Re: Pro's and Con's of Dating?
Agreed. So how long can people date without it turning into a long term relationship?
I dont think we can chalk out some general rule but any sane person should be able to figure out the compatibility in 4-5 meetings or less and few phone conversations.
Re: Pro's and Con's of Dating?
^I hope the 'whore' comment applies to both sexes..
Whether or not it's recommended depends on who you ask..
Yeah I was talking about guys perspective.
Yeah both can be whore.
Re: Pro's and Con's of Dating?
So that out of the way,
Dating can be fun, but Could have bad consequences.
1-STD 2-unwanted kids 3-Women get attached and it cause heartache(thats how they are designed)
Dating is every thing what marriage is minus responsibility minus emotional/physical protection minus commitment.
Over all not recommended to date one person for long time.
But Then again short connection make you a whore, and you get into situation in which whores get often.
So men dont get attached or get heartache? They dont get hurt?
And the last comment...hopefully you're talking about women and men.
Re: Pro's and Con's of Dating?
You just took the words right outta my mouth woman! I think the issue is expectation.
Lets say you date a man...well...how long do you think you can date him before he starts to expect some hanky panky? Thats the issue I have with dating...
That is twisted Deeba.
**One more aspect of it...lets say there is physical attraction and chemistry. Well, I guess some sort of physical relationship is inevitable...no? Regardless of marriage being in the cards...it WILL happen right? Which is why they say when man and woman are alone...the third person is shaitaan.
But then..................how on earth do you get to know him? **
Agreed. So how long can people date without it turning into a long term relationship?
Usually the girl also wants a physical relationship as well tho, but of course the guys usually want it quicker lol..
If u had moral objections to physical/sexual contact u could just always meet with a family member or others around who wouldn't let that happen.. Some people who opt for arranged marriages but still want to get to know the person go down that route.. u could have as many meetings as u liked as long u weren't left alone..
Re: Pro's and Con's of Dating?
Of course there are moral objections BUT if you take Islam out...
I think physical contact brings out a deeper connection and what if things dont work out? Why would you share that with someone you dont end up with?
Re: Pro's and Con's of Dating?
So men dont get attached or get heartache? They dont get hurt?
And the last comment...hopefully you're talking about women and men.
reha, yes men women.
And men don't get attached the way women do. Women are all love and care and commitment.
Thats why men marry them, despite them being so annoying.
In the long run, that precocious quality, works against women who date.
My child....
Re: Pro's and Con's of Dating?
Monk, Men and women both have same capabilities to love,get hurt,get angry etc. You can't generalized on the bases of gender.
Pros of dating is you get to know your relationship self pretty well and get a chance to emotionally grow.
Cons: It can get complicated and can scar you emotionally.
Re: Pro's and Con's of Dating?
Of course there are moral objections BUT if you take Islam out...
I think physical contact brings out a deeper connection and what if things dont work out? Why would you share that with someone you dont end up with?
^But in their heads ppl tend to think they will work out.. or sometimes u get those who are so caught up in the physical side of it they don't think too much about what is going to happen later..
Some girls (inc me) also can't get their heads around the idea of sharing a bed on their wedding night with someone they hardly know..
I know to people who haven't been in relationships it might seem that the cons outweigh the pros but most people who** have **experienced them would prob say the opposite imo, if they didn't they would run straight to their parents to find them a partner as soon as they get hurt the first time, not try again.. Only seems to be a tiny minority who once they get into relationships then decide they don't like it and want an arranged marriage instead..
Re: Pro's and Con's of Dating?
reha, yes men women.
And men don't get attached the way women do. Women are all love and care and commitment. Thats why men marry them, despite them being so annoying.
In the long run, that precocious quality, works against women who date.
My child....
Yes, they do get attached! OMG, Ive seen grown men cry so dont tell me they're not emotional and sentimental!
^But in their heads ppl tend to think they will work out.. or sometimes u get those who are so caught up in the physical side of it they don't think too much about what is going to happen later..
Some girls (inc me) also can't get their heads around the idea of sharing a bed on their wedding night with someone they hardly know..
I know to people who haven't been in relationships it might seem that the cons outweigh the pros but most people who** have **experienced them would prob say the opposite imo, if they didn't they would run straight to their parents to find them a partner as soon as they get hurt the first time, not try again.. Only seems to be a tiny minority who once they get into relationships then decide they don't like it and want an arranged marriage instead..
Ive had an arranged marriage before.
Im still not dating...I dont want to. I think its too much work for someone Im not even halfway sure about. And like Decent said a few posts ago...why cant we know if we want this person in 4 or 5 meetings?
Surely, it cannot take 2 years to find out if you like someone or not?
Re: Pro's and Con's of Dating?
Y Surely, it cannot take 2 years to find out if you like someone or not?
Yes but it takes more than 2 years sometime to find out that you are not with the right person.
Re: Pro's and Con's of Dating?
If you're married, no cons that I can think of. If you're not, then the major thing I would say is that when it ends, everything you invested in the relation has just been a waste.
Re: Pro's and Con's of Dating?
Yes, they do get attached! OMG, Ive seen grown men cry so dont tell me they're not emotional and sentimental!
Ive had an arranged marriage before.
Im still not dating...I dont want to. I think its too much work for someone Im not even halfway sure about. And like Decent said a few posts ago...why cant we know if we want this person in 4 or 5 meetings?
Surely, it cannot take 2 years to find out if you like someone or not?
If you think u've found ur 'soulmate' and ur still at college or uni u prob can't afford to marry or ur parents might not be keen until u've finished.. this is the case with most Muslim couples I think.. Usually that or the person you're with wouldn't be someone ur parents would really like eg.wrong caste, race or family, in which case the couples sometimes try and wait it out..
It's easy to keep pointing out the cons while dismissing the pros of dating when u've never tried it and never experienced the emotional highs of being with someone u feel u love. Even without marrying them just spending time with them makes u feel amazing..
The point I was trying to make was if it was that much hassle and heartache those girls and guys who have been dumped once prob would not try again with another person, they'd just give up and ask their parents to find someone, which the majority of them don't do..
Some people do get tooo emotional (or even suicidal) and can't handle a breakup but most ppl are level-headed enough to get over it and in time move on.. If they're so fragile they can't handle rejection perhaps they shouldn't get married either 'in case' it breaks up..
Re: Pro's and Con's of Dating?
Yes, they do get attached! OMG, Ive seen grown men cry so dont tell me they're not emotional and sentimental!
Ive had an arranged marriage before.
Im still not dating...I dont want to. I think its too much work for someone Im not even halfway sure about. And like Decent said a few posts ago...why cant we know if we want this person in 4 or 5 meetings?
Surely, it cannot take 2 years to find out if you like someone or not?
Why don't you see it this way: You don't HAVE to like them very much (just favourable towards them) and let your conversations and meetings unfold who they are and if you like them. The thing is, no one acts like their real self in the beginning of dating or even a marriage (I assume). But it is not always entirely their fault. I tried to be myself as much as I could, but I still know that unconsciously, I was being a "better" person. Give it a couple months of talking and hanging out. In a couple months, peoples patterns start to appear. Someone could hold the best, most healthiest beliefs about women, children, money, parents, families, religions, politics. But when it comes time to act on things, there ALWAYS are some unconscious unresolved issues. Those are the patterns that show up. That is where things could go wrong.
What you learn about someone in first 5 meetings is very, very superficial. It is never that easy to get to know anyone.
And the thing about patterns, you can decide when those start to appear if you want to live with them or not. You dont have to make a decision to marry someone just because you like them. I would say it would take quite some time to determine if you're willing to spend the rest of your life (hopefully) with that one person. Like is easy. A very deep level of care coupled with compatibility take time to develop.
And, you dont even have to take a long time trying to get to know them. It depends on your comfort level and how well you want to know them. Just don't pressure yourself with the thinking that "you should really like someone before going out to get to know them" (you can probably see how the quotations make little sense).
Also, while you're getting to know them, and it feels like too much work, you are either not ready for it yet or they are not the right person for you.
Re: Pro's and Con's of Dating?
With religion out of the way... I don't see any cons to dating. With the exception of pregnancy and then like Deeba said you could do everything but sex if it was a huge concern. with STDs you could easily ask someone to get tested if you were interested in taking the next step and this is assuming you're not having sex on like the second date or somehing.
Pros being it's lots of fun ( or at least it looks like it). But yeh with what I've seen with my friends there's all this excitement for a first kiss with someone, what romantic things you might do together etc. And dating allows you to be with a person who maybe in the long term isn't great for you ie a dude who's really good looking but maybe not terribly ambitious or really whatever your personal criteria is. Dating can be very superficial if you want it to be. As for becoming attached to someone if you were the kind of person who wasn't interested in a long term commitment then you would date a person who was of a similar mindset. From what I've seen with my friends even with some of the heartbreak they've been through they
love dating.
Re: Pro's and Con's of Dating?
While dating....first...people are actually acting supeficially....
second.....you only get to know the person when you live with them........everyone acts nice and loving when they don't have to bear the responsibilities of the other person...........those who date different people again n again are actually those who are afraid of committment...
Re: Pro's and Con's of Dating?
Too many 'dates' are bad for your health.
Re: Pro's and Con's of Dating?
pros- u have fun
cons- u always are made to justify it and argue for it by nerds who never got to date
Re: Pro's and Con's of Dating?
pros- u have fun
cons- u always are made to justify it and argue for it by nerds who never got to date
Re: Pro's and Con's of Dating?
Pro = you get laid
Con = you don't get laid.
Re: Pro’s and Con’s of Dating?
^ 
Ufff..