mall
October 25, 2009, 8:16pm
51
Mall, I KNOW that aunties in general can say the most jaahil and tactless things…let alone monster-in-laws.
Take a DEEP DEEP breath and calm down. And count your blessings. You’re going to be a mom…and hopefully a more sensible one than your MIL. This unnecessary tension is not good for you…it’s not good for your baby…it’s not good for your marriage. Plus…you live far away from her. Count that among your BIGGEST of blessings. Imagine if you had to live under the same roof as her and hear such comments on a regular basis.
Now, let’s talk about your MIL’s comments about “qadam.” Islam clearly prohibits belief in superstitions and omens. There’s really no concept such as “lucky” or “unlucky” considering that everything happens according to Allah’s will. So, if you’re experienced some misfortune…Allah willed it. Although one has to accept responsibility for their own actions as well. Often times, you will find that things go wrong even when we have tried our utmost best to make them go right. It’s because…ultimately…Allah controls our destiny. Your MIL is being very PETTY …because even after FOUR YEARS …she’s still holding a grudge about the fire. Instead of thanking Allah that nobody got seriously hurt by the fire…she’s going around attributing incidents to luckiness of people. Basically, Mall, your MIL is committing SHIRK! How? Well, she’s implying through her jahil comments that it is not Allah…but us humans whose (luckiness or unluckiness) determines fate/kismat in life. And **SHIRK **is the one and only sin that is not forgiven unless the person realizes their mistake and repents.
I know it’s easier said than done. But don’t let your MIL get to you. Because you have so much to be thankful for and to look forward to. First of all, you don’t believe that people are “lucky” or “unlucky”. Thank Allah for your stronger Iman. You have a happy marriage and a growing family to look forward to…away from your MIL. I believe in the power of what goes around comes around…and sooner or later people get what’s coming for their idiocies. The next time you talk to your MIL…very calmly and nicely and CASUALLY…tell her,** “Ammi/Aunti…a new life is a blessing from Allah whenever it takes place. Everything in life happens according to His will and our kadams and hands are nothing compared to that. That is my basic iman and I’m happy and grateful to Him for being a mom soon.” **
^If your **husband **believes in this “kadam” nonsense…then try to guide him so that he can attempt guiding his mom when she makes such stupid comments. He shouldn’t be supporting her stupid comments just because she’s his mommy. Here is a verse you can use for guidance:
The Holy Qur’ân states: “No misfortune can happen on earth nor (afflict) your souls, but is recorded in a Book (long) before We bring it into existence; that is truly easy for Allâh”.
Nabi sallallahu alayhi wasallam stated: “He is not of us who seeks evil omens or for whom evil omens are sought …..” (Tabraani).
thx alot for ur reply. i dunno if this is shirk or not but 90 percent of our women believe in kadam. and its not just my MIL i guess sub conciously i believe in it too but unlike her i wud never say anything like that to someone in my place. hell, i wudnt even like being said my kadam were gud for some other bahu of our family.