When us girls are chosing a life partner, especially if its with the help of our parents, we all hope that we will find someone who we ‘click’ with and someone who can provide for us in a more practical sense, i.e. they have a stable income, they wont be on a business trip for 50 weeks of the year and only home for 2 etc etc.
But if you had to chose one over the other what would you chose and why? in the long run what counts more?
Would you rather marry a person where you really get along and sparks fly but they have a mediocre job, will not be able to provide for you as well as your own parents have and if you work maybe you will have to be the bread winner
OR
A person who is pleasnt, nice but has some flaws and you dont really click but they have a fantastic job with excellent progression, financially stable.
If given such an option, I would go for someone with whom I click even if he has a mediocre job since there are chances of promotion, better job etc in the future. I can encourage my husband to enroll for higher education and this will hopefully help him to improve his career prospects. A person with a perfect career but with whom I didn't click will leave me with difficulty to adjust with him as it will take me longer to know the person and work harder to achieve a good married life.
If he was ambitious and motivated I'd go for sparks.. Like Ashy said he could get promoted and work his way up (and if you're working as well you'd have two wages coming in for the time being anyway and you could encourage him to do better)..
Wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life in a marriage just going thru the motions and just being married for the sake of it like a lot of my relatives..
I think we should give all our intellectual minds some rest once every now and then... I fail to understand the motive behind this thread, o wait, nvm.
Just one question, how do you make sure it is a 100% right click? I mean there are many parameters that govens when and how that click happens. Maybe he is being nice today, or maybe you are in a good loving mood, what if you find out 10 minutes later after saying yes, that it was a wrong click, or maybe not even a click?
I think we should give all our intellectual minds some rest once every now and then... I fail to understand the motive behind this thread, o wait, nvm.
was that supposed to be funny because maybe i am being dumb and missed it.
Im creating this thread because issues like this do come up in an arranged marriage situation and its nice to get different perspectives and experiences on the issue.
Respectfully: I will ask you at the end of this discussion what did you learn, or what opition did you come up with after all the perspectives and experiences.
was that supposed to be funny because maybe i am being dumb and missed it.
Im creating this thread because issues like this do come up in an arranged marriage situation and its nice to get different perspectives and experiences on the issue.
The first option, though I wouldn't want to be the breadwinner in the long term cuz a lot of men can't handle that due to pride and self esteem or whatver
I know several girls who went with option 1. The girls I personally know that did this....NOW after a few years of marriage and kids, they all regret it. No matter how much you "click" BEFORE marriage when you're two separate people, after marriage/kids (and any other emergency that may arise)....stress caused by money issues can make a marriage go south real fast.
I know several girls who went with option 1. The girls I personally know that did this....NOW after a few years of marriage and kids, they all regret it. No matter how much you "click" BEFORE marriage when you're two separate people, after marriage/kids (and any other emergency that may arise)....stress caused by money issues can make a marriage go south real fast.
and you can always marry someone for money and then they can lose that money (in whatever way) and it can make a marriage go south real fast :)
faster than the marriage of the two people
that married for compatibility; )
no mr. perfect and miss perfect dont exist.... ....but someone whose imperfect can be right for you....all you have to do is accept them and love them for their imperfections too (along with their good qualities) because those imperfections are just as much what make that person as are the good qualities
and you can always marry someone for money and then they can lose that money (in whatever way) and it can make a marriage go south real fast :)
faster than the marriage of the two people
that married for compatibility; )
Of course. There are no guarantees either way. It's all a matter of risk and what you're willing to risk. Some people are willing to risk a financially stable future for themselves and their future children b/c they're madly in love with a guy. And others would rather pick a "nice" guy who has a successful career and take that "risk" that the sparks will come in the future.
Neither choices are right or wrong.
Of course then there are those who're lucky enough to find the guy with whom sparks fly and he has a great career.
When us girls are chosing a life partner, especially if its with the help of our parents, we all hope that we will find someone who we 'click' with and someone who can provide for us in a more practical sense, i.e. they have a stable income, they wont be on a business trip for 50 weeks of the year and only home for 2 etc etc.
But if you had to chose one over the other what would you chose and why? in the long run what counts more?
Would you rather marry a person where you really get along and sparks fly but they have a mediocre job, will not be able to provide for you as well as your own parents have and if you work maybe you will have to be the bread winner
OR
A person who is pleasnt, nice but has some flaws and you dont really click but they have a fantastic job with excellent progression, financially stable.
First person. But if they don't have the ambition to do better than they are already doing, then that would make things difficult. Ambition to do better in life is important. But then, love is such a funny thing, if you put your heart to it, you can love a nice, regular guy who you don't seem to click with and change in ways so that you live harmoniously.