{removed on Irem’s request}
24 views and still no replies.
I think probably to some extent the desire to look at pornography comes from a "healthy" sense of curiousity. Doesn't mean it should be encouraged, just that we need to understand and be realistic about the issue. The guy (or girl too I suppose) is not "bad" if he wants to see porn. But one needs to exercise self-control.
However, there are studies that have been done that show that often pornography leads to increased violence and rape crimes. I've seen one about the atrocities that were committed by invading men in Bosnia linking these to popular pornography in the area.
All guys don't look at pornography and they don't "need" to. As far as I know, my brothers and most of my friends do not. But there are almost definitely some that do.
Would like to hear a male perspective on this as well.
Re: pornography
You have already made your impressions (bolded words) and then you contradict yourself as usual (italics). What do you expect for replies from pervert, creepy people from unsophisticated families...?
I don’t know what is the best way to answer it as some people are very judgmental but I will try by asking you some counter questions
1)What kind of business has the largest number of websites on internet?
2)What sells?
3)How are men sexually stimulated versus women?
4)What is the oldest profession that we know off?
5)What happens to an inquisitive brain in a segregated society?
hmm well thats a good start for now...
^ I think, Fayz, that what you're seeing as Irem contradicting herself is actually her struggling with her feelings and judgement. Like, she knows that she shouldn't jump to conclusions, but cannot help her feelings toward the situation.
Boys are being boys Irem. Its bad n all, you maybe s.h.o.c.k.e.d. :p but even your sons will do it to some extent. Lets just put it this way to open your horizons, every man has done it in one form or another viewing pornography in the same nature every man has commited the one hand clap. Its nature to look at the opposite sex but its governing rules of particular society and religion that tell us not to. Aisay bhi log hotay hai, but their iklhaq is very well intact. Sexually frustrated, yes they are but can you blame them after culture puts all these ties down and then get married. Its a form of liberation for them, I guess. I don't condone it. Don't get me wrong. But it happens, thats a fact.
same applies for girls (some parts may not apply to all)
^
is it not possible for them to exercise self-restraint??
Irem baji, why were you going through his files anyway?
from music videos to movies, there is some sort of porn (or a lot of it) every where. u cant escape it. cud be just curiosity. its like reading play boy magzine. every guy at some point in his life have seen it while hiding it behind it under ur bed or whatever. now a days its internet. as long as he not doing any thing, i think its harmless.
now the mullah part is very interesting.. and kinda make sense.
oh irem most of the guys are sick and dont have beter things to do at internet :yukh:…
I can't speak about the young male adults in Pakistan but having lived in US for some time in desi communities while attending school and after, here are two cents worth.
At one point or another most people indulge in this kind of behavior but mostly it is a temporary phase. Few people I knew actually had collections of magazines, movies, and pictures saved on their hard drives. Mostly people start this as “fun” but in some cases this becomes a serious issue.
In the age where our religious values are confused, marriages are getting delayed and more and more sexually explicit and implicit stuff is being projected in the media young generation is finding this as an outlet for their sexual frustrations.
I don’t have any hadith to back it up but common sense says that it is a form of Zina. I have no doubt in my mind it is haram. It is even worse for people who are married and still indulge in this sinful act, it is no less than cheating on your spouse.
One should encourage others to stop. Mostly it is a phase, but who knows for some it might not be a phase, it can ruin them, their families, and their akhirat. We need to channel the energies of our youth to other things that are more constructive and beneficial to them as well as the society, but this is a million dollar question, how and what?
In my opinion marriages should be done early and we need to better control the sexually explicit material on TV and other media outlets. This is not just a Pakistani problem it is a problem that exists in each and every society and thanks to the internet it has become very easy.
If religion was to play a major role in our lives these kinds of issues will be a lot easier to deal with. Now don’t go around telling me stories of Mullahs doing this and doing that… Obviously some Mullahs are not following Islamic teachings. Having Mullah in one’s name does not make them a religious person.
Unfortunately a lot of replies in this thread made it seem like, it is no big deal, it is normal. My humble opinion; No it is not OK, something that should alarm us and force us into taking action or at the very least condemn it.
Keep in mind that mostly men are watching what women are dishing out to them… so the sickness prevails in both sexes…
Chachoo, I don’t think the question is if it is OK or not OK from religious or social perspective. We all know the answet to that. The question is why people do it and why it is so common.
Sahar02, I realize Irem’s self-struggle but its wise not to call someone xyz and then say sighz I don’t want to call him/her xyz :S :S :S . If you want to discuss a subject leave it open…
Personally, I would rather see a guy watching porn rather than raping an innocent.
p.s This should be a smiley ---> :s.h.o.c.k.e.d: :-D
I was also stunned when i saw a young boy.. lookin at the things he shouldnt.. i think..it is lack of religious knowlegde.. ppl use to see women with respect... but now.. there is no concern.. about wat we believe and our faith is.. Such Guys have no respect for women...one of the guy in my class.. has his locker filled with these things.. but none of the teachers could point a finger on him..i felt totally offened.. there is no sharam left.. which was called to be a tresure of women.. but now a days.. ppl are so pathetic... that i dont even wanna talk about it...
hmm...
I dunno what to think.. lol
One of my co-workers works with severely disabled adults. Now these are poor people who cannot communicate at all...God only knows what they are even capable of comprehending. They have to be fed by hand or tube fed and they're lucky if you can teach them to respond in anyway. They can't walk or talk... anyhow he's said he's caught them masterbating..
Now this is an extreme case.. but I guess my point is... even without any kind of exposure to pornography or whatever... there are certain instincts we are all born.
It's embarassing and it's hard to even understand ..but like it or not it's what's kept the human race from going extinct.
{removed on Irem's request}
irem all i would say is that as chachoo said it is a phase that every one goes thru but that does not make a person a pervert or anything neither does it decrease the respect for women its all a matter of ur own values
and as sandaleen said all guys are sick so well sis i don think u r rite the problem prevails in both sexes :k:
Irem u are gonna have to live with the fact, almost every guy on this planet has seen porn in his teenage years and I believe it decreases as a person matures. Is porn bad? ... maybe it is...maybe not.Kept within control(not becoming an addict) it helps u later on in life. A man without these thoughts wouldn't be a man. U'd probably get Albert Einstein if a guy didn't watch porn and we all know how many girls he got married to.
frankly Irem, it is hard to believe u were in the U.S for 4 odd years( and not under parental supervision). You act like you are fresh from some pind. I am s.h.o.c.k.e.d that you find such things even worth mentioning and crying about. I mean, everyone knows men do porn. I am not saying it is a very healthy thing to do, but they do it. And it is part of the normal human curiosity in most cases. Like many people have mentioned above, getting addicted to it, isn't healthy at all. But seriously, stop making a big deal out of such things.
all guys i know (except my adult relatives and shareef molvi types) talk about sex or pornography, all of them agree that if given the chance they’ll jump into bed with a woman, if any guy denies it and comes out with **** about morals and bull**** ignore him cuz he’s taking through the end of his...
ps. sis keep ur distance from these types, you seem like a shareef maasoom girl from a decent ‘khandani’ family. it’s a messed up world out there, all these mashed up chichorey types shareefoun ko bhi ghalat rastey pe ley aatey hein, trust me I know.