So I have seen people saying this quite a lot of time that woman can leave a career for a while so she can be around kids & then rejoin but how is it possible for a professional to go back to work. Lets say if a woman is practicing doctor & she left her job the moment she had her kid. She wasn’t working for lets say 7 years or 8 years minimum but don’t you guys think that when she will rejoin her job,she will have to learn a lot of new things as in all those 7 years new equipment, new machines, techniques has been introduced. She can’t just go there & start working just like that after years of gap. I mean things change in this world these days rapidly. How will you update yourself on each & every thing developing out there while raising kid.
Same goes for other professions too say IT, things change in IT a lot. You have to learn a new language every other day to be in your profession considering the competition these days too. Same with engineering, I mean the degree done in 2015 wouldn’t be useful in 2022 (if not practicing, not out there & updating yourself) as there will be so many new things introduced while you were absent from the job.
Guys who think they want a professional wife who can leave a job for sometime & then can rejoin anytime they want sounds like next to impossible.
What you guys think?
I know for a fact that no girl who is a US medical graduate leave work for a long duration of time (>1yr) for whatever reason. The amount of time and effort one has to put in into becoming a professional is ridiculous and starting a real job at 30 with massive student loan, she would be crazy to quit and stay home for 7-8 yrs. But People do take time off and maternity leave but thats for a short while. Most doctor mom go part time but I haven’t heard anyone quitting for 7-8 yrs. And oh there is recertification exam and CME credits etc. every few years and it becomes increasingly difficult to get back into rhythm if you leave for a long time.
Don’t marry a professional if you want to her to be SAHM
^I used 7-8 years as an example as in other thread people were like some ladies quit their jobs to raise kids & stayed at home & all. And obviously if you are gonna stay at home to raise kids it would be like few years until he/she goes to school.
yea, no pro goes off work for >1 yr. Most I know go part time for a while and then go back full time when kids become a little independent. Its stupid to ask or think that they would make rotis for you 24/7 after being in school for couple of decades
Varies. Depends on the career. Where there is a will, there is a way. Figure out what the licensing requirements are.
For physicians, anything more than a 6 month gap will get questioned by employers. Most people understand babies. But there are some states that no matter what, will not grant you a license if your gap in practice is > 1 year.
So to compensate, people do things like volunteering at free clinics or part time shifts in the ER, moonlighting, etc. To keep their license. You only need to work a few shifts in a month to keep your license.
Key is - husband needs to be supportive.
LOL, given how jaahil our quom is, you’re lucky if you’re married to an open minded guy whose privates aren’t compromised any time his wife does something with her life without him.
There is this family, both husband & wife doctor. He wanted a doctor wife & he got one. Girl got married immediately & didn’t practice before marriage. After marriage they had kids back to back lol. They have 4 kids & the youngest one is still 3 years, still no plans to practice. Its been ages they are married & she didn’t work at all. Her whole education got wasted & after all these years if she tries, it will be quite difficult for her to go back considering so much development has happened. And her husband was constantly showing off that I told my parents when they were finding rishtas for me that " mujhe biwi doctor chahiye, khoobsorat bhi ho, ghareloo aur sughar bhi ho aur jaisi mujhe chhaiye thi waisi hi mili ". I was like okaayyyy.
Just saying.
is she a US medical grad? If she is then I am surprised.
Its pretty common in Pakistani doctor girls though. Almost all of them don’t work after graduation or even if they come here, they spend years preparing for boards
is she a US medical grad? If she is then I am surprised.
Its pretty common in Pakistani doctor girls though. Almost all of them don’t work after graduation or even if they come here, they spend years preparing for boards/QUOTE]
this!
Taking a gap for kids is a need and very important for many families. Such families do that knowingly that after kids grew up, the wife may or may not be able to pick her career up from where she left it. There is nothing wrong with such situation. On the other hand, if wife died but want such gaps, and fugue or other ways of taking care of the child, then that is good too.
But some people in that other thread just want professionals, want them to quit a job for few years to raise kids & then go back. If you want a doctor wife then let her practice too else marry a non-professional.
As a healthcare professional myself (or student, currently), I can’t imagine taking more than maternity leave off from work. After investing so much time, money and effort into my career, I would be doing myself injustice by quitting all together, even it’s for a few years. It’s not easy to get back into the work force after a long period of absence and my knowledge and skills would suffer too. I wouldn’t mind going part-time, however. People need to stop asking women who’ve dedicated over 8 years of university education + training to be stay at home moms.
I’m a stay at home mum and I’m also a pharmacist. I’ve been off work for a year plus and I can’t return to full time or even part time work anytime soon. During the year I’ve been off I’ve stayed on the pharmacist register and kept up to date with clinical knowledge. I’ve also done a few shifts (in total four) to keep the pharmacy brain active lol. When I got married my plan was to only stay off for maternity leave when kids came along but when baby came along my husband and I both changed our minds lol. Need to be flexible. How you feel now might change five years down the line and when your situation changes too.
It’s a very valid question but the time you mentioned is ridiculously long. No body takes off for that long I believe.
As far as working women are concerned in most of the countries they’e allowed to have a reasonable amount of days off work so they could have babies and all that without losing their jobs and company pays them as well.
There are many couples who’ve successfully manged their lifestyle with both parents working and yet taking of their kids. It’s too advance now a days.
What I think is there are very few females who actually pursue their career after getting married because it usually doesn’t workout very well once you’ve more than 1 kids. Initially it’s like hey we can manage and then when you’ve more than one it’s very difficult.
Parents who value their careers more than their children’s grooming they don’t leave their careers and leave kids in the hands of baby sitters or day care schools. But parents who value that usually the mother quits the career and stays home so she could spend enough quality time with her kids to groom them well.
I think it depends upon what you want for your kids as a parent and if someone out there’s saying it doesn’t effect children’s grooming he’s kidding.
Seriously. There are plenty of proud children of working women in this world. They existed back in the 50’s, and they exist now. There is not a single child who is lacking in his or her upbringing. The mothers aren’t working because they’re money crazy. They’re working because they’re not the type to sit at home. They’re working because they want to. They’re working because they may have to supplement their spouse’s income. They’re working because gasp they may be the only parent supporting their children because either their spouse died and they don’t want to beg their own family members for money, or because they decided to leave an abusive relationship. And yet, none of these children are lacking in grooming. None of them are bad. None of these children are rude, and unIslamic. You know kids who ARE lacking in grooming, who ARE rude and obnoxious and selfish? Those kids can also come from joint family households, or households where the mother isn’t working. You can’t just make crap up and pretend that’s the world you’re living in. Get out of your OWN little circle. Travel the world. Talk to different people. Read books that have been written by intellectuals. And then talk.
If a mother is sitting at home, watching Star Plus or Hum TV dramas all day, while the kid spends his time playing on the Playstation and getting fat on chips, while she waits for the husband to get home and discipline the kids is not a good parent either FYI.
Tubelight, I think realistically a lot of women who want to go bk to work do it much sooner than that.. In our case Mum went back to work properly when my brother and I had started school full-time (age 4ish) and did a bit of stuff part-time before that - and this was 25+ years ago.. I think part-time work is definitely possible much sooner and full-time work might be depending on the actual nature of work and so on.. Each to their own though..
Why don’t you tell us the fact that besides all those good kids you talking about there are also kids who lack in everything on the daily basis.
They don’t have the guts to talk in front of people or who start crying when their teacher asks them a question. Or who have a bad hygiene or who got sick because parents weren’t home or who injured themselves because the babby sitter was watching tv. Or who are sexually confused because they don’t know which sex they are or who end up being the type of men who beat and abuse their wives later on in their lives because of bad parenting or absence of the parents.
Or why don’t you put some light on the fact that the type of women who don’t like to be at home usually are caught cheating on their husbands or having flings if not married?
Or why don’t you enlighten us about the fact that the divorce rate is increasing in the working class women.
Or why don’t you tell us why about the fact that children having working parents end up feeling alone and lack in every aspect of life later on.
I can really go on here.
Don’t show a good picture just to be nice and to have good will of the people.
Talk what is real. Everybody knows that things can be good but how many people actually end up good?
I have seen ton of single mothers who have affairs with men. I have seen ton of working single women who have affairs with their bosses or colleagues.
If this is your personal experience when it comes to working women…then I actually feel very sorry for you. It’s very sad that in your entire life, you have not come across any working women to set a positive example. So much bitterness inside you when it comes to working women…whatever your experienced in your life must have been really bad.
If a woman is single, what’s wrong with her having a fling? Plenty of students in high school and colleges have “flings” too and date (girls AND guys). Does that mean girls shouldn’t be allowed to go to school either?
And besides, it takes 2 people to have a fling right? Why should the woman stay home because she’ll have a fling at work? What about the type of men who have flings with women co-workers while at work…what should we do with the MEN?