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Cinematical has just received this exclusive, leaked memo from the new Disney-centric Marvel. Of course, we cannot guarantee its authenticity.*
August 31, 2009
Memo to all Current Marvel/Disney employees:
The following changes are to be made, effective immediately, concerning the nature, personality and behavior of some of the Marvel characters.
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The Avengers will no longer be called The Avengers. This name suggests vengeance or revenge, which does not represent a healthy Disney attitude. The new name will be “The Befrienders.”
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Wolverine will no longer be allowed to drink beer or smoke cigars. Likewise, Iron Man will no longer drink martinis. Juice boxes are acceptable.