I came across this the other day, and found it interesting, so thought I’d share. I am not asking in this thread if you think polygamy is moral or immoral, its simply to share something I have read.
The Bible did not condemn polygamy. To the contrary, the Old Testament and Rabbinic writings frequently attest to the legality of polygamy. King Solomon is said to have had 700 wives and 300 concubines (1 Kings 11:3) Also, king David is said to have had many wives and concubines (2 Samuel 5:13). The Old Testament does have some injunctions on how to distribute the property of a man among his sons from different wives (Deut. 22:7). The only restriction on polygamy is a ban on taking a wife’s sister as a rival wife (Lev. 18:18). The Talmud advises a maximum of four wives. 51 European Jews continued to practice polygamy until the sixteenth century. Oriental Jews regularly practiced polygamy until they arrived in Israel where it is forbidden under civil law. However, under religious law which overrides civil law in such cases, it is permissible. 52 What about the New Testament? According to Father Eugene Hillman in his insightful book, Polygamy reconsidered, “Nowhere in the New Testament is there any explicit commandment that marriage should be monogamous or any explicit commandment forbidding polygamy.” 53 Moreover, Jesus has not spoken against polygamy though it was practiced by the Jews of his society. Father Hillman stresses the fact that the Church in Rome banned polygamy in order to conform to the Greco-Roman culture (which prescribed only one legal wife while tolerating concubinage and prostitution). He cited St. Augustine, “Now indeed in our time, and in keeping with Roman custom, it is no longer allowed to take another wife.” 54 African churches and African Christians often remind their European brothers that the Church’s ban on polygamy is a cultural tradition and not an authentic Christian injunction.
Billy Graham, the eminent Christian evangelist has recognized this fact: “Christianity cannot compromise on the question of polygamy. If present-day Christianity cannot do so, it is to its own detriment. Islam has permitted polygamy as a solution to social ills and has allowed a certain degree of latitude to human nature but only within the strictly defined framework of the law. Christian countries make a great show of monogamy, but actually they practice polygamy. No one is unaware of the part mistresses play in Western society. In this respect Islam is a fundamentally honest religion, and permits a Muslim to marry a second wife if he must, but strictly forbids all clandestine amatory associations in order to safeguard the moral probity of the community.” 75
Some very good points!!! Though something I wanted to add ...
First off, what is practiced in most non-polygamous western & eastern countries is serial monogamy as the anthropologists like to call it. In other words, all such cultures are not monogamous, but consider themselves attached to only one person at one particular time, legally off course. Some Churches however emphasize monogamous contracts & prohibit serial monogamy, for example the Catholic church where having a divorce gets you thrown out of church. Though I have heard of cases where marriages have been annulled through other means & the preacher looks the other way considering their second marriage (after the divorce of first) as their first marriage to begin with.
From my discussions with Christian missionaries, their understanding of the morals of Jewish tradition is no more than history. Unlike the Jews & the Muslims who consider prophets like David, Solomon & Moses as role-models, Christian consider them no more than important Men of God. The revelations to them is considered worthy though not as much to the word of God which came to earth in flesh i.e. Jesus. So, when pointed out that previous 'prophets' actually practiced polygamy, it doesn't go very far as according to their belief it really doesn't matter. Though it's interesting to note that if Jesus was truly the sole role-model then according to the widely accepted history, he never married!!
As pointed out by the article Jesus never explicitly condemned polygamy, though his sermons on marital harmony & forgiveness can be pointed out as encouraging monogamous behavior! Some of the sayings of Paul can be quoted as being explicitly monogamous but it's a matter of opinion.
The quote of Billy Graham seems to give the idea that somehow Islam gives such privileges only to stop certain social evils, mainly the raging hormones of men! And such a perception of polygamy to a secular serial monogamous society gives a very unlikable and man-dominant, women oppressed, view of the whole issue.
It's interesting to note that the History that reached us through the Qur'an doesn't mention any prophet having more than one wife.. maybe someone can point out a verse i've missed to prove otherwise.
Whatever the religious arguements may be, whether Islamic or Christian or Hindu...how do you rationalize that polygamy can be practiced by only the male? Take a succesful career woman who practices her religion. Will you accept if she decides to take in a couple of husbands?
Did Quran mention the story of Hazrat Ibrahim :as: and his two wives: Hazrat Sarah (RA) and Hazrat Hajirah (RA) as part of the whole history of Bani-Israel and Bani-Ismail?
Guess no one even wants to address the obvious question. If you rationalize polygamy by the male, will you accept the same by the female? Or is subscription to the "females are the lesser humans" theory a precondition to polygamy?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by TomSawyer: *
Whatever the religious arguements may be, whether Islamic or Christian or Hindu...how do you rationalize that polygamy can be practiced by only the male? Take a succesful career woman who practices her religion. Will you accept if she decides to take in a couple of husbands?
[/QUOTE]
Will you accept..?
We'll STONE her into oblivion and blame it all -not on religion, but on CULTURE!
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by TomSawyer: *
Whatever the religious arguements may be, whether Islamic or Christian or Hindu...how do you rationalize that polygamy can be practiced by only the male? Take a succesful career woman who practices her religion. Will you accept if she decides to take in a couple of husbands?
[/QUOTE]
[quote]
A lot of people, including some Muslims, question the logic of allowing Muslim men to have more than one spouse while denying the same ‘right’ to women.
Let me first state emphatically, that the foundation of an Islamic society is justice and equity. Allah has created men and women as equal, but with different capabilities and different responsibilities. Men and women are different, physiologically and psychologically. Their roles and responsibilities are different. Men and women are equal in Islam, but not identical.
Surah Nisa’ Chapter 4 verses 22 to 24 gives the list of women with who you can not marry and it is further mentions in Surah Nisa’ Chapter 4 verse 24 "Also (prohibited are) women already married"
The following points enumerate the reasons why polyandry is prohibited in Islam:
If a man has more than one wife, the parents of the children born of such marriages can easily be identified. The father as well as the mother can easily be identified. In case of a woman marrying more than one husband, only the mother of the children born of such marriages will be identified and not the father. Islam gives tremendous importance to the identification of both parents, mother and father. Psychologists tell us that children who do not know their parents, especially their father undergo severe mental trauma and disturbances. Often they have an unhappy childhood. It is for this reason that the children of prostitutes do not have a healthy childhood. If a child born of such wedlock is admitted in school, and when the mother is asked the name of the father, she would have to give two or more names! I am aware that recent advances in science have made it possible for both the mother and father to be identified with the help of genetic testing. Thus this point which was applicable for the past may not be applicable for the present.
Man is more polygamous by nature as compared to a woman.
Biologically, it is easier for a man to perform his duties as a husband despite having several wives. A woman, in a similar position, having several husbands, will not find it possible to perform her duties as a wife. A woman undergoes several psychological and behavioral changes due to different phases of the menstrual cycle.
A woman who has more than one husband will have several sexual partners at the same time and has a high chance of acquiring venereal or sexually transmitted diseases which can also be transmitted back to her husband even if all of them have no extra-marital sex. This is not the case in a man having more than one wife, and none of them having extra-marital sex.
The above reasons are those that one can easily identify. There are probably many more reasons why Allah, in His Infinite Wisdom, has prohibited polyandry.
^ So this doctor gives the reasons that man is a sexual pig, a women's "duties" include providing sex upon demand and a woman is not emotionally strong enough to handle it. All that boils down to is a patriarchal, male-dominated society where a woman exists to please the whims of man. While there may be an argument to justify the reasoning of men having multiple wives and not visa versa, this is not it. It is a weak argument.
Saif, your quote of the doc simply proves why polygamy is wrong. It sounds more like a comparison of polygamy and polyandri rather than addressing the main issue: why do you need to sanction either?
So why can't the quron have imposed the restriction the other way, namely, men allowed only one one spouse and women allowed 4? Wouldn't the children be as sure of their parents the too?
What proof does the doc have to state men are "by nature" more polygamous?
Point #3 rates a five star for stupidity and demogaugory. What is Dr.Zakir Naik's quals? Dr in what?
Point #4 competes wit point #3 admirably. Men don't catch v.d but women do? what did the genious base this on?
*>>> If you rationalize polygamy by the male, will you accept the same by the female? *
It's a valid question and the first point from the quote of Dr. Zakir Naik "If a man has more than one wife, the parents of the children born of such marriages can easily be identified. he father as well as the mother can easily be identified. In case of a woman marrying more than one husband, only the mother of the children born of such marriages will be identified and not the father" seems to answer the above. Actually it has been argued through centuries by most advocates of Polygamy, so nothing original by Dr. Sahib. The rest of his justifications only give doubts about his intelligence & the title Dr.
Some can argue further that such question of identity can be resolved with 1) Sleeping order, as is practiced in some villages of Nepal where the polyandrous (belonging to both Hindu/Buddhist religions) women give specific time to their many husbands, who are often brothers. 2) Or through DNA tests.
I usually say whatever suits your taste!! Ethics & social norms are usually something a society comes to recognize & accept through evolution & consensus through time. For example, it is considered sinful to use child labor by corporate America these days, though most Western nations had the same problem & was considered acceptable in the early part of last century. Someone will criticize the child-soldiers of the rebels of Africa, while they ignore the fact that even in the American Civil War underage soldiers were used from both sides. Similarly, there are times when getting a divorce was illegal, before the perceived enlightenment but these days it's a right! Such Ethical questions are not objective, but subjective and really depend on how one was brought up and how the surroundings effect his or her judgment.
>>> IMO love for two women is not true love.
Another interesting perspective, which is not unique to the Western Culture. Such a thought is probably related to the idea that everyone has a pre-destined soul mate & one will definitely find his or her in their lifetime. A very romantic notion indeed but far away from ground realities, as it assumes that such a soul mate lives in the accessible vicinity, probably doesn't have another soul mate & will probably be ready for the commitment in due time.
Mostly such people who believe in one true love usually do approve serial monogamy. Not to mention that they do also believe in one loving his two sisters alike, two daughters alike .. so on and so forth.
[QUOTE] Originally posted by ahmadjee: *
*>>> If you rationalize polygamy by the male, will you accept the same by the female? **
It's a valid question and the first point from the quote of Dr. Zakir Naik "If a man has more than one wife, the parents of the children born of such marriages can easily be identified. he father as well as the mother can easily be identified. In case of a woman marrying more than one husband, only the mother of the children born of such marriages will be identified and not the father" seems to answer the above.
[/QUOTE]
Can't a paternity test / DNA establish who the father is?
i thought 12 bec holy Prophet PBUH had 12 wives