Polygamy

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21

Re: Polygamy

interesting irem, just wondering why ur dad decided to take this step for keeping two wives? also how does it effect u or the children of ur mom#2?

err.. okay this might be personal. feel free to PM me or not reply at all.

22

Re: Polygamy

aal kal muslmanon par zawal aaea hua he.. generally cant afford more than one wife :(

23

Re: Polygamy

I think it used to be more common some decades ago, but in today's world I don't think it's more than 5% which means, I agree with ahmadjee.

However I really don't know about the actual situation in Pakistan as I have not spent a lot of time there. Maybe it's different to what I think.

~*Foolz Outa u All*~
24

Re: Polygamy

there is also another breed who do this. i think in urdu the term would be khufiya nikah. where the guy is already married but wants to get married again and polygamy comes handy. this is solely based on stuff i have read in papers and heard from people, dont know first hand.

25

Re: Polygamy

um, so how is this khufiya nikah any different from standard polygamy?

26

Re: Polygamy

This is a very interesting topic. I am also interested to know how polygyny affects children...

27

Re: Polygamy

khufiya = discreet

Often men who are already married all of a sudden meet another lass and want to marry her too (don’t we all :wink: ). And they do so discreetly without letting the first wife know. In my opinion this is unacceptable and unislamic since according to Islamic law you need to have the full permission of the first wife before being able to marry someone else.

Last person to answer this post wins!!!!
Last person to answer this post wins!!!!
28

Re: Polygamy

any proof for that from islamic sources or is it just apologetic bullcrap?

29

Re: Polygamy

ahmadjee and Umer. We the city dwelling and educated group of people represent less than 10% of Pakistan's population. Even within us there exist men who have married more than once regardless of this being frowned upon by most urban culture.

So when you think about the rest of the 90% population which resides mostly in villages and tribal areas (where this tradition isnt even looked down upon and practiced freely and recklessly) you can be rest assured that theres way more than 5% of the population getting jiggy twice or more.

Most of these people do it for the wrong reasons or just because they want to, and use 'Islam may 4 ki ijaazat' as justification. Only if they ever cared to look deeper in the laws they would find that its not that simple.

Ofcourse there also exist plenty of genuine cases like ahmadjee mentioned in post #5.

30

Re: Polygamy

You have a good point Che but I have seen the trend changing in rural areas as well, at least in northern/central Punjab.

Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
31

Re: Polygamy

so since the wife couldn’t have children that case was “genuine”? Any case in which a man practices polygamy is genuine as long as he treats them properly. You don’t need some sort of extreme reason to be able to marry more than one wife. And if you think we do than please bring some proof.

And since when did you need full permission of the first wife? Although I would agree with you that it would be extremely insensitive for the husband to completely ignore his first wife and thus would be unislamic because Islam teaches good treatment of one’s wife/wives.

32

Re: Polygamy

sometimes I feel I could use a second wife too. lately I am wearing un-ironed clothes and end be drinking coffee on my way to work. What happned to khawand dooja khuda hunda ay....ok khuda na sahi, kam-z-kam kapRay te press hoan.

33

Re: Polygamy

Is it good treatment or good manners to not ask your wife for permission to remarry, as someone else stated above?

34

Re: Polygamy

i just read it somewhere that the percentage of men marry more than once in pakistan is around 4.16 (approx).. i can't give any gurantee of the authenticity of the percentage neither i remember the source...

35

Re: Polygamy

I am sorry to say that but beside being the reason of first wife not able to have children, any other reason for a man to get married second time is just PLAIN SICK and HORRENDOUS !!! Becuz it literally breaks all the vows he took to keep up the comittment and faithfulness with his first wife.

somebody....
36

Re: Polygamy

What vows? I’m talking about an islamic marraige. The vows are in the marraige contract and no contract says or can say that “the husband can not marry a second wife” because you can’t disallow something that Allah has allowed. However the contract CAN say that in case the husband does take another wife, the first wife can divorce without any questions asked.

37

Re: Polygamy

Yes, it doesn't say it anywhere but a marriage contract and vows also strongly reflect the idea of being faithful to each other. If a man being in a marriage starts fantasizing about other women and wanting to get married just to be with her (without reasons such as not being able to have children or not being able to satisfy a husband), doesn't this act breaks the basic law of marriage. Since the husband is tired of being with one women, it certainly doesn't make it ok to go for the next one. I do not think Allah has meant a man to get another wife just becuz he feels like it and he feels so empowered. It only happens in the world becuz some women feel weak financially and emotionally and lead to accept this stupidity without any choice. On the other hand what i have seen, polygamy has mostly brought fitna and devastation upon the first family, then why would Allah allow such an act unless there is a very big reason....certainly not the one most guys think here on this forum.

38

Re: Polygamy

I don't get it. Am I missing something here?

Yes polygamy is allowed. But what if your first wife disagrees to it? Permission may not be necessary but please, do NOT use Islam to justify your patheticly disgusting behavior by going behind her back and hurting her. Last time I checked, Islam was a compassionate religion, and it discouraged unkind treatment of men towards women. Hurting someone intentionally IS a sin...

39

Re: Polygamy

im not saying to go behind her back and hurting her or anythign like that. just saying at the end of the day the husband should go about it the proper way, meaning communicating to his wife about his desire to marry another woman etc. and the wife should understand that it’s his islamic right.

40

Re: Polygamy

and so you figure that “a very big reason” is that the wife has to be barren? i’ve seen plently of successful cases involving polygamy including my own family. Allah has allowed this but it also comes with a big obligation. Seriously if you don’t like it and don’t want to be a part of it then fine, it doesn’t matter to me, but don’t start coming up with your own interpretations of what is said in the Quran and passing them off as facts.

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