How real is it?
Is it common?
Is it more in your mind, than reality?
Why wold you be depressed when you have a baby on the way?
I ask, mainly because I know someone currently pregnant, in her first trimester still. And she says she’s depressed. Now, she’s been trying for over a year to get pregnant, prayed very hard because she desperately wanted a baby. and finally that shes on her way to having a baby in the near future, I thought she would be elated. But in fact, she barely feels any joy. I’m starting to think it’s in her head mainly, and just thinks she’s depressed, when she’s not. But I wouldn’t know.
The hormonal changes might be causing her to be sad or be overly sensitive. I am and was very sensitive and emotional during both my pregnancies and yes sad as well. I got upset very quickly and was sad about the smallest things.
I had the same problem, after a miscarriage, took me close to a year to get pregnant even though doctor said you can try right away. After a few months, I started thinking there is something wrong with me!
Now that I am expecting again and getting closer to the big day, I am feeling a lot more relaxed with each passing day. I live by myself as well so it can be stressful. Ask her if there is something bothering her? Nausea and not being able to cope with pregnancy symptoms can be stressful. Having no energy can bother you. Is it the work or household chores?
Motivate her by suggesting she does meditation, walking and swimming can help her lift her mood. Tell her it definitely does get better in the 2nd trimester. Maybe finding a maid to help her with household chores can help a bit? Volunteer somewhere, if she is lonely, to have something to look forward to.
She should also mention this to her doctor.
Thank God, my hormonal changes have been physical, and I have not been very emotional. Except for the day, I was too tired to cook and while frying something, the oil started flying everywhere from the pan. I couldn’t be bothered with the clean up after so I started crying! I called my husband at work multiple times, left a message saying he doesn’t love me and does nothing for me. The hubby came home running and cleaned up all the mess while I cried to sleep. After I woke up, I felt so guilty about everything, I wanted to avoid him.
So yea, a few psychotic moments are normal. Hormones.
awww.. yes I've heard emotions are heightened too ...
that's exactly what I told her to do, to be more active !! when the weather was nice, I said to go out and take a stroll, and to watch a good show when she has time, or pick up a book etc.
she doesn't do household chores cuz she has a maid for that, her current daughter, her family takes care of (on a daily basis).. everything she and her hubby eat is from restaurants... so its not like shes really stressed with doing anything at home !!
Well then too much time on her hands is the problem. If you can't encourage her to be active, encourage her to share this with her doctor. I spoke to my doctor, after my 2nd trimester started, about exercise and she suggested 120 minutes of walking/swimming/aquatic exercise/yoga. This is while I do the cleaning and cooking myself.
Tell her it is important to stay active, so she doesn't face emotional and psychological problems as well as physical problems! It's going to be my 1st baby (inshallah) yet I have been told to stay active to make the recovery easy after labour. Moving around and exercise will keep the muscles strong which is so important.
The depression is not in her head and it should not be taken lightly. It’s not something she can just “snap out of”. This is a serious thing that can easily get out of control and end up having a negative effect her her and the baby. This also puts her at a high risk for postpartum depression. If she has not already, she really needs to let her OB know what’s going on and come up with a treatment plan.
^ Of course, but keeping yourself busy with constructive things is going to help. Exercise and meditation can help a lot as well in regulating hormones a little bit. And restaurant food is never as healthy as homemade. I can relate to her case to an extent, the waiting game after a m/c while desi aunties suggest you see a doctor because something maybe wrong. At that point, you just want to say $%^# you. 1st trimester is so much more difficult but you have to push yourself to manage your diet well, keep busy and as active as possible without making yourself sick.
It is all worth it when the doctor, tests and ultrasounds confirm that your little bundle of joy AND YOU are both doing well. Nothing is more uplifting than that. You got to take care of yourself and your little one first. Anything odd, or something that goes against your normal behaviour, must be reported to the doctor.
Also, OP, where is the husband in all of this? So odd, he is okay with her being inactive and eating out all the time. He should be motivating and pushing her to take care of herself well. Take her out for shopping, have her read books, take her out on a drive or closer to the nature, even like a park.
Yes, depression during pregnancy is a real thing. And one does not have to have a real problem as such to be depressed. As for resturant food, I can relate. I was very very sick during pregnancy and could only tolerate bland western style American food during pregnancy. With no one to help out, I got food mostly from restaurants. I was lucky to have halal restaurants nearby.
I spoke to my doctor, after my 2nd trimester started, about exercise and she suggested 120 minutes of walking/swimming/aquatic exercise/yoga. This is while I do the cleaning and cooking myself.
Also, OP, where is the husband in all of this? So odd, he is okay with her being inactive and eating out all the time. He should be motivating and pushing her to take care of herself well. Take her out for shopping, have her read books, take her out on a drive or closer to the nature, even like a park.
the husband is just as inactive as she. they barely go out together, or do any activities. it's mainly, work, home, hang out at home, do the same thing the next day
she doesn't do household chores cuz she has a maid for that, her current daughter, her family takes care of (on a daily basis).. everything she and her hubby eat is from restaurants... so its not like shes really stressed with doing anything at home !!
I am getting depressed reading all that she doesn't have to do :{ tell her to enjoy her life and start preparing for her baby. If she doesn't get out of this depression mood, thn talk to her doctor for sure.
^^ exactly.. she doesn't do any work, has an easy life mA, she says so herself... then, this.
this is why I was thinking, maybe the depression thing is just in her head.. you know, one of those people who likes fitting stereotypes and statistics.. it upsets me cuz im like, you really have no reason to complain besides the morning sickness etc, stuff like that..
^^ easy in the sense that she is living in America, as she would if she were back home.. no housework (including no cooking, cleaning, very little grocery shopping for snacks etc), has a child but she is taken care of by others (several days a week overnight), very well off so money is never an object…
whilst being depressed, no, she wouldn’t admit it.. apparently it’s hard being in her shoes
soo.. yes, an easy life.
those pregnancy hormones must be a real killer to be depressed in that situation
