Pressure to have kids

[Paheli00]

Re: Pressure to have kids

@ruby17

yeah I’ve tried to be very vague and say yes inshallah we plan to have kids and then they still start with stories about how they had less energy for their 5th kid at 40 then their first kid at 20 or how x friend of theirs couldn’t have a child or had a child with disabilities or whatever at an older age. It’s all obviously laden with judgement and you can’t not say anything at all and be silent. Sometimes I do think off just saying “yes thank you for sharing” but I feel like that would come across as being short and rude.

When desis ask when you’re having kids, the best thing to do is smile and say “Jab Allah Ki marzi.” No need to explain yourself further. This is a private matter that should stay between you and your husband. The fact that people ask about this, it’s basically asking indirectly about your sex life. I find it very rude.

if they continue with their story, simply smile, nod and change the topic. You could smile and thank them for sharing. You could also say how their story shows that everything happens “jab Allah ki marzi.” But if you don’t want to say anything, just smile and nod.

P.S. I’m well into my 30’s and I get asked this all the frigging time. Nip the topic in the bud. When you explain anything, it makes people think you want their opinion.