Hello all!
So I rarely post here, but I am a regular viewer. You guys seem to be AMAZING at offering different perspectives when it comes to wedding dilemmas. So heres my predicament.
I am hindu/punjabi, and have been raised in america all my life. When my parents got here they became very close to a huge group of families that are all muslim/punjabi. We have grown up very very very close to these families, in fact they are like our extended family. We do have a network of hindu/punjabi families, however we are not close to them in the way that we are with our muslim family friends. So it goes without saying that their traditions during weddings (which are only slightly different, being that we are both punjabi) have more influence over me than the traditional hindu/punjabi approach to doing things.
For example, in a typical hindu/punjabi wedding, we do not have a HUUUGE mehndi in which both the girls and boys side are present. Its usually a small to medium affair, at home (dholki style) with only your side. most of the dancing and ronak takes place at the wedding reception in a very impersonal enviornment. However, with most of my family friends being muslim, they do not feel comfortable dancing at the wedding reception, which will have everyone and their mom’s invited! So, I want to fuse the traditions I have been brought up with (mixture of traditional hindu/punjabi and muslim/punjabi), but of course I am worried about the cost and spacing the functions out. Here is what I am thinking when it comes to the itinerary of the all the functions I will have for my wedding.
Mayoon - at home, simple, dholki style.
Sangeet night (my mixture of ladies sangeet and pakistani mehndi) - full pakistani style, in a hall with both sides invited. However to keep things intimate, I will invite ladies only on our hindu side, and invite men and families on our muslim side. since we are all so close, its like the men are “ghar ke aadmi”, and having them there is so much more important to me than our hindu uncles. This will give my cousins (family friends on muslim side) to do their dances and item numbers. As far as rasms go, I guess we can go ahead and have mehndi for people to put on me and my fiance (on a paan ka patha). I also plan on catering some dishes from a local pakistani restaurant that is simply amazing!
Mehndi - an intimate affair with ladies only at home, where I actually get my mehndi done and have my cousins get theirs done too. this will be more dholki style.
Wedding - full traditional hindu ceremony in the evening, followed by dinner. I have a few things in mind as far as entertainment goes, as the theme is us bringing punjab to the US. I want to incorporate some very punjabi, folk traditions into the evening. I know everyone will enjoy this.
Reception - my dream, elegant, sophisticated, but still desi style reception. More dances (from his side), speeches, slideshow, and of course the fun part – where everyone dances!
how do i fit all these into a week? thats alot for a family to do without passing out before the week is over! any suggestions on how i can mix the two styles of doing things? your help is MUCH MUCH appreciated!
Thank you so much in advance, and good luck to everyone else in their wedding planning!