So how much would you consider a healthy amount? And how much would be considered being insecure about your relationship?
Personally, I feel that this is something between the two and no one can lay down hard n fast rules for it. If your spouse appreciates your possesive nature then good for you and vice versa. So keep in mind this isn’t about something being incorrect or not, but just how you percieve it.
I think I read in a thread here on gs some time ago, that some guy wanted his wife/fiance to stay fat so other guys would not be interested in her.. this I kind of felt was over stepping the line, but lets say your spouse prefers you dont wear a certain color or wear it only for them? (because you look very good in it) Or how about going to certain places/meeting certain friends? What if your spouse feels that a certain friend of the opposite gender is being too friendly towards you and wishes for you to not see them as much? What if your spouse still has gifts from their old boyfriends/girlfriends/friends because those gifts are “useful”?
I think, that since its a special relationship, there are certain things that a spouse can ask for from the other person. Being possesive in the sense that “Since you’re mine, I prefer to keep the best of you to myself” is Ok. On the other hand, “I will keep you pushed under my thumb because its my RIGHT”, is kind of wrong since instead of helping your marriage, your spouse would feel forced.
So what do you guys say?? Dont start off with the usual they’re old enough and they can decide who they want to see etc, the two have rights on each other and making your spouse feel comfortable should be of higher priority. Try to think of someone you’re very possesive of/have strong feelings towards, and then see how much you would be willing to “share” in a real life situation.
well, i actually dont see much of the problem here....what kind of discussion do u have in ur mind on this topic, since u do not wish to hear any of the valid points???
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Dont start off with the usual they're old enough and they can decide who they want to see etc, the two have rights on each other and making your spouse feel comfortable should be of higher priority.
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*Originally posted by ammarr: *
So how much would you consider a healthy amount? And how much would be considered being insecure about your relationship?
Personally, I feel that this is something between the two and no one can lay down hard n fast rules for it. If your spouse appreciates your possesive nature then good for you and vice versa. So keep in mind this isn't about something being incorrect or not, but just how you percieve it.
I think I read in a thread here on gs some time ago, that some guy wanted his wife/fiance to stay fat so other guys would not be interested in her.. this I kind of felt was over stepping the line, but lets say your spouse prefers you dont wear a certain color or wear it only for them? (because you look very good in it) Or how about going to certain places/meeting certain friends? What if your spouse feels that a certain friend of the opposite gender is being too friendly towards you and wishes for you to not see them as much? What if your spouse still has gifts from their old boyfriends/girlfriends/friends because those gifts are "useful"?
I think, that since its a special relationship, there are certain things that a spouse can ask for from the other person. Being possesive in the sense that "Since you're mine, I prefer to keep the best of you to myself" is Ok. On the other hand, "I will keep you pushed under my thumb because its my RIGHT", is kind of wrong since instead of helping your marriage, your spouse would feel forced.
So what do you guys say?? :) Dont start off with the usual they're old enough and they can decide who they want to see etc, the two have rights on each other and making your spouse feel comfortable should be of higher priority. Try to think of someone you're very possesive of/have strong feelings towards, and then see how much you would be willing to "share" in a real life situation.
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As I dont have a spouse I can only speak about how I think I will be. If my spouse prefers I dont wear a certain color or only wear it for them, I would glady do so. I'm not one for dressing up in the first place. If my spouse doesnt appreciate me hanging out with a certain friend of opposite gender, I would also not hang out with them and explain the reasons why. To me, my spouses wishes are more important than my friends at the end of the day. I dont care much about old gifts that have been given to them. They are gifts afterall. Even if you took them away they would still have the memory of the person. This is how I personally would deal with those things. I also believe that I have a right to ask my partner to abstain from certain things, just as he would have of me. smile
Hmm...well I'd say when it comes to doing something that the other likes or abstaining from it..if it's possible then why not do it for the love of your partner?
Stuff like colors and hair should never be an issue though..I find that a bit extreme.
When it comes to associating with members of the oppostie sex...well...if that OTHER person is disrespectful and hurtful towards me I'd expect my spouse to have nothing to do with that lady. Anyone who doesn't respect my position as his wife should not be considered a "friend" by him.
As for gifts from other ladies or old girlfriends well I shouldn't see that as a problem...
If he asked me to dress in a certain way or wear something because he likes it..I'd be glad to do it...and maybe I'd like him to do the same once in a while...but I wouldn't ask him to wear something he was uncomfortable with and I'd expect the same freedom.
In fact I'd like it once in a while...a display of possesiveness...as long as the feelings put into it are positive the results can neve be negative.
By negative feelings I mean...like being jealous of your wife and telling her to cut her hair off...or when at a party making your wife sit in a corner coz she happens to be attractive and the hubby cheerfuly flirts with the ladies.
personally , I'm not posessive (well i am , but only for my mother )
to me its fine whatever he choses to do .....but to a certain limit
i don't mind if he spends time with his friends .....n the fact is that until now i have came across nothing to raise my eyebrows about :)
he is not posessive either .......directly , he hasnever asked me for not meeting someone etc.....but if i feel he is not happy ....i just don't go that way .....to me he is important than anyone else :)
Dont start off with the usual they’re old enough and they can decide who they want to see etc, the two have rights on each other and making your spouse feel comfortable should be of higher priority. Try to think of someone you’re very possesive of/have strong feelings towards, and then see how much you would be willing to “share” in a real life situation.