Problem

[decent_Felow]

Re: Problem

@amana

Lajjo, that post was incredibly rude, to say the least, and filled with assumptions. How do you know that Zash is incapable of adjusting - and how do you know that her husband is “simple” or willing to adjust? How do you know that she will be living in and “assimilating” with his family at all. A lot of guys who marry girls from the west end up moving here.

Did you have a bad experience with a girl who was too “fast” for you, because that’s about the only thing I can deduce from your post.

Zash - Communication is always difficult when you begin a marriage. The guy may be intimidated, feel badly because he can’t communicate well with you, or nervous at the prospect of moving to the west, if that is the plan. Since you never spoke before marriage, you may not be what he was expecting either.

Give it time and try to let him set the pace of communication for a little while. Don’t ask too many questions right away or come on too strongly. A little shyness on your part (even if you have to fake it) may encourage him to take the initiative in conversations. Perhaps e-mail communication would work better for you for a little while.

If you have done the nikkah, and not just an engagement, then you know how difficult it will be to walk away from this. However, if after a few more months of conversation and a lot of istikhara and prayers, you still feel that this marriage is not right, the time to do something about it is now, before the rukhsati.

i gues lajooo is quite right …if her hubby is uneducated …then obviously ths was her fault …if he is educated then he definately adjust himself with time ..i dont knw .Y gals expect sooo much …hubby be insaan hotai koi machine nahi hotai …Nikah ka waqat agar kese ne zabardastii to nahi kee nah ..app ki marziii se sub kush howa …Nw Qismat mai ap ka liya goo kush tha woo mil giya …bus allah ka sukar adaa karai …other than * chote chote batao ko isue banieng*… Nw u beter

Just beter consider urself where u stand ..when u just shifted to… abroad…Culture remain the same … might be he is billions tim better then u … dont just gues things till the u met him knw him personally …I gues u must be thankful to God ka app koo jii jii kernah wala hubby mila…yaha too aisaa be hai ..Gooo app kooo kia app kiii poooree family kooo nachaa dain ..Ub agar woo is tarah fast nahi hai to phir be problem …anyway dont take these comments ..personal…Agar app ka hubby nalieq hai too yeh basically ap ki family ka blunder hai ka they didnt find the right person for their daughter ……Us becharai ka kiya Qasooor hai …woo too app see itnay honor or respect se baat ker raha hai ji ji ker ka …or app samajnee kii koshish ker hee nahi rahe ……take ur tim …Or reality mai jeeenah seeekh lai ub

[queenbee2007]

Re: Problem

u did nikkah and u never spoke to the guy beforehand???? how was that a good idea?

i mean marring someone from pakistan when ur brought up here is a bit challenging but not impossible by any means depending on the person...people adapt and change quickly u just have to give them a bit of time and help....

but now that nikkah is done..u have to be really patient, compromise and help him to understand ur values and the things u are accustomed to. if all else fails....suffer in this as u did not to proper research or divorce...thats really all ur options.

[decent_Felow]

Re: Problem

[QUOTE]
u have to be really patient, compromise and help him to understand ur values and the things u are accustomed to. if all else fails....suffer in this as u did not to proper research or divorce...thats really all ur options.
[/QUOTE]

thats wht i mean ... Now be patient and hope for the best ...

[artdeco]

Re: Problem

Hi

I recently wrote abt my friend who broke her engagement due to almost same problems as urs...She was engaged to one who was actually living in europe for almost 6-7 years, but still he had this same typical mentality....Even this person was edicated and came from ok family (middle class) from Pakistan, still he was lika "jee jee" person. I am glad she broke her engagement, even she is beeing blamed for distryoing her family's izzat...

I would advise you to reconsider your engagement/nikkah. Instead of a divorce after 2-3 years (maybe then you have a child) , it would be better to take this decision NOW.....Yeah family/ppl adround you will blame you for alot (will be difficult)...

Good luck!