can u ever forget first love? even after marriage and kids, when you still think about that person…what if you see meet that person again in life, and you realize that you still have the same deep feelings for that
person… you talk to the person, talk about all the good times spent… do you think you would be happy if you keep talking to that person? or is it best to stop it…?
your heart doesnt want to stop… but head tells you about the commitments in current life…
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Sheesh. Look you are cheating on your spouse with such thoughts. And honestly the only reason you remember your first love is not because it was amazing or out of a bollywood movie. It is seen as important in hollywood's eyes and in the media's eyes and you are simply being socially conditioned to relive that. Your first love only matters if you have not had closure. If you have not gotten over that person and in that regard you are cheating on your spouse.
You are simply stepping down a road where you will personally be responsible for the destruction of your life, your kids futures and your personal well being.
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You are simply stepping down a road where you will personally be responsible for the destruction of your life, your kids' futures and your personal well being.
QFT
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well if your husband is wonderful and is taking good care of you and your kids then i'd say the relationship you share with him is a lot more meaningful
first love is just puppy love and you can keep him as a distant acquaintance but getting too close to him again is just not advisable, always remember that your relationship with your sweet hubby is more important. don't let those memories of how it was affect you, don't live in the past instead cherish those times with your husband and spend more time to improve that relationship
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CM:
Yes, Closure was missing... so talking now definately helped.
what if the person doesnt mean to get close or anything, but just keeping as a distant friend....
is that still considered cheating? ofcourse husband and kids are great and cant even think about hurting them at all!
but it feel like cutting all ties would be just too harsh and hard on myself.... dont know why....
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but just keeping as a distant friend.... is that still considered cheating?
you are the best judge of that.........a distant friend is just an excuse for you to keep the person in your life.....and the reason for that is??
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u never forget that person even if u try ur hardest. but, that doesn't mean that one becomes "majnu" and incapable of leading a normal life. what happens is that u put away ur love in the deepest part of ur heart...not visible but still there....24/7: tabhii kisi shaa'ir ne kahaa k:
**jab zaraa gardan jhukaaii, dekh li tasveer-e-yaar!!**
**
aisaa hii mo'aamila jab mere saath huaa to maiN ne bhii sochaa thaa k kabhii vo agar mili to Haal agar poochhaa to kia kahuuNgaa? yeh she'r likh liyaa phir:
**** Khush huN maiN k Khush hai tu, dunyaa teriii aabaad hai**
** kia kahuuN, kaise kahuuN? dunyaa merii barbaad hai!**
**
***:(*
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CM: Yes, Closure was missing... so talking now definately helped.
what if the person doesnt mean to get close or anything, but just keeping as a distant friend.... is that still considered cheating? ofcourse husband and kids are great and cant even think about hurting them at all! but it feel like cutting all ties would be just too harsh and hard on myself.... dont know why....
Doesn't take long for a distant friend to turn into a friend with benefits.
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see it this way in the near future that first love guy will find his own wife and kids to take care of and will move on and keep you as just an acquaintance(or atleast that's how his wife would want it)
it's best to sever ties now and not get emotionally attached to him again b/c if you don't break away now, he will do it anyways when his wifey comes along
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The fact that this is bothering you and you posted about it is enough for me to say its wise for you to break all ties. Its not harsh, its smart.
Are you happy with your marriage? Would you be able to tell your husband about your friend? Meet him with your hubby?
It seems to me you're going to risk a lot by going down this road and since things didnt pan out the first time...I doubt taking another trip is worth it...especially when you have much more to lose. Your friend will not be around to piece your family back together if this goes haywire (khudana khwasta)...you need to look out for yourself.
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CM: Yes, Closure was missing... so talking now definately helped.
what if the person doesnt mean to get close or anything, but just keeping as a distant friend.... ..
See, to me that sounds like you're looking for ways to keep him around....and you're seeking our validation and approval for it.
I don' t think it's a good idea. Even if he's a distant friend.....you'll still have to overcome various emotions whenever you interact with him. That's stressful for you and it's not fair to your husband.
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see it this way in the near future that first love guy will find his own wife and kids to take care of and will move on and keep you as just an acquaintance(or atleast that's how his wife would want it)
it's best to sever ties now and not get emotionally attached to him again b/c if you don't break away now, he will do it anyways when his wifey comes along
both are married and have kids....
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both are married and have kids....
still do you think if you saw each other again, both being married of course, you would be able to have a totally platonic friendship? there were feelings of love before and they can be rekindled again, do you want to take such a big risk of losing your great husband and kids?
i think it's something you need to realize on your own, do some serious thinking, what benefits would you get from this friendship even if it is platonic, not too many and there's such a big risk of developing those old feelings....get closer to your husband and spend more time with your female buddies. try your hardest to forget your first love, having a friendship with him is just not worth it.
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Its not specific to first love, humans usually remember their "firsts" be it love, job, teacher, spanking, GPL from girl, salary and list goes on....
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exactly, it’s common for humans. But you are losing something precious and impossible to build again. Your husband & kids.
You have no idea, but you are cheating on your spouse right now. Why oh why.. you women have no brain 
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OP, would you be ok if your husband who you love sooo much was buddies with his married first love? i bet you wouldn't like that at all right?
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Good to know nobody here keeps friendship with their exes. LOL.
Thequestion: Maintaining this distant friendship = going down a slippery slope. What if there comes a time when you have disagreements or a rough patch with your husband? You WILL end up turning to an alternative source of emotional support in your life. And that is cheating if it's a guy. But that will happen ONLY if you do keep an alternative. So, don't.
How would you like it if your husband kept friendship with an ex?
If you have a doubt about this question, then you know your answer.
Close that door, lock it, and throw the key away.
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muje to aaj tak sacha pyar he nahie mila, to sochna kia hai :'(
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always remember that your relationship with your sweet hubby is more important.
Yeah Mon!
Yay hui na baaat :D