In order to produce a Pakistani better than yourself, you’re going to have to pray a lot, spend a lot of time and effort, not to mention dedication and commitment to parenting. Many Pakistani-American parents today are dismayed that their children don’t or can’t speak Urdu, have little to no interest in Pakistan and are even embarrassed to be associated with anything Pakistani.
You can create a decent, honest Pakistani with strong Muslim values and a commitment to Pakistan even in America. Other ethnic and religious groups in America like the Chinese, the Jews and the Italians have done it. So can we. Here are a few ideas:
- **Start when they’re young. **You can’t expect a child who’s grown up with little to no interaction with Pakistani friends, food, language or dress to suddenly become a poster child for Pakistan. From the start, create a Pakistani environment in your home. For example, make a point to speak to the kids in Urdu and encourage them to respond in Urdu not in English, as many Pakistani-American parents make the mistake of doing.
Also, while you should have your children taste the cuisine of other cultures, Pakistani food should also be regularly eaten and cooked. In addition, Pakistani dress should be worn regularly at home, as well as on special occasions.
2. If you have a Pakistani community association in your city, make a point to fully benefit from its services. They may, for example, have a children’s summer camp, Urdu classes or other activities to teach Pakistan’s history and culture. Taking part in activities can also bring your children in contact with other young Pakistani-Americans, which is important, since they probably do not have much contact with kids of the same age and ethnic background on a regular basis.
3. Teach them how to read and write Urdu. If Urdu classes are not available in your community, then make a point to teach them or get a tutor for them. They should be taught Urdu at least once a week. Once they’ve achieved a sufficient level of ability in reading and writing, children should start writing letters to relatives in Pakistan in Urdu on a regular basis. This will not only hone their Urdu skills, but it will also keep them in contact with family members.
**4. Build an Urdu library in your home. **Have plenty of reading material in Urdu available. Ideally, items should cater to all ages, from the youngest to the oldest, as well as all reading levels. That means there should be children’s stories, newspapers and Iqbal’s poetry, for example. Make ample use of this resource by having the kids do book reports or presentations of the material in Urdu in family meetings, for example.
**5. Visit Pakistan regularly./b Sure, you can create a mini-Pakistan in your home, but there’s nothing like the real thing. Invest in visiting your relatives back home regularly, at least every two years if you can afford it. And get everyone in on the plan. Have the kids find ways to save up for the big trip as well, by investing part of their allowance for the trip.
**6. Teach them a healthy respect for Pakistani things. **Make a point of buying items made in Pakistan, whether it’s food, clothing or handicrafts. Encourage them to do the same. For example, if they’re looking for a gift for a friend, suggest that they give some attractive handmade piece of art made in Pakistan instead of going to the local mall.
7. Pass on to them a pride in Pakistan, but also a healthy dose of skepticism. A number of Pakistani-American kids have an idealized notion of what Pakistan is like. But when they visit the country, they often see things that disturb them: racism, classism, poverty, bribery and other corruption. Don’t sweep these issues under the carpet. Rather, be open and discuss them, condemn the problem without condemning Pakistan, and discuss ways you can work to change society for the better. This way, their patriotism is still intact, but they don’t become nationalistic chauvinists either. Also remind them of the positive that is in Pakistan, such as stronger families, better treatment of the elderly, etc.
**8. Encourage them to regularly donate to good causes in Pakistan. **You can suggest that a portion of their allowance regularly goes to a specific charity, or that it’s used to sponsor an orphan, for example. This will teach them the importance of being generous and remembering those who have not been as blessed as they have been. An orphan sponsorship might actually be a better cause to support since your child can keep in contact with the sponsored orphan, thereby making a friend in Pakistan too.
9. Share your family history and its connection to Pakistan with your kids. Explain why your family migrated to Pakistan. Describe how the decision was made, how many family members lost their lives, and the struggle to rebuild life in Pakistan after immigrating. Since most kids growing up in America are rarely taught world history, this is an important way of broadening their minds and discussing their roots with them.
10. Encouage them to share Pakistani culture with others. You can get the ball rolling on this by coming into your children’s classrooms during events like Ramadan and Eid and sharing how they are celebrated in Pakistan. You can also encourage them to represent Pakistan during school events that celebrate multiculturalism and diversity. Also, encourage your children to do class presentations about some aspect of Pakistan if they have a choice of a topic. This way, they not only share their culture, but they themselves learn an important aspect of their history and culture.
11. Try to nourish their talents to help Pakistan. If your daughter is a good writer, have her become a regular contributor to a Pakistani children’s magazine here in America or abroad. If your son is good at art, have him paint beautiful landscapes of Pakistan, auction them off, and give the money to a Pakistani charity. Whatever their talent, try to see how your children can use their skills to develop a commitment to Pakistan.