What questions did you ask a potential rishta or once you were engaged (because i take it some people did the questioning after the engagement)?
Re: potential Questions
^ oh that should be interesting 
i am waitin for replies now…as for myself i have no experience YET! and if things go my way i would perhaps not like to mingle much with my fiance even after engagement but than thats just me and i cant decide that on my own 
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Re: potential Questions
lol maham..only me and you find it interesting.
so i reckon questions to ask should be along the lines of:
religion and its meaning to you
family
interests
what marriage means to you
whether you think marriage is important or not
work ethic
what the duties of a husband/wife are to you
and so on.
Re: potential Questions
1. What is your concept of marriage?
2. Have you been married before?
3. Are you married now?
** 4. What are you expectations of marriage?**
** 5. What are your goals in life? (long and short term)**
6. Identify three things that you want to accomplish in the near future.
7. Identify three things that you want to accomplish, long term.
** 8. Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse?**
** 9. What is the role of religion in your life now?**
10. Are you a spiritual person?
** 11. What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage?**
** 12. What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously?**
13. What is your relationship between yourself and the Muslims community in your area?
14. Are you volunteering in any Islamic activities?
15. What can you offer your zawj (spouse), spiritually?
** 16. What is the role of the husband?
17. What is the role of the wife?**
18. Do you want to practice polygamy?
19. What is your relationship with your family?
** 20. What do you expect your relationship with the family of your spouse to be?**
** 21. What do you expect your spouses relationship with your family to be?**
22. Is there anyone in your family living with you now?
** 23. Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in the future?**
24. If, for any reason, my relationship with your family turns sour, what should be done?
25. Who are your friends? (Identify at least three.)
26. How did you get to know them?
27. Why are they your friends?
28. What do you like most about them?
29. What will your relationship with them after marriage be?
** 30. Do you have friends of the opposite sex?**
31. What is the level of your relationship with them now?
32. What will be the level of your relationship with them after marriage?
33. What type of relationship do you want your spouse to have with your friends?
34. What are the things that you do in your free time?
35. Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment?
** 36. What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to the house?**
37. What is your opinion of speaking other languages in home that I do not understand? (with friends or family)
38. Do you travel?
39. How do you spend your vacations?
40. How do you think your spouse should spend vacations?
41. Do you read?
42. What do you read?
43. After marriage, do you think that you are one to express romantic feelings verbally?
44. After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in public?
45. How do you express your admiration for someone that you know now?
46. How do you express your feelings to someone who has done a favor for you?
47. Do you like to write your feelings?
48. If you wrong someone, how do you apologize?
49. If someone has wronged you, how do you want (s)he to apologize to you?
50. How much time passes before you can forgive someone?
51. How do you make important and less important decisions in your life?
52. Do you use foul language at home? In public? With family?
53. Do your friends use foul language?
54. Does your family use foul language?
55. How do you express anger?
56. How do you expect your spouse to express anger?
57. What do you do when you are angry?
58. When do you think it is appropriate to initiate mediation in marriage?
59. When there is a dispute in your marriage, religious or otherwise, how should the conflict get resolved?
60. Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse.
61. What would you do if you felt that you had been abused?
62. Who would you call for assistance if you were being abused?
63. Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition?
64. Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before marriage?
65. What is your understanding of proper health and nutrition?
66. How do you support your own health and nutrition?
67. What is you definition of wealth?
68. How do you spend money?
69. How do you save money?
70. How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage?
71. Do you have any debts now? If so, how are you making progress to eliminate them?
72. Do you use credit cards?
73. Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home?
74. What are you expecting from your spouse financially?
75. What is your financial responsibility in the marriage?
76. Do you support the idea of a working wife?
77. If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds?
78. Do you currently use a budget to manage your finances?
79. Who are the people to whom you are financially responsible?
80. Do you support the idea of utilizing baby sitters and/or maids?
81. Do you want to have children? If not, how come?
82. To the best of your understanding, are you able to have children?
83. Do you want to have children in the first two years of marriage? If not, when?
84. Do you believe in abortion?
85. Do you have children now?
86. What is your relationship with your children now?
87. What is your relationship with their other parent?
88. What relationship do you expect your spouse to have with your children and their parent?
89. What is the best method(s) of raising children?
90. What is the best method(s) of disciplining children?
91. How were you raised?
92. How were you disciplined?
93. Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances?
94. Do you believe in public school for your children?
95. Do you believe in Islamic school for your children?
96. Do you believe in home schooling for your children?
97. What type of relationship should your children have with non-Muslim classmates/friends?
98. Would you send your children to visit their extended family if they lived in another state or country?
99. What type of relationship do you want your children to have with all their grandparents?
100. If there are members of my family that are not Muslim, that are of different race or culture, what type of relationship do you want to have with them?
Re: potential Questions
ermmmmmmm cric thats a hell of a list...how are you going to get through all of that?
Re: potential Questions
ermmmmmmm cric thats a hell of a list...how are you going to get through all of that?
why r u in hurry?
Re: potential Questions
Hmm lets c...my potential questions 2 ask would be;
I had definately make sure i get an idea about how he feels about his family and the kind of relationship he has with them. Because if he doesnt think too highly about his family or doesnt respect his parents than i would definately not want to be with a person like that. Unlike other girls i think i am quite intelligent atleast in this area :p, and i can tell that if he can't love/respect his own family than how can he love/respect me or my family. And so it will be a no no for me, thank-you.
Education ranks very high for me and when i say education i dont just mean wanting a guy who has done his master/m.b.a but a guy who has the exposure/thought/ideas supporting his education. If someone doesnt feel the importance of ed other than getting a degree than i am sorrie but that someone is definately not appealing to me :(.
I love** travelling** so i had definately like a guy who likes travelling and is not a home body :p though its not like i like being out 24/7 but than neither do i like sitting at home for weeks and not going out even if just like that :D. Also, travelling to different countries is so much fun one gets to learn alot and its a good way of getting to know each other too i guess. But ofcourse this is only a wish and cant really be a must, unfortunately :(.
How much modern are they in their thinking. When i say modern i do not mean he should want me to wear minis or dance on the pole (lol) but if he is someone who understands that women=men=equal rights. Or that if i am making a 360 turn literally by moving into a new home, new family, new customs, etc he should also be willing to accomodate me in the new home and support me in adjusting to a new lifestyle.
His views and beliefs ofcourse are very important. Ofcourse he will be a muslim if i am considering the rishta, but what kind of muslim is he; practising or not? and even if practising than how much and what kind?.
I think these above are the major questions i had be concerned about...!
Re: potential Questions
Wow Maham ji aap ke paas to kafi time hai aaj kal lolz, very elaborate posts your making. good to read. :)
Re: potential Questions
cric bhai..you better print that list and give it to your fiance ahead of time... and ask her to briefly give u answers for them..
I say if u wanna know how the girl is .. try judging her mother....becuz mother plays an important role when it comes to manners.
The list of question shouldnt be that long.. it depends on what you give priority the most..
the question that i would be interested to find out are.. her education,her expectations of marriage, and i would like to judge a little the etiquettes and manners in her.. and thats about it.
Re: potential Questions
haha, i agree bro, will give it to her as a gift in envlope she will think it's moneh! haha
i agree with you abut the general questions like education and expectations those are the most important ones.
Re: potential Questions
and well... i would say if ure considering shaadi... physical attraction has to be there.. from BOTH sides.!
although this thread is only about the potential questions...but i felt i should add that too.
Re: potential Questions
1. What is your concept of marriage? 2. Have you been married before? 3. Are you married now? ** 4. What are you expectations of marriage?** ** 5. What are your goals in life? (long and short term)** 6. Identify three things that you want to accomplish in the near future. 7. Identify three things that you want to accomplish, long term. ** 8. Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse?** ** 9. What is the role of religion in your life now?** 10. Are you a spiritual person? ** 11. What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage?** ** 12. What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously?** 13. What is your relationship between yourself and the Muslims community in your area? 14. Are you volunteering in any Islamic activities? 15. What can you offer your zawj (spouse), spiritually? ** 16. What is the role of the husband? 17. What is the role of the wife?** 18. Do you want to practice polygamy? 19. What is your relationship with your family? ** 20. What do you expect your relationship with the family of your spouse to be?** ** 21. What do you expect your spouses relationship with your family to be?** 22. Is there anyone in your family living with you now? ** 23. Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in the future?** 24. If, for any reason, my relationship with your family turns sour, what should be done? 25. Who are your friends? (Identify at least three.) 26. How did you get to know them? 27. Why are they your friends? 28. What do you like most about them? 29. What will your relationship with them after marriage be? ** 30. Do you have friends of the opposite sex?** 31. What is the level of your relationship with them now? 32. What will be the level of your relationship with them after marriage? 33. What type of relationship do you want your spouse to have with your friends? 34. What are the things that you do in your free time? 35. Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment? ** 36. What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to the house?** 37. What is your opinion of speaking other languages in home that I do not understand? (with friends or family) 38. Do you travel? 39. How do you spend your vacations? 40. How do you think your spouse should spend vacations? 41. Do you read? 42. What do you read? 43. After marriage, do you think that you are one to express romantic feelings verbally? 44. After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in public? 45. How do you express your admiration for someone that you know now? 46. How do you express your feelings to someone who has done a favor for you? 47. Do you like to write your feelings? 48. If you wrong someone, how do you apologize? 49. If someone has wronged you, how do you want (s)he to apologize to you? 50. How much time passes before you can forgive someone? 51. How do you make important and less important decisions in your life? 52. Do you use foul language at home? In public? With family? 53. Do your friends use foul language? 54. Does your family use foul language? 55. How do you express anger? 56. How do you expect your spouse to express anger? 57. What do you do when you are angry? 58. When do you think it is appropriate to initiate mediation in marriage? 59. When there is a dispute in your marriage, religious or otherwise, how should the conflict get resolved? 60. Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse. 61. What would you do if you felt that you had been abused? 62. Who would you call for assistance if you were being abused? 63. Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition? 64. Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before marriage? 65. What is your understanding of proper health and nutrition? 66. How do you support your own health and nutrition? 67. What is you definition of wealth? 68. How do you spend money? 69. How do you save money? 70. How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage? 71. Do you have any debts now? If so, how are you making progress to eliminate them? 72. Do you use credit cards? 73. Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home? 74. What are you expecting from your spouse financially? 75. What is your financial responsibility in the marriage? 76. Do you support the idea of a working wife? 77. If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds? 78. Do you currently use a budget to manage your finances? 79. Who are the people to whom you are financially responsible? 80. Do you support the idea of utilizing baby sitters and/or maids? 81. Do you want to have children? If not, how come? 82. To the best of your understanding, are you able to have children? 83. Do you want to have children in the first two years of marriage? If not, when? 84. Do you believe in abortion? 85. Do you have children now? 86. What is your relationship with your children now? 87. What is your relationship with their other parent? 88. What relationship do you expect your spouse to have with your children and their parent? 89. What is the best method(s) of raising children? 90. What is the best method(s) of disciplining children? 91. How were you raised? 92. How were you disciplined? 93. Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances? 94. Do you believe in public school for your children? 95. Do you believe in Islamic school for your children? 96. Do you believe in home schooling for your children? 97. What type of relationship should your children have with non-Muslim classmates/friends? 98. Would you send your children to visit their extended family if they lived in another state or country? 99. What type of relationship do you want your children to have with all their grandparents? 100. If there are members of my family that are not Muslim, that are of different race or culture, what type of relationship do you want to have with them?
Similar Questionnaire was posted a few years back. I had this guy answer all the questions, and i was still in doubt.. When i said ke DaaL meiN kuch KaLa hai, he said, "kala kya hai, saari daal hi kaali hai." :)
Re: potential Questions
"3. Are you married now?" haha
Re: potential Questions
lol...well i am planning on testing him first....coz loog aksar biased hotay, apnay baaray main..
i 'll test him on "honesty" FOR SURE...coz i hate jhootay loog.
iNfact i will tell him if he is looking forward for any dowry..than here's the door..he can walk right out from here.
a couple of questions that i may ask are as follows
1) do you pray? and how many times /day?
2)Do u mind if i wear hijaab or not?
3) can u bare a talkative wife?
Re: potential Questions
LOL interesting thread.
Re: potential Questions
:Ddon't ask him/her...hire a good detective...that wud cost u some but his findings wud be more helpful.....rishta time/ scenario main tou both parties are at their best behaviours.
Re: potential Questions
No matter how the guy answers the questions. You women find a way to argue, engage in yelling matches and above all nag all the time.
Re: potential Questions
No matter how the guy answers the questions. You women find a way to argue, engage in yelling matches and above all nag all the time.
and its men who provoke them to do so!
Re: potential Questions
For all those Man and woman = equal rights campaigners …
Please allow me to remind you that equal rights should come with equal set of responsibilities …
Kindly don’t take a 360 turn and move to a place he purchased with his hard earned money ….
What You should do….
Bear the half rent , if he owns that place buy the half of it before moving in . Share half bills ( from utilities to grocery ) , let him cook for three days and you do cooking on your turn..
He shant be paying you pocket money … Gifts for your family members on their birthdays , aqeeqaa and wedding anniversaries should be bought by you not HIM..
If ya can bear all this . Then ya should be talking about that Equal rights yoke ..
we men dont need joy riders either ....
Re: potential Questions
Cricketplaya: If one asks that many questions I’m sure that’s bound to scare the other away 
P..S. This might be great to get rid of a rishtaa 