My brother who isnt in the same city as mine has gotten engaged. Its not really a formal engagement but an official ‘haan’ by both the families. This brother of mine has been extremely close to me throughout. We both are the youngest of the siblings and have been together throughout even in school and university too.
I’ve heard many a times that many saas and many nunds play a negative role and take out their possessive feeling in the form of disliking for the fiance/wife of the son. In my case, i really like my brother’s fiance but the natural feeling of possessiveness exists. He visits us every 5-6 days. Previously,we went many places together and our talk used to be ‘our’ talk. Me and my mother have always been the two ladies in his life. But now the feeling of possessiveness is coming up.
I very well know that everyone gets married, this had to happen, she is a very nice lady, its a natural feeling, its just fresh right now, i was used to having his attention, it will be balanced out soon etc. I know all that! but i just wanted to share with some one this feeling that is it okay to be possessive about your sibling. Its not that i will do any kind of harm to anyone in any way - i love my brother and i love his fiance too! But its difficult adjusting to the change that some one else will be sharing the attention that i always got from him.
P.S do not start the usual personal attacking because you need to be in a situation to be able to realize the feeling one gets from it
hmmmmm i dnt know...but when my brother got engaged i was so worried that if the girl will take care of him or not or if she really love him or not.. and when i shared my thoughts someone they said that i was being possessive...but i wasnt like that...i was just worried about my brothers future...
coz we know we love our brothers unconfitional and they do the same..but the thing which u r calling "possessiveness" it is not exactlyy like that...what we feel deep inside is tht what if our bhabhi will take him away from us...and thats the reason we start being possessive...but its good if we see +ve side of things that she (bhabhi ) will be a good life partner Insha ALLAH..and will look after our brothers more then we do...and its better to stop this feeling here in starting..and dont let anyone else feel it..
Its natural and it will go away with time. Place yourself in his fiance's shoes wouldn't you want your fiance's attention ? I mean I would think that my fiance has spend all his life with family we are newly engaged and it doesn't hurt if I spend some extra time with him , its a golden period for any couples life and they shd be allowed to make most of it and shd try to understand each other as much as possible.
If you are missing him that much call up your bro's fiance ask her for lunch or dinner out with your brother just the 3 of you this way you'll be able to spend time with both of them and you'll be happy to see them happy too.
I think you will feel this way for a while so try really hard not to let on to your brother's fiance. You want to be able to ride out this phase and work on a very close and loving relationship with your bhabi and brother at some point. Be strong girl! No one is going to take away your brother!
You know what? I think you're a great SIL because at least you were able to recognize your feelings and curb them so you didnt end up unintentionally hurting your Bhabi. That takes brains and a good heart...worry not...things will be fine. Continue to be this way, open and loving...and no one will ever be able to break up your family.
I think all these feelings are natural and its great that you are in control of them!
My cousin has 4 sisters, they were all extremely possessive about him and worried. One day husbamd and wife had an argument and he told his youngest sister who told the other sisters. Now he is divorced.
My brother who isnt in the same city as mine has gotten engaged. Its not really a formal engagement but an official 'haan' by both the families. This brother of mine has been extremely close to me throughout. We both are the youngest of the siblings and have been together throughout even in school and university too.
I've heard many a times that many saas and many nunds play a negative role and take out their possessive feeling in the form of disliking for the fiance/wife of the son. In my case, i really like my brother's fiance but the natural feeling of possessiveness exists. He visits us every 5-6 days. Previously,we went many places together and our talk used to be 'our' talk. Me and my mother have always been the two ladies in his life. But now the feeling of possessiveness is coming up.
I very well know that everyone gets married, this had to happen, she is a very nice lady, its a natural feeling, its just fresh right now, i was used to having his attention, it will be balanced out soon etc. I know all that! but i just wanted to share with some one this feeling that is it okay to be possessive about your sibling. Its not that i will do any kind of harm to anyone in any way - i love my brother and i love his fiance too! But its difficult adjusting to the change that some one else will be sharing the attention that i always got from him.
P.S do not start the usual personal attacking because you need to be in a situation to be able to realize the feeling one gets from it
Thoughts become words, words become actions, actions become character and character bcomes destny.. a paraphrase...
Your feelings may be natural but it can very well manifest itself in unhealthy ways that end up leading to the breaking of a relationship. Check ur feelings, and control them.
Thoughts become words, words become actions, actions become character and character bcomes destny.. a paraphrase...
Your feelings may be natural but it can very well manifest itself in unhealthy ways that end up leading to the breaking of a relationship. Check ur feelings, and control them.
This is what i was trying to say in my post.
My family is kind of messed up now because of the relationship breaking up! so be really careful.