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Re: problems in the family.
Whoa, what do you mean they found out abt your cousin and backed off? what does his actions have to do with your future? 
that’s really sad… I honestly dont think it could have been that simple that the sisters made him..maybe im just being naive..idk. but if they did pressure him… im sure theres a special place for them just forr their actions.
we found out later on that it was his two youngest sisters who he talked to the most that told him he needs to get divorced and its the only thing to do and its the only option he has. They did not tell one single elder until he has said talaq 3 times and it could not be reversed.
The rishas i got were from a smilar cultural background to me ( which my parents really want) as in similar cast or whatever. So its a close community but i didnt know that news tavels soooooo far and wide anyway the boys mother said because she heard about what happened in our family she wasnt too sure about the rishta even though she liked me- we got this information from a mutual friend.
Re: problems in the family.
Would the elder sisters have done anything differently, i.e. encouraged him to work it out? In this case, while those girls are quite stupid, the guy is definitely a certified idiot. (Sorry i know hes ur cousin but still). i think hes just using his sisters as a scapegoat, maybe he realized the wife wasn't good news and had alreayd made up his mind abt leaving her..and just needed the encouragement.
Re: problems in the family.
I think yes his two elder sisters who are much more mature would have told him to do things diffently which is why he never contacted them until right at the end when he had said the words.
The guys was idiotic and yes maybe things didnt work out and yes he used his sisters as a way of having lots of support because they were extremely possessive about him and also he said things like 'my wife says this about you and that about you'.
I dont understand why my cousins ( the boy and his 2 sisters) have stopped talking to my parents! my parents tried to help him even during the divorce but still nothing.
Its ok for him now he is getting remarried to a pretty girl 12 years is junior and moving on with his life while our family are left picking up the peices and people talking about our family...you know what desis are like!
Re: problems in the family.
Your mom should be encouraged to pick up the phone and call your nephew. She is the elder and if theres a problem with the relationship for whatever reason, she should be the one to offer the olive branch, call him and talk to him. IMHO.
Your mom should be encouraged to pick up the phone and call your nephew. She is the elder and if theres a problem with the relationship for whatever reason, she should be the one to offer the olive branch, call him and talk to him. IMHO.
Both my mum and dad have done this, they called him on previous eid and then once after that but the convos last like 2-3 minutes as he just stays quiet on the other end. When my parents discussed with his parents (dads are brothers) they were like oh he will come round its just a phase blah blah.
My mum calls his sister atleast once a week but she hardly ever calls my mum and never speaks to my dad.
Re: problems in the family.
dafa maar ennan nu (i know i butchered that..but meh)
Re: problems in the family.
your cousin is a complete and utter twat. thank goodness he is out of your parents life! i am sorry to hear all that they have been put though. but i can't believe they are still heart broken that they have been cut off from him! this is truly a blessing! he sounds like the worst, cheap character there is.
dafa maar ennan nu (i know i butchered that..but meh)
ha ha! perfect yaar!
Re: problems in the family.
I think my parents are heart broken because they did so so so much for my cousins, i have loads of cousins but these ones were treating extra special when i was little i was jealous that thye used to get more presents than me!
I tell my parents its good they are out of our lives and we should concentrate on our own family but its made such in impact as they are just in shock and they say' hum log isme buray kyun banay'. Its made such an impact that it has caused problems in my parents relatiosnhip like...'you should have said this' or 'you should have done this'
one of the main things that cmes up is, my dad wanted to keep some sort of decent relatioship with the girls family as they came from a very good and influential family and my dad didnt want to lose some friends he had made along the way however my mum said oh what will people say in our own family blah blah...now our own family are not treating us right and we lsot some friends and then my mum worries about the righta problems i had and my dad says 'i told you we should have kept our friends' and it turns into a big argument.
It just causes so much stress and all relationships, between brothers, cousins, uncles, aunties and friends!
alvena just think like this. jo hona tha vo tho hogia. ainda ehthiat karna.
maybe theses things were meant to happen. regret sucks, it causes disruption of peace.
just think if those people are taking your cousins actions and mirroring them on you then maybe those people weren<t worth it anyways.
now that all this has happened and even your parents get into arguments now bcs they regret helping out your cousin. i don<t understand why they are si sad that there is no contact with them anymore. they should say good riddance. whatis done is done. they helped out your cousins family in a way which caused them nuksan but then this is the story with a lot of pakistani relatives. there is hundred of stories like this even in my own relatives where they helped other relatives out and later those same helped out parties became their full blown enemies.
tell your parents they learned a lesson now they shoulod let it go for their own peace of mind.
Re: problems in the family.
thanks for all the help guys!
i feel satisfied now and im going to delete my post as i am paranoid someone i know will recognise the story and it will cause trouble,