So, I have discovered a different interpretation of why we have all these pre-nikkah events, like mehndi, dolki, mayoun, etc.
Well, do you notice that in these events (USUALLY) the dulha and dulhan are not both present together at the same time in the same room even?
I hypothesize that the whole purpose of these events is not to keep the two away because God forbid they start reproducing like rabbits in the middle of the mehndi stage, but rather to build up the suspense and desire that would be present on the wedding night.
I think it will be interesting to research why such premarrige gatherings are there in hindus? But on the whole I think present day its only bout fun and (spending useless money)
Yeah, to an extent its now also about flaunting the paisa and showing off, but I think the building up suspense reason is why the practices evolved in the first place.
Sara traditionally in such events the bride n groom arent present.
For the bride its cause traditionally bari aunties say that if a namehram sees the bride while she is in the mayoon period then she wont have any noor on her face on her wedding day
duno bout the guy though, the only male side of wedding i attended was my chahcas when i was seven.
I remember all aunties running after chacha rubbing ubtun on him but dont remember him present on the actual mehndi.
Which reminds me of the Mayoon event.
I think its quite sweet cause i remember my aunty got married and that was the only mayoon i’ve ever attended and felt special cause i was next in line getting married so every body treated me so nicely.
all the sober aunties even my dadi amma who is a jamaati meaning she doesnt leave the house without her whole shuttlecock chaddar outfit went ballistic and started having ubtan fights and rubbing ubtan on each other including all the family men present.
Quite a few people these days are doing just one event - mehndi or dholki where both the bridge and groom are present and sitting together.
I’m being forced to do a mehndi ceremony when I really don’t care for one grrrrr…I need a mehndi double kind of like a stunt double to sit in for me and eat faltoo mithai
PCG, in my fantasy life...i will choose a beautiful girl for each of my boys, and each one will have a match that lasts for a lifetime of love! And, in this fantasy, all 3 boys will have that buildup to their wedding night which will be the most astounding night of their lives. You are right...about what it should and can mean and INSHALLAH thats how it will be for my boys....I just wonder whether it may not be that way all the time for those who have their marriages arranged for them. NOT that MY boys would ever rebel against this idea!! lol! not MINE!! I SO hope that I can have the forebearance to "DEALWITH IT LADY" if it ever comes down to it....cause even tho i'm a gori, I DO so like the idea of arranged marriage.
Control? I dont know mr K. I do so want my boys to be happy in their lives. Even if the wife that would make them happy is not who I would personally choose. I dont know...it would be so very lovely to have a say in the whole thing since I really and truly beleive that no one knows my boys better than i do. If I need to one day face a nikkah that I dont agree with then INSHALLAH, I will have the strength to forebear, not complain and accept .... but SO very much nicer if my boys look to me to see whether I am approving or not. I just want good matches for them, want them to be so happy in their lives...you who have kiddies already, you know what I mean....yeah Iguess Im a srtange gori, I was always strange I think...but always wanted nothing but the best for those I love :)
^ aww thats sweet...of course every parent wants the best for their children. Thats what mine are always saying altho i might not agree with them (in fact i'm fairly sure i won't agree with any boys they think as suitable son-in-law - but will deal with that when the times!)
I disagree. That might be partly the point, not the whole.
Personally, I think it depends on the people. And most of them do it to have a good time. Thats all. Fun, family, food, laughter, singing, dancing. Something to geth together and simply enjoy.
Well, do you notice that in these events (USUALLY) the dulha and dulhan are not both present together at the same time in the same room even?
I hypothesize that the whole purpose of these events is not to keep the two away because God forbid they start reproducing like rabbits in the middle of the mehndi stage, but rather to build up the suspense and desire that would be present on the wedding night.
Well, that's my thesis on the topic. takes a bow
really? in all the pre-nikkah events that i have attended the bride and groom to be were present...in fact they are usually sitting next to each other.
Don't forget the 'agar mehndi/mayoon nahi ki to log kya kahain gay' aspect of it.
I don't think it has anything to do with suspence. I find the idea of not going over to each others' houses (or meeting each other) with parents quite jaahilana.
