Problems With My Father :(

[AbraCadabra]

@Spiral

That’s not a new thing in desi families. Growing up, my dad was extremely harsh. He wouldn’t help my mom who worked full time and raised 4 kids without any help. On top of that my daadi would just criticize my mom for everything. From her family to her food to her work .. everything. My mom stayed quiet. My dad loves us a LOT but he was always very controlling. As we grew up and started standing up for what was right, he changed.
Its not going to be easy to stand up but just believe in yourself and know you can change it. Try to make him understand that some things are just not the same over time. Don’t say dad you are wrong but show him how he is wrong. My dad would constantly tell me “saas jootay maray gi khana nahi banana aaey ga.” I was like WTH. I started cooking good food over time and everyone would praise my food so he stopped saying that.
When he say something bad about your mom’s family, tell him he is wrong and he shouldn’t say bad things about her family and that it hurts her. ITS GONG TO BE VERY DIFFICULT. But dad’s like that are usually very very loving. They want to protect their families from all the evil forces in the world. They think without them their kids and wife will not survive hence they have to be harsh to make the family do what they think is right. He will not stop loving you or your mom. Trust me on that. Been there, done that.
Slowly start telling him and show him how some things are just different now. You don’t need to hide anything you do that you think is right. There is no harm in doing makeup. I used to get so much crap for putting makeup but i didn’t stop. My dad eventually got used to it and its all a norm now. Let him scold you, yell at you and continue to do what you want to do. He will get used to it.
Just remember anything you do, don’t disrepect him and know in your heart that this is my dad. He won’t hate me and I won’t hate him.

Its not like he hasnt changed a lot. He has changed with time but his anger issues, his tone, his language, no control of what he should say and should not say just doesnt seem to tone down. It is not okay for my mother to take all that stress.