Salam All - I dont normally venture outside the Cricket forums but couldnt resist any more !
Enjoy
**:halo: **
Pre-requisites for being a Pakistani politician
So I started to think (tough call that one) - if I wanted to give up my humdrum life and do something useful for my country - why not become a politician and lead my nation out of the current quagmire ?
What would I need to be a successful politician in Pakistan?
Heres my (shopping) list - see if you can add more:
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Money - lots of it - family or ill gotten wealth would be equally fine
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Muscle power - and I am talking about people who can scare the living daylights out of ordinary voters - to make them vote for me
3.Education - lower the better - although reading the full works of William Bhutto and Emanual Sharif or a mastery of the life and times of Benazir will be the perfect adjunct to my Metric 3rd Division degree
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Moustache - a la - Altaf Hussain will encourage women with similar problems to sit and listen to my MP3 broadcasts, once I go into a fashionable exile in another country - away from the comforts and love of my people - preferably UK or the US
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Which brings me to the idea of another passport - this will help me in galavanting across the world to make known the plight of the ghareebs and the workers in my country (obviously with money I can do this from the discomfort of 7 star hotels around the world)
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Love of Music and the fine arts - why not ? After a hard day of politicizing most issues in this world, a little dance and a few recreational beverages will do just fine
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Religion ? In todays Pakistan, this is so necessary - to prove my piety. I will make frequent visits to all possible shrines in Pakistan - throw in a trip to the Saudi embassy as if I am about to go for Umrah - a little computer magic and I am sure I can replace Sharifs face from some old Umrah picture with my own ? and yes, a second wife will prove my credentials without fail.
So whats left now ?
Ah yes, that “agenda” thingy that nosy journalists ask so much about.
Challo, so heres mine:
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Remove poverty - these homeless type people living on streets need to be shot immediately - they are eyesores and bring shame to our country - use them for medical research ?
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Provide Education - a lot of uselss money spent on stupid things such as Maths etc - What about the University of Life ? Hell, I will close down all these Unis and get kids to work from 14.
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Health etc ? We are fine there, our best guys ie my friends are nice and fat - nothing to worry about - as is, GOD takes care of these things (hence the Religious angle)
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Defence: This is of utmost importance - I will devote 99.9% of our budget to building new houses in Defence Societies in every city - very important for all.
Finally, all that remains is a call to the US Ambassador to order a coup in the country…
Ladies and Gentleman - pls welcome the next Prime Minister, President, Awami Khidtmatgar of Pakistan - Janab-e-Ali - GreenAadmi.
