that are in the best interest of all concerned, ameen.
Well Miss Manno
what else can we feel besides empathy for the woman she's talking about? Do you know anybody who acts this way?
She just gave us a story and not a question was asked.
There are men who are scum but I'm sick of reading thread after thread in Life1 about how horrible they are.
I am definitely not making a thread to add to the many bash-a-man threads. It was simply a thread about the various ways unexpected things happen to people in marriages. Obviously this was out of the blue and they had a very stable relationship prior to marriage which makes it all that more scary.
Major assumption here but I don't think this guy was a perfect angel before the baby's birth a month ago. I also wouldn't label him as a psychopath. He's just an a$shole. There are MANY men like him out there (on the flip side, there are plenty of good men out there too).
There are no guarantees in life. People (especially women) like to live in lala land and think that they'll always be treated with love/care by their husband. They think there is some type of guarantee that he won't turn out to be a jerk. Stories like this is exactly why women need to further their education as much as possible and work and make sure they have their own savings in case they need a escape route for their own safety and the safety of their children (unless there is a valid reason for them not to work such as immigration or health issues or taking care of a child).
It's all due to family..... husbands in Pakistan act on what their mothers and sisters say....family chooses girl for him...the day she becomes wife.....they start hating her.....
Marriage should be exactly like birds......once married.... LIVE your LIFE!!!
Most husbands don't know that women are programmed REVERSE.....its their instinct to tease / bite...u can't change it....Allah has made it. Wise men don't beat....wise men play them polite...if the heart of your woman breaks,,,,,,its your life's end... Yeh dil tute phir na chootay ...yeh aisa bandhan hai....yeh jeevan hai....
that's sad. People sometimes don't show their true colors and the super controlling ones are so weird. (reminds me of Julia Robert's movie Sleeping with the Enemy).
That's why maybe it's a good thing to get to know the person a bit. If they are psycho - they would hide it well. Funny in our culture - the controlling nature of a husband is not frowned upon even though it's a weird behavior.
There are families that don't even marry their daughters into unknown families. And in olden days - someone from the girls family would live there for a while.