Pre-Meds and the Rishta Game

[soconfused]

Re: Pre-Meds and the Rishta Game

@PyariCgudia

My original question is do you think guys are being pressured into becoming doctors because of status and rishta process? That it makes these guys better catches?

I don’t know. Each matrimonial event I go to , the doctor boys are the worst to talk to. They can’t carry a conversation, most are angry and bitter and it shows, and they don’t have much free time to have a life. They have little to no qualify dating experience so they don’t even know how to talk to girls. They have this attitude of “I make a good salary you should be thankful you have the opportunity to talk to me”. Most I talked to don’t even have scientific inquiry or clinical practice interests anymore. They just are worn out and it shows.

But I am coming across a lot of guys who didn’t make it and when I ask them about it they say they weren’t interested in it in the first place. They did premed in college because parents made them and then they realized they can’t get a job with a bachelors in biology.

Yeah no kidding. Why did you do it in the first place? You should have done what actually interests you.

Yeah, there’s people like that. Some of these people DO make it in to medical school and they either don’t survive or just turn out more bitter and money-hungry by the end of it. I don’t think it’s a “title” thing for the guys’ themselves – it’s definitely family. Most of the guys here are from “legacy families” where they have every single member of their family practicing medicine. So the pressure is on.

It’s the same for some girls though. I had a friend here (who got dismissed for failing) that was here because her dad (who is a physician) would ONLY pay for higher education if it was med school. If they wanted to be lawyers/engineers, tough luck – they’re paying their own way through school. Needless to say, all 5 of them are in med school (and 2 of them are really struggling, with 1 of them just being dismissed).

@Sehrysh

^ Pakistani girl doctors are notoriously known for having studied just to get rishtas. I say this based on a relative’s admitted desire to up her rishta resume.

That being said, she moved to the U.S. and the free ride was over! She now practices in the U.S.

I thought someone once posted stats on women doctors in Pakistan and the number who abandoned the profession either right after getting their MBBS or doing their house job, because they got married and it was not compatible with their married life

I’ve heard of this too. Happened to some cousins. Got into school, found men, and then proceeded to drop out. there’s a few girls trying those same antics here too but I don’t think that works as well in the States because I haven’t met TOO many dr guys that want girls that sit at home and do nothing.

@Sehrysh

I also know a few families who literally waited it out until they could snag a doc-damaad for their daughter. And we’re talking about daughters who had just done their bachelors - which don’t get me wrong - I don’t mean “just a bachelors” in a derogatory manner. But, I could never understand the family’s insistence kai damaad HAD to be a doctor!

One girl married a guy about 12 - 15 years older and the other a guy with his MBBS (I don’t think the MBBS ever qualified as a doctor in North America) - but doctor to milgaya!

Yep. There’s this epidemic everywhere. There’s a LOT of single girls in our community (all with bachelors degrees…nothing wrong with that!) that aren’t getting married because their parents ONLY want a dr SIL. Which is problematic because the number of guy med students we have in the community is a big ol’ zero. So they’re just sitting around rejecting rishtas. One aunty (when my mom announced my engagement) upon finding out that my fiance is a dr went turned to her daughter/daughter’s friend and said " SoConfused found a doctor, now you have to find one too"…never mind the fact that fiance and I GO TO SCHOOL TOGETHER and I’m in medical school too lol. frustrating.