Professional Networking Etiquette

As professionals, I’m sure we all know that networking is an indispensable tool to develop industry contacts, get promising leads, and first hand information about a company etc.

That being said, what are some of the do’s and don’ts of professional networking.

I am asking this question because I was recently contacted by a friend of a friend who I have never met before personally and this guy was new to the city – so I offered to guide him etc.
On the very first phone conversation… right after knowing about my work, he started asking for a job in my department. I mean… c’mon man… I’ve never even met you! It’s not that the guy is fresh out of school or anything either. He’s come from Pakistan on one of those long ass 5 year leave from his current job - and the job is pretty decent.

I dunno – this kind of attitude just comes off as rather crass and I get putt off from even trying to do something for these types of people. I mean… had he come to meet me once… touch base with me over email and phone a couple of more times and just asked if I knew of any helpful resources for job search, that would be a much better approach and I would have certainly pointed him in the right direction and depending on what I think of the guy by that time, might even consider hiring him in a position where I have a say.

Re: Professional Networking Etiquette

haha that's just a common genetic problem with most desi ppl...

I personally think that networking should not be a "one meeting" thing.. the first meeting should be all about getting to know at a very high level.. and then arrange for a lunch/dinner/coffee session to discuss further if an opportunity can be attained.

Re: Professional Networking Etiquette

lol true! on a side note lucid bhai, how in the world do ppl get those 5 year old leaves? wanted to know more about those (and if possible get one for myself :hehe:)

true... but even the second meeting may be too soon. That's why I noted that I'd like to get to know the person before I can even think about being able to recommend him to a position in my dept. - I wouldn't want to blindly vouch for someone and that too being a second hand acquaintance.

Re: Professional Networking Etiquette

Most desies are not exposed to intricacies of networking , they know sifarish or connections as it is known in Pakistan. Sifarish is supposed to be a right not a favor there. Sifarish can be done by anybody for anybody or any reason or for no reason at all.
Sometimes it is used as a way to bribe someone , sometimes it is done for the sake of brotherhood ( brathery as it is known there). Even belonging to same religious sect or ethnic group entitles one to get sifarsh from any body belonging to that sect or ethnicity . Intimacy in relationship does not play that big a role in sifarish process.

Dude… it’s just mind boggling! a 5 year leave ??? I’ve only heard of this in Pakistan. Perhaps its one more mystery peg in our quest of qoam ki taraqqi.

Government of Pakistan allows accumulation of rest and recreation leaves as they are called there in Pakistan , then there are earned leaves they can be accumulated too.
People are known to accumulate those leaves total of which comes to so many years. There there are other kind of benefits GOP provides to govt employees and govt corporation employees where they can take a long leave to go and pursue something overseas .

Excellent topic Umer,

What you said is prevalent in Pakistanis that I know of across the board. There are very few exceptions who would have the decency to not ask such a thing straight away.

In my understanding, its to do with our wider culture. Not only is this the case with professional networking, even in day to day dealing, people would not be courteous in this sense.

There is hardly any realization that no matter who, we all have this basic human psychology in which we tend to know each other better and then we may think of some favors (if any). As someone mentioned in this thread, another reason for this is the "öh he is from our desi community" attitude.

I had a somewhat similar incident in which the guy I never even heard of, calls me up and says he is the friend of my fulan friend and that I have to offer him this position. I kept on insisting that he must send me his cv and then we can work towards it. However, during the conversation i was thinking i don't even want to receive or read his resume, because of the way he approached me. So blunt!

We all must have also seen those kind of people whom we may meet in a desi gathering. These type even go ahead and take your interview. A question I hate most is how much is your salary. I mean come on..... I just met you 5 minutes ago and you are asking my salary. What nonsense.

Again it all boils down to basic etiquettes one learns at an early age at home.

Plus, I 've never heard of the 5 year leave. Can one really get that?

Re: Professional Networking Etiquette

In most such cases where people want to obligate you to a favor, or pry a lot on your standing within your career and work place, the simple answer is in your neutrality rather than making the other person feel embarrased. Simply tell them that you are never the one who will be able to violate any protcol in hiring and putting in a good word will require a good deal of decent resume for the requesting person. As far as someone wanting to get to know you and your work place a little too much in detail, tell them that you would appreciate that they call you with a prior appointment, and otherwise you would be well wishing them always.

Normally, even half decent people will get the hint loud and clear that you are not to be taken for granted or buddy relation to be used to get past the merit based qualifications which they should have like everyone else, applying to any given position which you might be in a position to employ people for.

Nice topic Lucid.

Its way too common among desi's to be inconsiderate... thinking its their god given right to just ask for favors and even complain if the guy couldnt get them the desired job. I mean, I would feel uncomfortable asking my closest friend for a job directly (because they would know I'm looking for one, and if they had something they felt I was suitable for,, I wouldnt need to ask) and these so called friends of friends will just call you out of the blue and ask you for a job directly.

I agree with everything you said in your post... and I would say its just a general trait that we have as Pakistanis... we are mostly blunt, inconsiderate, insensitive and quite frankly, rude (mostly being completely oblivious to it as well). This ofcourse is if you look at things from an outsiders (lets say someone educated and well mannered) perspective.

I would like to keep in touch, get to know the person, develop a relationship,,, give them a call once in a while and find out how they are doing etc. and tell them how I'm doing... you know, general chit chat...and yes if I'm looking for a job, I'd eventually bring it up in one of my casual chit chats and ofcourse if the person is in a position where he can be of help, they will most likely notice that and keep it in mind for when an opportunity arises... I would not hire anyone because he is a friend or a friend of a friend unless I know they are capable of doing a good job.

Being considerate tells alot about a person and shows that they have common sense as well which is probably the most important trait one looks for in a potential employee.

I mean its not like you're getting someones young cousin started at a 7eleven.

Your approach is exactly what I would expect from others and something I would also adopt if I was ever in such a situation. Subtlety goes a long way in expressing professionalism… and I’m not saying this because I don’t want to help. To give you an example, I’ve personally helped out a couple of other guppies over the years through recommending them directly for certain jobs but I did this because I had met them a few times… and I knew that they were looking for work – but they never insisted or kept bothering me to set them up in my workplace.

Re: Professional Networking Etiquette

Today some indian guy, who was a friend's friend called me because he was applying in this company I worked for 3 years ago. Now I dont mind helping out such people, but after listening to the guy I told him the division he was applying for was not the same as the one I worked at. It has been 3 years since I worked over there and not sure how things are like over there now. I also told him about how they recruited people, i.e. had a 3rd party company take care of the recruiting. Now he kept insisting I give him the contact details of the person I worked for, so that he can call him. i kept telling him, very politely, that its a different division, and that person has absolutely nothing to do with recruiting either. He still went on 'butt kaaan u give me his nummmbure'... He'd repeat the same thing after I explained to him once again. I just hung up, because he never even bothered to ask me if I was busy before he initiated this convo and kept on asking the same thing. He tried to call again but I just ignored his call and went back to what I was doing when he called.

Re: Professional Networking Etiquette

the biggest misconception is that you network when you are looking for a job. people should be networking all the time, meeting people in their field, in companies they admire, cometitors, industry leaders whatever.

Now, this is not to say that u cant put your nrtworking in overdrive when u are looking for an opportunity. I have talked to peopel and people have talked to me and the best interactions are when ppl are no pushy and ask for company info, what is goign on, what works, how the recruitment process works, info about groups and all.

Very well said X2. Networking is a continuous effort and most importantly as Lucid and Spock also mentioned it has to be done without making it obvious. I am not sure if everyone would have the right skills for that.

Since we were discussing this, I came across this article that many may find useful:

Networking etiquette: respecting your professional contacts

A professional network is indispensable when you’re looking for a job. Your contacts can suggest promising leads or put you in touch with firms that are hiring. They may provide you with first-hand information about a company or give you the name of a staff member they know. In some cases, someone in your network might even be able to help set up a meeting with a hiring manager. At the very least, your contacts can provide encouragement.But this doesn’t mean your network is an inexhaustible gold mine that exists solely for your use and benefit. Following are some right and wrong ways to tap your contacts during a job search.

Target your approach
While it’s important to tell everyone in your network you’re seeking employment to get the most job leads possible, focus on people who could offer the most help for you. For example, you should first concentrate on those in your profession, since they’ll have relevant information about the hiring climate. You should also talk to individuals who work for companies where you’ve submitted your resume.
Before you make a call or send an email message, take a moment to clarify what you want most from your contacts. Are you looking for a specific job? Do you need help arranging a meeting with a prospective employer? Do you want them to pass your resume on to their contacts? Make sure your request is not only specific but also reasonable. For example, if your contact is not executive-level, he or she may not be in a position to provide an introduction to the head of the company.

Don’t abuse your network
There are certain things you can reasonably anticipate from your contacts, such as professionalism and courtesy. And there are a few things you should not expect. These include:
• An immediate response to your request for assistance
• Countless hours of their time
• Use of a contact’s name as a door-opener without his or her permission

Most of your contacts will try to be helpful, but this doesn’t mean you should take advantage of their generosity. If someone promises to get back to you, don’t pressure him with repeat calls.
Keep in mind that, although your job search is a top priority for you, it doesn’t rank quite that high for those in your network. They have multiple and competing demands on their time. Your voice- or email message is likely one of many.

Make networking two-way
Networking should benefit both parties. Therefore, you should be prepared to give as well as receive. This can be as simple as saying to a contact, “Thank you so much for your help. Please call me if there’s ever anything I can do to repay the favour.”

You don’t have to wait to reciprocate.
For example, you could email a pertinent article with a short note (“Thought you might find this interesting”), or offer to introduce your contact to other professionals in your network. If a contact really goes out of her way to help, consider treating her to a celebration lunch when you do land a job.

Keep in regular contact with members of your network. You’ll become familiar with their interests and better able to help when it’s your turn to be someone else’s career resource.

By observing these simple rules of networking etiquette, you’ll avoid alienating your contacts while ultimately strengthening your professional connections.

Networking etiquette: respecting your professional contacts | BCjobs.ca

If you need to avoid an annoying person whom you meet in person… in our case instead of “Boring Bob” say he is a rude desi .

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You’ve encountered this individual at every networking event – Boring Bob – the most belligerently boring person in the world. His dull demeanour is enough to bring you to count the number of hair follicles on your hand just for a little excitement.

You look for the nearest exit, but it’s still 100 yards away. You wait for a break in the conversation in order to say, “Excuse me, I see the last 40-years of my life fizzling away” but Boring Bob rambles on and on.

You start shifting your weight and it takes everything within you not to just turn on your heel and walk away. But no matter how unexciting a person can be, you just never know who’s in his network and whom he can put you in touch with. The whole goal of networking is to build rapport and gain trust, therefore, choosing to be ill-mannered may offend Boring Bob. Knowing how to exit a dry dialogue and ditch a boring person takes a lot of skill and finesse.
Here are 3 simple tips you can use to escape a dreary conversation without being rude or impolite.

  1. **Introduce him to someone else. ** If you have determined that Boring Bob is just too humdrum to keep your eyelids open, start scanning the room. If you spot someone you know who’s in the same industry as your lifeless pal, quickly say to Boring Bob, “I just spotted Ann and she’s in the same industry as you. Would you mind if I introduced the 2 of you?” Quickly call Ann over, make the introductions and as they begin to chat to one another, politely excuse yourself.
  2. Grab something to eat or drink. Food is the best pal you can have when you’re engaged in a monotonous chat with Boring Bob. When he takes a breath, quickly say, “I’d like to grab a drink. I may be awhile because I’m very fussy about what I order. Feel free to mingle with others.” Shake hands with Boring Bob, tell him that you’ll catch up with him later, and then head over to the bar to soothe your frazzled nerves.
  3. **Explain that you see someone you must meet. ** This is a classic and it works every time. Wait for a break in the conversation, then tell Boring Bob that you see someone that you have to talk to. Shake his hand, tell him it was nice to meet him, and then encourage him to mingle with others. You’re now free to walk over to the person you’re dying to meet, whether you know her or not.

Boring Bob may challenge your ability to stay focused and engaged, but don’t feel obliged to suffer through his monotony at a networking event.
Instead, use one of the techniques above to ensure that you don’t get trapped into a boring conversation with the cure for insomnia. Being courteous and considerate means that you will be able to tap into Boring Bob’s network, even if you do have to brush him off.

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Re: Professional Networking Etiquette

so how does one awkward person with no credentials like get started on networking?

Also, since we're (kind of) on the subject...what do u do abt ppl who say they will help, talk to u, ask u to email your resume to them...but then obviously never follow up. i mean what is the proper thing to do in that case? for me, its at the point that wen anyone says they'll help i just nod and say yeah, cz i know they're just talking and wont really do anything and i dont bother following up...b/c apparently that's annoying to everyone!

Nice questions Sara. Well, first of all I believe that everyone is gifted with something special. Even though not very high, everyone while starting does have some credentials. Thats why you apply for a job in the first place.

There always is a start which is the hard part. When applying for a position, one has to follow up. I think the first step for a starter would be to get the message across that you are serious. Therefore you have to call back or email after the interview that you were happy to give the interview and the experience was nice and look forward to a positive answer.

One has to be positive and aim for the best. You cannot give up in the beginning.

For a person who is going for her/his first job, there is networking at a basic level. There are college friends or other friends one has that one can keep in touch with. In fact, if someone you know has been able to secure a good position, you can also have a good chance.

It all comes down to maintaining good relationships and friendships. These ofcourse have to be based on good networking etiquettes.

Re: Professional Networking Etiquette

First of all i think its a great topic and it should be made sticky in this forum as it will help a lot to people who are looking to learn more about professional networking.

when i graduated i used help from several people in trying to find out about their opinion on couple of industries that i wanted to pursue my career, and almost all of those people gave me some new angles to to consider regarding the industry. I think the most important thing a new graduete (or soon to be graduate) has to do is **to be more specific of what industry he wants to get to know more about **and talk to people about it as nobody likes to hear someone come up to them for an advice by saying "well i am graduating in X months and i am looking for job, can u help me???" It sounds a lot better if u go to someone ( someone in same industry that interests you or someone whose opinion you value regardless of industry that person belongs to) and say i am interested in finding a job in Financial Sector or Healthcare or Education or non for profit sector, and this is how i want to go about it, can you show me a better way or is there any different angle to approach this industry than what i am doing?

In my case i have made up my mind about 18 months before i graduated on what indutries i wanted to start my career in, and in my job search i was very specific to look for job in excluseviely ( about 70% of overall Job search effort) those industries.

Good Point!
That's the other problem with our community in general... many people think of networking as a task which only comes into play during times of job search.

I've had my share of interactions where someone I knew years back got back in touch just because they were job searching.

What needs to be understood is that networking is as much a formal as it is an informal affair. People need to attend conferences and networking events organized by associations in their specific industries and also keep in touch with other professionals in the industry as well as their acquaintances on a regular basis... perhaps a couple of times a year just to say hello... meet for a snack and discuss their latest projects etc.

Re: Professional Networking Etiquette

a bit cliche but your network is your net worth :o

In my moments of deep desperation, I have been guilty of asking aquantances to "keep an eye out for me". Other than that, i suck at networking, i can not for the life of me remember names! Most of the networking events we have at our company are very informal so not that many people bring business cards, even if they do after the event i can't seem to put the face to the card :o