A serious thread for once. Considering so many threads about women complaining about men and the whole jahez/mahr issue why don’t you discuss the formation of a pre-nup?
Re: Pre-nup
dont the conditions get written in the nikkah papers?
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A pre-nup applies to all wealth sharing through out the period of the marriage. Nikkah from what I know is not as advanced or detailed.
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A lot of Arabs do v.detailed nikkah contracts outlining distribution of wealth during marriage (some women even specify how many holidays they would like every year) + in the case of divorce which can obviously also act as pre-nups in those countries where they're legally valid or can be enforced, it's a good idea imo..
Re: Pre-nup
Since most of our desi marriages are arranged, I don't understand why they don't get a pre-nup! And if the guy/girl is not giving it to you then clearly you should not be marrying him/her.
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Now Gaia I agree with that. A pre-nup is simply a legally binding document stating you shall treat your wife fairly. But the question is how acceptable would it be in Pakistani society.
I would personally like to get one when I get married. One that eliminates the desire for Jahez, I don't believe in the concept. But whatever is given during the wedding as gifts and such belongs to the future Mrs. CM.
Just buy everything and put it under your dad's name.
I know a guy who did that and when he did get a divorce his wife couldnt do sh*t...lolz.
Just buy everything and put it under your dad's name.
I know a guy who did that and when he did get a divorce his wife couldnt do sh*t...lolz.
I'm sure he's so proud of himself!
Re: Pre-nup
^ Exactly
Now Gaia I agree with that. A pre-nup is simply a legally binding document stating you shall treat your wife fairly. But the question is how acceptable would it be in Pakistani society.
I would personally like to get one when I get married. One that eliminates the desire for Jahez, I don't believe in the concept. But whatever is given during the wedding as gifts and such belongs to the future Mrs. CM.
See I think if someone gives it a try it could be acceptable. If women stood up for themselves, or their fathers understood their daughters rights, it would definitely be acceptable. However with the majority of desi mentality, the wife/daughter is left out of the picture as if she is not an adult and therefore is unable to make decisions for her future.
This also links in with the fact: women don't have any choice before marriage(because fathers control their future) and they also do not have any choice after(because no matter what she is not expected to leave her husband), even if she does her father will cut her off. Thus, leading to an abusive husband, who knows that he's got full control over her, including her assets.
I just went a little off topic but people, if your gonna go with the arranged route also go for the pre-nup route!!
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Because when even goras look down and gasp at the thought of a prenup, can u expect anything better from our desis?
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A nikkah nama is very similar to a pre-nup, and it would be completely appropriate to discuss future wealth distribution in it. Most desis just don't have enough knowledge of Islamic marriage fiqh.
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How should one bring this topic up though? It's such a sensitive issue. You don't wanna sound greedy, or scheming to the inlaws... but you still want to discuss such matters.