Some questions I need help with at the point i am.
1 - I literally have a phobia of childbirth. Don’t take me wrong but Ive always been a pain freak, even one cut is big stuff for me. I am trying for a long time but my mind is not getting prepared to go through the procedure. I am not pregnant, want to be but the thought of how painful it will be scares me so much. Of course, I am well aware of the outcome & the gift & I don’t want to sound thankless as well. But to be mentally prepared for it is something important for me and its been months & months and I am still not able to convince my own self. Any views girls?
2 - What changes did you go through during pregnancy? What essentials did you take care of before conceiving? I know of folic acid .. what else?
3 - My husband is a UK citizen so does that mean even if i give birth to a child in Pakistan, the baby will inherit the citizen ship or he has to be born in UK for that?
4 - This question is for my bhabi who is expecting. Did anyone take Epidural? If yes, did it leave any side effects that you know of?
well when i was pregnant i was bit afraid of childbirth but i would always console myself each n every woman goes through this process, then why cant me, and yes i took epidural it was heaven for me, delivery became so soothing n allhumdullah no side effects.
Exactly my thoughts before I got pregnant..I was scared to death. Then I got pregnant, had a horrible pregnancy and I was sooo ready to give birth..once I was full term I was ready to have that baby even if it meant he had to come out from my nostrils...I strongly believe that nothing but last few weeks of pregnancy prepare you for child birth! Now with epidural n all that, you don't have to go through the natural birth n feel it all ( trust me no award for that). I enjoyed my labor, I really did, and I was dong pretty well..but I took the epidural when I just couldn't take it anymore..I was 8 cm at that time and midwife tied to tell me that I could do the rest but I still wanted one and they gave it to me..no one told me it wa stoo late to ask for one! I am not sure if it wasn't the side effect or what but I started to shiver, my bp dropped very low, and in the meantime baby went into distress..I ended up with a c section but I don't blame the epi..I even asked the in if it was due to epi and he said no, not at all! note! Epidural can be tricky if the anesthesiologist isn't an expert..I had heard great things about the anesthesiologist here so I knew I was okay..and it didn't hurt at all to take one..not everyone's experience is the same!
I had lots of issues, ranging from the normal throwing up until 17 weeks to leg cramps for about 20 weeks, herniated disc plus gallstones but that was one of the rare occurrences so don't consider that..I also couldn't take folic acids in the first few months so sometimes I blamed myself for not preparing my body for this..I may had a better pregnancy if I had prepared my body with iron, vitamins, folic acid so please do take that... Your baby will take it from you if you don't provide it to him and then it's downhill for you!
Don't know about uk
I had epidural.. I don't believe that I had any side effects! My back hurt a lot but it was due to herniated disc n I m not sure if epi made it any worse any way!
I think its ok that you are scared of childbirth...every first timemom would be....i was not veryscared of small or big cuts or injections but was very scared of delivery!.....n i have seen manywomen who cantbear small pains but went well throughout so relax:)..........................epidural has no sideeffects my friends n relatives have taken it n they r totally fine.....
Its ok to be scared of childbirth, it is painful and hard but you know what, most women experience it and they end up fine. thats what i told myself when my labour started and all went well. it seems undoable when the pain starts , but your body knows what to do when the time comes. i actually never gave much thought to the whole childbirth part until my real labour started, i just knew it would happen and hoped and prayed it would go well , and it did (Alhumdulilah).
2) again, i didn't really give much thought to what i had to do before i got pregnant, it was only after that i started to take some precautions. but people say to take folic acid before getting pregnant too, so i guess thats a good thing. keeping your weight in check is always good too i guess.
the changes i went though pregnancy werent a whole lot. i did have some issues that jeopardized my whole pregnancy and for the longest time i thought i would lose the baby but that probably won't happen to you since i was a rare case. i did get numerous contractions (painless stomach tightening) during the course of my pregnancy, which not everyone has but i didn't mind it since it didn't really affect my pregnancy at all. i didn't gain much weight either but be prepared for that. you will pee a lot, and i mean A LOT , i know i did.
3) i don't know about UK.
4.) i got an epi when i was bout 5 cms and it worked fairly well till i delivered. no long lasting side effects . no pain afterwards. couldn't regain control of my legs for a few hours or my bladder for that matter :P but that fixed itself. i do feel thogh that my labour progressed more slowly because of the epidural since i didn't know or feel how hard i was pushing. perhaps i won't take it my second time around. the pain prior to the epidural was bad but now that i think of it , it was bearable.i was just worried that if my labour was too long , i would be exhausted by the end and not be able to push and would end up with a c-section, so i took it.
Best is to give birth in UK, because they have quite some laws around childbirth and citizenship. It all depends on how your husband got the citizenship, how long time he has lived in UK if he is not living there atm. But if the husband is a british national (not by inheritence) then the child will be british citizen at birth through his father. There wont be any issues if the child goes on to live in UK too at some times for at least 3 years. The issues will rise though if the child is going to stay in pakistan with the british citizenship, because this way he wont be able to give it down to his children in future. I think in the later case there is some issue with university fees etc etc. My brother has gone through this process.
So basically, if daddy is british citizen living in UK or have lived in UK for 3 years --> baby will be british citizen regardless of birthplace.
you won't know what pregnancy is like until you're pregnant and same goes for childbirth. i know it sounds obvious, but really every pregnancy is different and everyone's experience is different with it, so its hard to say what yours will be like. i wasn't scared of childbirth- i basically didn't think about it at all. i freaked out when they told me to go home, pack, and come back for the induction, but it was kind of too late for tears then :p
regardless of whether its a natural birth, one with an epidural, or a c-section- the kid's gotta come out and you are strong enough for that, trust me! it will be fine insha'Allah.
things you can do to prepare otherwise are be as physically fit as possible. i've seen it firsthand, and i firmly believe, that the fitter you are, the better and quicker your recovery post-childbirth. start slowly with physical exercise but aim to tone and build muscle and yes, take your folic acid for at least two months prior to trying to conceive. it needs to be in your body already for it to benefit the child since the kiddo really needs it the first few weeks. eat well and take care of yourself.
i did take the epidural and i had no side effects. i did have very low blood pressure post-birth but i'm not sure what caused that. i also had a 15 hour labour and maybe my body was just exhausted? mind you, i'm also prone to always having low blood pressure so it might just have been an existing condition that was amplified by the labour and delivery i went through.
oh also, why would you want to give birth in pakistan?? stay in the UK and have your baby there. i would think the healthcare system would be better there than in pakistan.
^lol oh yeah that reminded me I was in labor, in hospital, and didnt want to change into hospital clothes.. I told my hsubandthat I wanted to go back home :D he looked at me and said, yeah we will go back but not without the baby and thats when it hit me that the baby is gonna come out anytime now.. too late to be scared of this :D
How long does the epidural lasts?? I mean ppl say that they had a 24 hour labour ended up in epidural but no 1 tells how long after taking epidural did they give birth. How long your body remains numb?
Daffy, I was scared too but I took the epidural and it was all fine. The initial pains aren't bad more like period cramps for most people. In the UK they encourage you to take the "gas" and that helps. If not, epidural is still there even if its not as common as the US. I think if you give birth in Pakistan, the baby should still be a UK citizen but check. Its better to give birth in the UK, I would say.
I had a bad pregnancy, extreme fatigue, nausea vomiting etc. hut not all women go through this. before pregnancy take pre natal vitamins, these have other vitamins besides folic acid. Go for long walks or exercise.
I would say if I can go through child birth then any one can and yes the pain, , its a valid concern, why shouldn't it be, its your body.
People who were asking about how long epidural lasts, as long as your labor does. The doctors increase the dosage if need be.
Don't worry about pain...let nature take its course. Sometime we worry about things that are not in our control. Educate yourself and take care of yourself and pray to Allah .
Jo hona heyh woh toh hona hey. Be more concerned with starting a family. I think that the mental prep for the pain actually takes place only once you are preggers. Otherwise you are just too plain scared to contemplate it. And it just isn't possible to mentally prepare for.
@heydou, I probably had my epidural about 10 hours before I delivered. My legs were numb another hour or so after that. They had to help me to the wheelchair. But don't worry, it's not like you'll be walking around right after having baby anyway. You'll be in bed
I was like you. I wanted to get pregnant and have a baby so badly but I was terrified at the thought of the pain I would have to endure during childbirth.
I'm the biggest chicken on the planet when it comes to pain. I have extremely low pain tolerance so the last month of my pregnancy all I could think about was how the heck am I going to get the baby out?
To be honest, childbirth is painful and difficult yes, but it is nothing that is impossible or unbearable. When you are in the situation you learn to cope and you do your best to get the baby out regardless of the circumstances. If you have the epi early on it will help ease the pain quite a bit.
The hardest part for me was the pushing. It is not as painful as it is uncomfortable.
Also people scared me that the "recovery" stage of childbirth would be very painful for quite some time. Alhumdolilah 2.5 weeks after having my baby girl, I'm feeling totally fine. In fact, I think by 2 weeks the pain "down there" was gone and it wasn't even that bad to begin with (and that is after having an episiotomy).
@wendydarling -- kick me but I did a happy dance (literally) an hour after childbirth. I was soooooooooooooooo happy to have had completed the cycle and I felt so accomplished. The next day though I was sore as hell like I had a really hard workout never in pain though.
The reason for considering birth in Pakistan is the horror stories Ive heard of UK. They let you be in terrible pain till the very last breath when you can't handle it any more & that's when they would give something like an Epidural or go for a C-section. Epidural i've hardly heard of anyone get here even if they had asked for it. One reason is that, second is that though the facilities may not be equivalent but the amount of help you can get from people always readily available to you in Pakistan is valuable - everyone is there without appointments that go on for months etc. Also, that you have family & helpers around.
So far none of you got severe side effects of epidural then?
As for citizenship, its not by inheritance. He has worked here for more than 7 years so got the citizenship.
The reason for considering birth in Pakistan is the horror stories Ive heard of UK. They let you be in terrible pain till the very last breath when you can't handle it any more & that's when they would give something like an Epidural or go for a C-section. Epidural i've hardly heard of anyone get here even if they had asked for it. One reason is that, second is that though the facilities may not be equivalent but the amount of help you can get from people always readily available to you in Pakistan is valuable - everyone is there without appointments that go on for months etc. Also, that you have family & helpers around.
So far none of you got severe side effects of epidural then?
As for citizenship, its not by inheritance. He has worked here for more than 7 years so got the citizenship.
I had a great experience delivering in the UK. The midwifery unit was ahmazing. They were so supportive and so nice. I had it all natural. Just air and gas..it was hard but nothing impossible. Being a doc I wouldnt advice you to deliver in pak even in pvt hospitals. Been there and witnessed deliveries paid a mint of money for and yet gone horrible. Also the post childbirth care isnt good either.
Secondly, you would have to go through naturalization process by applying via ukba and going through the hassle of application and all. But in the UK, you would just need to give about £30-40 and your baby would be a brit citizen.
I had a great experience delivering in the UK. The midwifery unit was ahmazing. They were so supportive and so nice. I had it all natural. Just air and gas..it was hard but nothing impossible. Being a doc I wouldnt advice you to deliver in pak even in pvt hospitals. Been there and witnessed deliveries paid a mint of money for and yet gone horrible. Also the post childbirth care isnt good either.
Secondly, you would have to go through naturalization process by applying via ukba and going through the hassle of application and all. But in the UK, you would just need to give about £30-40 and your baby would be a brit citizen.
Thanks Enigma for giving me the first hand knowledge. The fact about not giving epidurals and making you go through the pain is true about UK hospitals?
Daffy,i dont think you should get scared of these stories of childbirth in uk rather you should opt for uk,because They wait for people to deliver naturally,unlike in pak where they just rush to do c-section to avoid your screams n shouts.....gyn in uk/us try their best to avoid csection thats why they wait till very lasy when there is ACTUALLY a need for operation.....